


Blonde Elvis

by mazarin01



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Drama, First Love, Fluff, Isak Valtersen Loves Even Bech Næsheim, Kissing, Love, M/M, SKAM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-02-17 11:36:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 71,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13076046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazarin01/pseuds/mazarin01
Summary: “I need him in my life,” Isak stated.“Who? That guy?” Jonas asked.“Yes! Did you see his eyes?” A sigh escaped Isak’s mouth as he stared in the direction of Even, who now had walked over to some guy smoking. “And those cheekbones. And the hair.”“We’ve already commented on the fluffy hair.” Jonas chuckled.“He’s like a blond Elvis.”------A story about Isak and Even, set in Oslo / Hartvig Nissen, where they find each other and rescue each other.Don't mind the lame name of the story, it was the working title and I couldn't come up with a better one :-PAll the songs mentioned in this story and the songs I listen to while I write this, can be found here: https://open.spotify.com/user/mazarin-/playlist/4MTUTDr0iMapAcZXPjbzLr





	1. This is Isak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little intro to the story. I hope you'll like it and want's to read more. :-)

“What happened to you on saturday?” Jonas looked at Isak while taking a bite of his sandwich. It was lunch and they were out in the school court, sitting on top of a bench, eating.

“What?”

“You were hammered!”

“I was drunk. Isn’t that what most teens are during the weekend? Everybody was drunk at Madhi’s party.”

“You were hammered.” Jonas repeated. “Not everyone get so drunk they can barely stand on their feet.”

“I walked home, didn’t I?” Isak was sure he’d walked home. After all, he lived only five blocks away from Madhi’s apartment. But to be honest, he didn’t remember anything.

“Uh, no. Mags ordered a taxi and brought you home. He even had to help you undress and get you in bed, since neither Eskild or Noora was there. It wasn’t even midnight.”

“Oh.” He couldn’t even bother to be embarrassed.

“So, what’s up with the heavy drinking?”

“I saw Tom.”

“Tom! Where?”

“At the supermarket. He was packing his groceries while I was paying for mine. I wasn’t even aware of him until he started talking to me.”

“And he said what?”

“Asked if I’d gotten any good sex lately or if I was just buthurt and cried like a baby.”

“That fucker! I’ll knock him down next time I’ll see him. You should’ve reported him while you had the chance, you still have a chance.”

“Stop! I don’t want to talk about it.”

“OK. But it’s not healthy going around harbouring so much anger.”

“I’m not!”

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“There is really nothing to talk about.”

He lied. There were lots to talk about, but he didn’t know what to say or how to say it. It was embarrassing to talk about. How could he tell that the first time he’d had sex with a boy he had been drunk and cried like a baby, and he didn’t cry because it was so amazing, but because he was in a dirty men’s room and it hurt.

“I gotta go. Pee. See you in class.”

And there he lied, again.

Isak walked into the men’s room and found an empty stall he could he hide in. To breath, to calm down, to get as many negative thoughts as possible out of his head before class started again. Why did Tom have such a grip on him and push him into this dark hole every time they met, making him all emotional and angry for days and sometimes weeks?

It was six months now since the incident, six months since hell broke lose. It started with a party at Jonas’ house. His parents had been out of town so he invited people. Unfortunately his parents had decided to come home earlier than planned. So at 1AM everyone was ushered out of the house, including Isak who had planned to stay the night. Jonas’ parents had been far from happy. But Isak didn’t want to go home. Home was chaos. Home was fighting parents; a paranoid, depressed mum and a dad ready to move out. The whole house harboured so much negativity and it was impossible not to be affected by it.

So instead of going home, he ended up drunk at a gay bar. His fake ID got him in and he sat by the counter drinking one beer after another. A cute guy sitting next to him had started to talk to him, one thing lead to another and soon they were sitting by the bar kissing. After his third beer and a vodka shot, he stumbled towards the men’s room. The handicap toilet had been open, but as he walked in a guy stood there with his dick out. Before he’d gotten the chance to walk out, the guy asked if he was interested in haveing sex. They guy in the bar was already forgotten and without thinking much he said yes. Maybe he hoped he would take him home? At least he didn’t have to go home to his place if that happened. But the guy wasn’t interested in something like that. He had just asked Isak to pull down his pants and Isak willingly did as he said and before he knew it, he felt the guys dick inside his buthole. The guy trusted so hard and it hurt. Tears had pressed and it was impossible not to cry.

Sara was Isak’s so called boyfriend at the time and Tom was Sara’s two year older brother. He was a sleazebag and Isak didn’t like him at all. He didn’t like Sara that much either, but he needed a fake girlfriend until he was ready to come out and Sara had shown interest in him

Tom had witnessed everything.  He had randomly seen Isak walk into the gay bar and then he’d followed him inside and carefully placed himself somewhere he couldn’t be seen by Isak, but where he could see him. He’d seen him kiss one guy and then he’d been standing outside the toilet, listening to Isak cry while another guy had taken him from behind.

Two days later hell broke lose. An anonymous Instagram account had been made with pictures of Isak and the guy he had made out with and a description of what he had seen that evening and people had been tagged.

This was not how Isak had pictured coming out and definitely not how his first sexual experience with a guy would be.


	2. Who's that guy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak sees Even (Blonde Elvis) for the first time and falls in love. Instantly. <3

“Isak? Isak!” No response. “Earth is calling Isak Valtersen!” Jonas waved his hand in front of Isak’s face.

“Huh?”

“Bro, where were you? I’m talking to you.”

“Mmhm”

“Isak. What are you looking at? Where are you?”

“Who’s that guy?”

“Who?”

“That one.” Isak nodded in the direction of a tall, blond guy with a denim jacket and green backpack. He was coming towards them, but stopped a couple of meters away from the bench they were sitting on and greeted some 3rd graders. “Denim jacket, hoodie and green backpack.” Isak whispered.

“No idea.”

“Did he go here last year?”

“Can’t say I’ve seen him before. Why?”

“Look at him. Isn’t it obvious?” Isak let out a happy sigh.

“Ehh… no. I’m not the gay guy, you are.” Jonas laughed.

“So a straight guy can’t recognize a good looking guy?”

“Well… of course, but it wasn’t that obvious.” He paused. “But I reckon he looks fine.”

“Fine? He’s not fine. He’s gorgeous. Look at that face. Those cheekbones. And don’t get me started on that fluffy hair”

One of the guys Even was talking to left and now Isak had a better view of him. He stared at him, taking all of Even in. Everything about him seemed so perfect. Suddenly Even turned his head and looked right at Isak. In a split second he felt his cheeks heating up and he turned his eyes to the right, looking at Jonas. Had Even caught him staring?

“He’s looking directly at you,” Jonas said and bumped into Isak.

“He is? Oh god! He probably wonders why I was staring at him. Jesus Christ so embarrassing.” Isak rested his eyes on his sneakers, didn’t dare to look up. “Is he still looking at me?”

“Yep”

“And now?”

“He just looked looked another way.”

Isak slowly lifted his head and discreetly glanced at Even again. Suddenly he saw Even walking towards them. Isak’s heart started to beat fast as he came closer. Even flipped out a cigarette from behind his ear, like he was some sort of magician. His hair swayed and Isak got all mesmerised by it.

“Hey, do you have a lighter? I can’t find mine and I’m desperate for a smoke.” His smile was wide and Isak noticed that his eyes narrowed as he smiled. Two big, ocean blue eyes looked directly at him and Isak couldn’t utter a single word, it’s was like he was struck by lightning and suddenly had lost his ability to speak. A silence occurred.

“Sorry, we don’t,” Jonas said. “And sorry about my friend being such a retard. He’s not always like this.” Jonas added chuckling.

“Ehh… just got lost in my own thoughts for a second. But Jonas is right, I have no lighter.” Isak’s cheek was now on fire, they burned and he felt utterly stupid for making a such fool out of himself.

“No worries.” Even laughed and walked back to his friend.  

Isak buried his face in his hand and let out a silent scream as soon as he was sure Even wouldn’t see him.

“I need him in my life,” Isak stated.

“Who? That guy?” Jonas asked.

“Yes! Did you see his eyes?” A sigh escaped Isak’s mouth as he stared in the direction of Even, who now had walked over to some guy smoking. “And those cheekbones. And the hair.”

“We’ve already commented on the fluffy hair.” Jonas chuckled.

“He’s like a blonde Elvis.”

“Blonde Elvis?”

“Yes…”

“Sounds like someone has a crush going on.”

“Don’t tell anyone, ‘k?”

“Sure. My lips are sealed. But if you’re gonna act like this every time you see him, I’m pretty sure people will figure it out.”

Jonas’ heart was happy. He had never experienced his best friend like this before. It was only six months since Isak had been outed as gay, and although he’s been on some dates he had never seen Isak so lovestruck like this. He was floating on a pink cloud just after a few minutes of knowing this guy. Everyone deserves to feel love, regardless of who you love and especially Isak since he had been through so much the last six months

Isak was not the same after those minutes in the lunch break. His mood swung like a pendulum, going from being extremely happy every time he saw Bond Elvis at school to being frustrated those days he didn’t see him at all. The lovebug had caught him real bad and Jonas worried Isak would go crazy if he didn’t got the chance to talk to him.

Two week later, Isak was still the same lovesick puppy and it had started to get on Jonas’ nerves. He was the only one knew about Isak’s crush.

“Why don’t you go over to him and say hi?”

“Uh… and then what?”

“Hmm… I dunno...”

“Worst plan ever!”

“Like what you’re doing now is so much better.” Jonas rolled his eyes.

“But, I don’t even know if he’s gay. He’s probably straight as a ruler. He doesn’t even look gay.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, bro? He doesn’t look gay? How does a gay person look?”

“Nevermind.”

“Who doesn’t look gay?” Madhi had come and overheard them.

“Blonde Elvis.”

“Blonde who?”

“They guy Isak is crushing over.” Jonas pointed in Even’s direction.

“Shhh! I told you not to tell anyone.”

“Sorry, bro. It slipped out of me. I’m quite surprised no one has figured out yet, you act like a lovesick puppy. ”

“He might be pan you know?” Madhi stated.

“Pan?” Both Isak and Jonas looked at him.

“Yes, when you swing both ways.”

“I’m pretty sure that is being bisexual.” Jonas corrected him.

“No, I think you can say pan.”

“Whatever!” Isak grunted. “Just don’t tell anyone, OK?”

**.**

The smell of fresh cinnamon buns lured Isak into Kaffebrenneriet. He simply loved cinnamon buns, especially when they were fresh out of the oven. There were one in line in front of him and while being caught up in his own thoughts, thinking about those crazy text messages his mum had sent him early in the morning, it was about how the police were out to get her and put her in jail, he didn’t see the guy behind the counter.

“Hi” the barista smiled brightly as he greeted Isak.

Isak looked up, oh my god, it was that blonde guy from school. His smile was so bright and his eyes so blue, it was impossible to stay calm. His heart suddenly raced so fast and he felt like he was levitating.

“Hi.” An awkward silence occurred.

“What can I get you?”

“Oh sorry. I’ll have one of those fresh cinnamon buns.”

“Do you want coffee with that?”

“Uh…. sure.” Isak didn’t even like coffee, but he was so put aback by seeing Even behind the counter, he didn’t really know what he was saying. A new silence was created. Even waited for him to tell him what kind of coffee he wanted, but Isak didn’t say a word.

“What kind?”

“Uhm… sorry… just...uh... normal coffee…” His answer was half a statement, half a question. Coffee was so not his domain and he knew nothing about it.

“OK. So black coffee, then.” Isak only nodded. “To go or sit here?”

“To go… no sit here!”

Oh god. Why did he have to make such a mess of himself? He must’ve looked utterly ridiculous with all the stuttering and silent moments. Isak paid for the coffee and found a place where he could steal glances of Even as he worked, and he did. He grabbed one of today's tabloids, pretending to read it, because it would be impossible to read anything when he was standing behind the counter. How could anyone be so pretty? His eyes were blue as the ocean and that fluffy hair could easily be confused with cotton candy. A few times he caught Even look back at him and he probably blushed as he looked away. In a very sneaky moment, when Even was handling a customer, he managed to take a photo of him with his cellphone. His heart rased so fast as he hit the shutter, that he had to leave shortly after.

All the way home, on the tram as the city came to life, he stared at the picture of Even and all the heavy thoughts about his mum vanished like dew before the sun.    

\---------------

**Best bud Jonas**

**13:06**

 

Omg. You won’t believe who I saw this morning!

Who? Sara?

Ugh. Nooo. Guess again.

Uhm… I dunno. Why don’t you just tell me.

I’m a bit hungover from yesterday.

Blonde Elvis <3

Where?

At Kaffebrenneriet close to school

He works there.

Ohh. So how did that go?

I was a total mess. Even ordered coffee.

But you don’t do coffee?!

Exactly...

Hahahaha. God, you got it bad!

I know. Sigh.

I secretly took a photo of him.

You what???

I knooow… but I had to. ❤❤❤

Geeeze, you really got it bad!

\----------

The following week Isak went by Kaffebrenneriet almost every day just to check if Even was there, but he wasn’t and Isak sighed out loud every time he had to leave empty handed. When the friday came, he canceled a party, saying he was tired and needed to chill, just to go to Kaffebrenneriet and have a look for him. And he was lucky. Even was there and he had to compose himself before getting in line, he couldn’t be such a mess this time.

“Hi” Even smiled brightly and his eyes narrowed as he smiled.

Shit. That was all it took for Isak to turn into a total mess again.

“Hi.”

“What do you want?”

“Um... l’ll have one of those… uh… cinnamon buns and that coffee… the normal one.” The normal one? What the fuck. Why did Even do this to him?

“One black coffee and a cinnamon bun coming up. To go or sit?”

“Sit here.”

Isak wanted to sit at the same spot as last saturday, but it was taken so he had to find another table and the view wasn’t as good. He sighed as he sat down. Once again he pretended to read the newspaper in front of him.

Sitting there, he contemplated if he should go back the next day or not. It wasn’t enough the few times he saw him at school, he needed more. It would probably be a bit weird if he came back so soon, but how could he not? Maybe he could bring Noora on sunday? Then it wouldn’t be so obvious that he was stalking him. But if he brought Noora, he might think he was dating her and he didn’t want that. Maybe Jonas then? He made a mental note to ask Jonas to join him.

Sunday came and Isak had stayed in bed almost all day, trying to recover from a terrible night with heavy nightmares and little sleep. His head had been hurting, it had felt like someone was smashing his head against a brick wall repeatedly for hours. Jonas had a family dinner to attend, so when he sat on the tram he was alone. The weather had decided to mirror his head today, dark skies had rolled over Oslo creating a massive downpour and heavy thunder and lightning. Isak had been so absorbed in his own thoughts, he had forgot his umbrella and even though the tram stop was just on the other side of the street of the coffee shop, he was soaking wet when he got inside.  

The coffee shop was nearly empty, probably because of the bad weather. Who braved themselves out in this downpour? A boy with a huge crush.

“Hi!” Isak wasn’t sure, but Even seemed happy to see him. He smiled with his usual smile and his eyes narrowed as always.

“Hi.” he smiled back.

“Black coffee and a cinnamon bun, sitting here?”

“Uh…yes.” Isak instantly felt his cheeks turning red. Wow. He remembered what he wanted! He tried his best to combust himself and figure out something smart to say.

“You remembered my order from last time. I’m impressed.”

“I’m good like that.”

“Are you a bit like Magnus Carlsen? Do you remember what everyone orders?”

“Only what my best customers order.” Even said smiling and Isak’s heart nearly skipped a beat. “Are you always going to coffee bars by yourself?”  He was laughing now.

“Uhm… no, I’m not.” Yes you are, you stupid lovefool,  he thought to himself. “My best friend bailed on me, he had a family dinner to attend to.”

“And he calls himself a best friend? Choosing a family dinner over you and my awesome coffee.”

“I know, it’s bad right?” Even nodded.

“But still you came here?”

“I can’t get enough of those cinnamon buns. They are like a drug. You eat one and then you can’t stop.”

Cinnamon buns, yeah, they were good, but they were not nearly as good as Even. His thrilling laughter intoxicated him and those eyes, he just couldn’t get enough of them and they narrowed even more when he laughed. How could he be so smitten by someone he barely knew?

“Excuse me, are you two gonna chat for much longer or can I order a mocca to go?”

“Oh sorry,” they said simultaneously.

“You owe me a coke!” Even laughed.

Omg. Did he just said _you owe me a coke_? He hadn’t heard that expression in years.

“Shit! Shit! I’ve forgot my wallet.”

“Then this is on the house.” Even pushed the coffee and bun in Isak’s direction.

“No!”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very sure.”

Isak braved himself and found a table close to the counter now, feeling utterly stupid. How could he forget his wallet? He took a sip of the coffee and had to concentrate real hard not to make a funny face, coffee tasted horrible.

“So, do you live around here?” Isak looked up from his phone and scanned the coffee shop, wondering who he was talking to. It was only four people there now and three of them sat at a table at the other side of the counter. “I was talking to you, yes.”

“Oh…” he took out the earplug of his left ear and shut off the music he was listening to. “No, Fredensborg.”

“Then we’re practically neighbours. I live at Grünerløkka. So what are you doing on this side of town?”

“Visiting a friend.”

“The one who bailed on you?”

“No, another one.”

Even came up from behind the counter and walked past Isak to clean a few tables. He put a few coffee cups and plates on a try, then wiped off cake crumbles and some spilled coffee from one of the tables.

“What kind of music are you listening to? I saw the earplugs.”

“I’m a pretty big N.W.A. fan. It’s the kind of music I listen to when I want to walk around town feeling tough.”

“N.W.A. is good. Ever listened to NAS?”

“Nas. Naaas?”

“Have you heard them?”

“Sure, I have.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.” Even laughed out loud and Isak couldn’t help but blush.

“Fuck it, I have.”

Eight asian tourists came into the coffee shop, so Even had to rush back behind the counter to expedite them. Isak watched him as he served coffee and handed out pastry to the happy tourists. It was fun seeing him speak english, he was quite good.

After finishing his pastry and having forced down half the coffee, he didn’t quite know what to do. He didn’t want to leave, he could sit there all day just watch Even work, but he knew he had to leave before things got too awkward and obvious.

“I’ll come back and pay you next time,” he said as he put on his wet jacket.

“No need to.”

“I insist. I won’t be able to sleep if I’m indebted to Kaffebrenneriet. ”

“OK.” Even chuckled.

“When are you working?”

“Why?”

“I want to give the money to you. It would be awkward to give it to someone else.”

“Oh ok. I’m working next thursday and sunday, it’s only a few hours after school’s done on thursday and sunday afternoon.“

“OK. I’ll stop by on thursday.”

“OK.”

Isak’s heart beat so fast as he walked out of the coffee shop. His stomach filled up with butterflies and even though the rain was still pouring down, he didn’t mind. For the first time in forever he felt genuinely happy. He was only going to meet Even and give him some money, but it felt like he’d been asked out on a date. If only this feeling could last.

**.**

Thursday finally came and Isak was happy he was back at school. The last three days, he’d been bedridden with a stomach flu and it had been awful. At one point he had worried he wouldn’t be able to meet Blond Elvis at Kaffebrenneriet as planned, but luckily he felt fine.

The coffee shop was busy that thursday afternoon. The sun was shining and even though the air was a bit chilly, the seats outside was filled up with people. Jonas stood right inside the door as Isak made his way to the counter, searching for Even. But no blond guy looking like Elvis was to be seen. Isak swept the room with his eyes, trying to locate him, but he was clearly missing in action. A loud sigh escaped his mouth as he walked back to Jonas.

“I can’t find him anywhere.”

“It was today he was working, right?”

“Yes.”

“Sure you didn’t mix up the days?”

“Yes.. or uhm… I don’t think I did, but suddenly I’m not so sure... “

“You wanna wait to see if he turns up?”

“Yeah, let’s sit down and wait for a while.”

**\-------**

**The Squad**

**16:45**

 

Mags: What’s up? Any partypeople here?

Madhi: yes, bro! What’s up?

Mags: home alone tomorrow. I’m throwing a party. Who’s in?

Madhi: Bro! I’m in!

Mags: Jonas? Isak?

Jonas: badass, I’m in.

I might just chill at home.

Mags: dude, you’re coming!

Jonas: yes, you are. No moping around at home.

Mags: it’s gonna be lit. I’ll invite the girl-squad and Erik.

Madhi: oooh. Ask Erik if he can bring those girls he brought last time.

Mags: Sure!

\-------

 

 


	3. The Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't forgotten about this story either. It just take some time to upload, because I write on multiple stories at once *ahem* and this one isn't finished and I wonder when I will.... so I'm stalling with the chapters. Bare with me. Hope you like it and feel free to leave a comment. I'm dieing to know what you think, this being the very first EVAK story I've written. I'll stop ranting now and let you read. Enjoy :-) <3

\-------

**Eskild**

**19.17**

  
  


Did you remember to buy beer?

Fuck, I forgot! 

WTF ESKILD!!!

Sorry, baby-bean. I got caught up with Jean-Claude...

Do it now?

Can’t. On my way to work.

\-------

_Fuck!_ Isak let out a big sigh. What the fuck was he going to do now? Not only was he late to the party, he couldn’t come empty handed as well. Maybe he could he could bribe Linn to buy a six-pack for him? 

As he walked towards the tram at Birkelunden, he spotted someone sitting at a bench nearby. Omg, was it Blond Elvis? Getting closer he saw the fluffy hair and it was not to be mistaken, it was Blond Elvis. 

“Hi.”

“Oh.. hi.”

“I missed you yesterday.”

“Oh. Sorry. I switched days with a colleague.”

“It’s fine. I was in a hurry anyway. I’ll swing by another day. So… any plans for tonight? Partying?”

“Uhm…” Even hesitated, his eyes changed as Isak looked at him. “Not yet. I might just...”

“Ay, you’re 18 right?” he interrupted.  “I’m short on beer and my roommate forgot to buy and I’m going to a party now. Maybe you can get some? If that’s not too much to ask for?” Isak was desperate for beer and didn’t think about the fact that he cut him off mid sentence. 

“Sure!”

“Thanks!”

They walked in silence to the nearest KIWI and Even bought him 6 cans of beer and outside the grocery store, Isak thanked him for saving the day and they parted. Walking away, Isak felt bad for leaving Even. He couldn’t pinpoint it, but he felt something was off with him. The way he had reacted when he had asked him about his plans for the evening, it was like he didn’t want to answer. His eyes had expressed something, was it sadness? And why was he sitting at a bench all by himself on a friday evening? Maybe he should invite him to the party? He was sure Magnus wouldn’t mind one more guest. Isak’s heart rased like a high speed train as he turned around to see if Even was still there and he was, sitting at the same bench staring out in the air. 

“Ay, barista boy!” Even lifted his head, looking in Isak’s direction. “You wanna join me?”

“Join you?”

“Yes, to the party.” 

“I dunno.”

“If you don’t have any plans… it will be fun.”

“Where?”

“My friend Magnus’ place. It’s close to KB. Niels Juels gate. It will be some friends of mine and some girls.”

“I dunno…” 

“Please come.”

“Will it be OK that you bring me?

“Of course, he won’t mind.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes!” 

“OK!” 

Even lit up and his ‘OK’ made Isak’s heart to skip a beat. He had to collect himself not to let out a happy squeal. They went back into the grocery store and bought some more beer, before heading to the tram stop. Tram number twelve came shortly after, it was crowded so they didn’t get any seats. They stood in silence for awhile, it felt like no one knew exactly what to say. 

Suddenly Even picked up his phone and connected his Spotify. 

“Listen to this.” He untangled his earbuds and gave one to Isak so he could listen. The earbuds wasn’t that long, so Even had to step closer to Isak. “This is Nas. The song is called the Message. Really good song.”

“Mhm”

 

**.**

 

“Hi, this is….” A silence rose.

“Blond Elvis.” Madhi pointed at Even and smiled.

“Huh?” Even looked at Madhi questionly. Isak shot him a stare, he didn’t want Even to know he’d given him a nickname.

“Nevermind” Madhi replied. “I’m Madhi by the way.”

“Hi.”

“Who’s this?” Mags came by, he’d been at the toilet when Isak and Even came. “Finally you came. I got worried you’d end up home to chill. 

“This is…” Isak started again, but had to stop. He had no idea what his name was. 

“I’m Even.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh my god, Mags! Think before you speak!” Jonas complained, rolling his eyes.

“I mean who are you with?” Magnus explained.

“I'm with…” he paused. “With him,” he points at Isak. 

“And you don't know his name?” Magnus laughed. 

“Eh…” Even blushed, not knowing what to say. Isak saw something in Even's eyes, he looked scared and he couldn't blame him, he was surrounded by lots of his friends. Isak leaned over and whispered into Even's ear, and his lips unintendedly touched his earlobe.  _ I'm Isak _ . His body flinched for a split second, nobody saw it, but Isak could feel it. 

“It's Isak.”

“And how do you know each other?” Isak hadn't told Magnus about this crush, only Jonas and Madhi knew. Jonas he had told in confidence and Madh had found out by a mistake. “I'm his personal barista”, Even laughed nervously, I work at KB.”

“But you don't even like coffee?” 

“You don't?” Even asked surprised.

Before Isak got got the chance to come up with an answer to that question, a girl grabbed Even’s arm and forced him into a slow dance. Isak let out a relieved sigh. Seconds later a girl named Emma forced him out on the dance floor too. Isak wasn’t much of a dancer, he wasn’t comfortable at the dance floor, but with this slow dance he could compose himself and try to figure out what to do next. 

Both engaged in the slow dance, but neither of them seemed very engaged in their dance partner. Even wrapped his arms around the girl’s neck, their heads tilted against each other, but Even’s eyes were set on Isak. Isak could feel his stare and those ocean blue eyes made his knees weak, his legs felt like spaghetti and if he let go of Emma, he would fall onto the floor right away. He fixed his eyes on Even and didn’t let go until the song ended. His heart rased so fast, it felt like it was about to pop out of his chest. Isak went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge, he needed to cool down. Ten seconds later half of his beer was gone. Maybe it would be easier if he was a bit tipsy? 

“Thirsty?” Even laughed.

“Uh… yeah.” Can I get you one?

“Yes, please.” 

Suddenly Jonas came into the kitchen for another beer.

“What’s up with the DJ? Slow songs this early?” He rolled his eyes. “But you two didn’t seem to mind.”

“I got forced onto the floor” Even defended himself. 

“So did I!” Isak said. 

“Yeah, right”

“It’s true!” Isak and Even said simultaneously. 

“You owe me a coke!” Even pointed at Isak. 

_ Oh my god, that expression again!  _

“You owe me a coke?” Isak laughed. “I haven’t heard that in years. Well apart from last weekend though at KB. He instantly regretted what he’d just said. 

“Well… you still owe me one. Hah!” The smirk on his face made Isak weak in his knees again. 

“Oh my god, what is this music?” Someone had put on the song Jovial by Freddie Kalas. Jonas was apparently not finished discussing the music of the evening. Magnus and Madhi had come into the kitchen now. “When I go to a party I wanna listen to 90ies old school hip hop, something like Nate Dogg or shit like that.”

“Yes! Nate Dogg, man!” Madhi agreed. 

“But these songs gets the girls pumped!” Magnus argued. 

“So what kind of music do you want to hear Even?”

“Nas is good. Illuminati is awesome.”

“Yes! Nas is good.” Jonas nodded.

“And Cypress Hill.”

“Not bad either. We have someone here with a good taste in music, thank god,” Jonas exclaimed. 

“What about you Isak? If you had ten seconds, which song with you put on? Apart from N.W.A, that we’ve already established you like.” Isak didn’t respond, he had trouble following the conversation. All he could think about was Even’s moving lips and how he wanted to kiss them, suck on his lower lip. 

“Isak?” Madhi nudged him to get a reaction. 

“Huh?”

“Where were you? You zoned out, what were you thinking about?” Madhi continued. 

“Lips…” the word slipped out of him unintentionally. 

“Lips?” They all laughed and Isak had to blush. “Nevermind me. I need another beer.” Isak turned around and stuck his head into the fridge, trying to cool off for a second. “Anyone want one?”

“Yes” they all said, almost simultaneously. Isak handed out beer to everyone and as he was about to give Even his bottle, their hands touched and Isak flinched again, and it felt like he had been struck by lightning. 

Isak had been on dates after he was forced out of the closet, some was set up by his roommate Eskild and a few guys he’d met at some gay bar. Nothing good had come out of any of those dates. Either they had been totally uninteresting to him or he had backed out when they wanted more than kissing. That dark evening at London, the gay bar where Tom had caught him, had left scars that wasn’t healed yet. Whenever someone wanted to be intimate, he backed out because all the bad images came back. They were so vivid in front of him and it was hard to push them away. 

With Even it was different. Even the slightest touch, set him on fire like no one else had done before. Just being in his presence did things to him and it was hard to keep composed around him. 

They all stayed in the kitchen discussing music, exchanging songs they thought were good. Isak tried his best to contribute to the conversation, but it was hard. When the fifth shitty song blasted over the stereo, Jonas had had it. 

“Fuck this shit, we need another DJ. This is unbearable.” Everyone laughed. Someone had put on a song by Tix and the Pøssy Project. 

“Even, can’t you find one of those Nas songs?” Jonas asked. 

“Sure. Where’s the music?”

“I’ll show you.” Magnus tapped Even on the shoulder. Madhi followed right after, he wanted to hook up with one of the girls Erik had brought. 

“So… how’s things going?” Jonas looked at Isak. “And how the hell did you end up bringing Even?”

“I saw him on the way to the tram. Eskild forgot to buy me beer so when we said hi I figured Even must be 18 and I thought he could help out. He didn’t have any plans, so I asked him to join me.”

“Like, yo, do you wanna join me to a party? Straight up like that?”

“Yeah. Straight up like that.”

“Whoa, bro, what happened to you?”

“20 seconds of extreme courage...” Isak laughed. “But now… good lord, I’m so fucked up!”

“I can see that.”

“Yeah. I have trouble being composed.”

“Hahaha. You got it real bad.”

Isak emptied his fourth beer and opened a new one. 

“Easy on the beer bro, don’t end up like last time will you?”

“Haha. I won’t.”

“Go talk to him!” Jonas ushered him out of the kitchen, before grabbing a new beer for himself. 

As Isak came into the living room again, he saw Even standing by the computer with Magnus and Madhi, and they were looking at Spotify. The same girl who had danced with him tried to get his attention, but Even didn’t seem keen. He politely turned down another dance and it filled Isak with hope. The way Even had looked at him while they were both on the dancefloor, he had felt there was something in the air. Could it really be true? Was Even into boys? Just the thought of the possibility that there was a chance that there could be something between them in the future, put a huge smile on Isak. 

“What are you grinning about?” Mags asked as he walked past Isak, on his way to the kitchen. “You look like fool in love, who are you staring at?” Erik was now talking to Even, apparently he had something to say about the music he’d put on. “Oh my god, is it Erik?!”

“Bro, it’s not Erik. And I’m not staring at someone like a lovefool.”

“Uhm… whatever!”

Isak walked over to the bathroom. Five beers took its toll and he needed to relieve pressure. Holding on to his beer he opened the bathroom door, walked in but forgot to lock the door. As he had finished up, Even walked in. 

“Oh sorry!”

“Hi” Isak smiled nervously. “You need to go?” Even didn’t say anything, just searched his pocket and pulled up a joint.

“I got this.”

“Oy.”

“You want?” Even raised his eyebrows. 

“Sure. Close the door.” Even closed the door and lit up the joint, inhaled and passed it on to Isak. There wasn’t really anywhere to sit in the bathroom, so Isak ended up placing himself in the bathtub. Even placed himself next to him, so close that their bodies touched each other and Isak wondered if it was intentionally or not. 

As they sat in the tub smoking and talking, a Cypress Hills song banged from the living room.

_ Pick it, pack it _ __  
_ Fire it up, come along _ __  
_ And take a hit from the bong _ __  
_ Put the blunt down just for a second _ __  
_ Don't get me wrong it's not a new method _ _  
_ __ Inhale, exhale.

Had Even orchestrated everything, Isak thought to himself as he exhaled the joint. The song fitted perfectly. Did he saw him going to the toilet and followed him without him noticing, only to be able to talk to him and smoke weed in the bathroom? The thought made him warm hearted and in a split second, courage came to him again and he asked Even.

“Was this your plan? Wait until I had finished peeing, then put this song on and offer me a joint? Only so we two could have a joint in the bathtub together?” His heart beat so fast and he didn’t dare to look at Even as he spoke. A silence occurred and Even looked at the joint as he inhaled.  

“What if, was it a good or bad move?” Some of the fear was back in Even’s eyes, like he was worried what the answer would be. 

“A good one.” Isak briefly looked at Even, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not. 

“Ok.” he replied. A tiny smile revealed, but it was only visible if you paid close attention and even though Isak was pretty intoxicated by alcohol he noticed the little contraction in his mouth.  

“About that coffee. Do you really like it?”

“Eh…” Isak blushed. “Not really.” 

“Why are you buying it then?”

Isak wanted to tell him it was because of him. Because of his blue eyes, how the narrowed when he laughed, because of his fluffy hair. He wanted to play with the hair in the back of his head as he sucked on his lower lip. There wasn’t a thing he hadn’t imagined doing with Even. But he didn’t dare, in case the mutual attraction he thought was there wasn’t, he wanted to keep the dream alive a bit longer. He wasn’t ready to get his heart broken. 

“I’m trying to learn how to drink coffee. Everyone says I need to start drink it. It’s practical and it wakes you up in the morning.”

“Mmmhm. So that’s the reason…”

“You don’t believe me, huh?”

“Of course I do.” Even laughed, but didn’t sound very convincing. 

“You hoped for something else? Like that I came because of your extremely good looks?” 

Isak laughed nervously as he inhaled once more, feeling the room spinning around. Even looked at him for a brief moment before resting his eyes on his feet. “If I did, would that be a good or a bad thing?” Isak closed his eyes and instantly regretted his question. A silence arose and he worried he had scared him. A tie knot in his stomach.  _ Please say something. Anything!  _ His question lingered in the air for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality it wasn’t more like 10 seconds, 15 tops. 

“Good.” Even’s word was barely audible. 

The moment got ruined by the door being opened, it was Jonas who burst inside. 

“So this is where you are!”

“Yeah. We’re chilling in the tub.” Isak giggled.

“With a joint I see.”

“You want some?” Even asked. It was resting between his fingers.

“Nah. I’m good. I’ll let you enjoy it in private.” Jonas nodded towards Isak, barely visible, as a silent approval of the situation. 

“I’m offended you don’t like my coffee by the way.” Even said and broke the silence.

“If there is any consolation, I don’t like any coffee. So it’s not you who and your coffee skills that are the problem.” 

“Not much of a consolation, sorry.” He laughed.

“I just have to keep coming then, don’t I? Eventually I hopefully will fall in love with you… uh… I mean your coffee.” 

In a split second he turned red as a tomato. His heart beat twice as fast as normal and not even another inhale of that joint could calm him down now. He prayed someone would come at the door, to easy up the tension lingering in the air, but no one came. 

“Yes, you do.”

The music had stopped in the living room and there seemed to be some trouble with the computer. Isak needed to focus on something else, or else he would burst.  

“Can I play you a song?”

“Sure.”

“Give me your phone. I think I left mine in the kitchen.” Even gave him his phone after unlocking it. Isak opened up Spotify and searched for his favorite N.W.A song.

_ I don't drink brass monkey, like the beat funky _

_ Nickname Eazy-E, yo' 8 ball junkie _

_ Bass drum kicking to show my shit _

_ Rap a hole in my dick, boy, I don't quit _

“N.W.A.”

“So this is what you listen to when you want to feel tough?”

“Yeah. My fav song.”

While holding his phone, Isak typed in his own phone number and pressed dial. Seconds later he pushed stop. His hands were all sweaty, but at least he had his number now.

Even’s phone beeped and Isak flinched by the sound. He looked at the display before he gave Even back his phone, the name Anton showed up and Isak wondered who it was. Probably some friend of him. Isak studied his face as he read the message and then eyed his watch. Even mumbled something to himself, before he replied. 

“Looks like I’m working tomorrow again.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. My colleague Anton couldn’t work and now he wants me to cover for him. The evening shift.”

 

**.**

 

The room was spinning and Isak didn’t know what to do with himself. The bed was messy and he had placed himself on top of the duvet, trying to make sense of the evening. After Even had left the party, earlier than Isak had hoped for because he had work, he had a conversation with Jonas in the bathtub, just as he’d had with Even. Maybe Jonas could help him clear out the mess in his head, but neither of them got any wiser after discussing  _ Case Even _ . 

  
His fingers trailed the screen of his phone and his urge to write Even was strong, but he didn’t know what to write to not to sound weird or to look like a damn stalker. Never ever had he experienced this before, being so smitten by someone and it drove him crazy. Especially since he had no clue what Even thought about him. When he had left the party, he had been so casual. There wasn’t any promises about  _ seeing you soon _ or anything, just a  _ maybe i’ll see ya at school on monday _ . He didn’t even ask for his phone number. And it wasn’t even certain they would see each other on monday either. Even was a year older after all and they didn’t even have classes in the same building.  


	4. Head over heals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter four! woho. Things are (finally) happening in the EVAK department. I hope you like this :-)  
> I'll try not to wait too long with the next chapter, I promise! 
> 
> Thansk for reading <3  
> \---  
> PS. Whoops, I think I managed to delete this chapter while cleaning up on my story last week. :( Well, here is chapter four at least if you haven't read it.

Isak sighed as facebook said 0 results after he’d searched for Even. Even Bech Nesheim. He liked his name, but the fact that nothing showed up when he searched for him on both Facebook, Twitter and Instagram annoyed him. He wanted to know everything there was to know about him, but Internet showed no mercy. It was like he was avoiding social media altogether and it made him wonder why. Didn’t everyone have a facebook account these days? Isak felt like it was getting a social security number. 

 

“Hey, baby bean. What are  you up to?” Eskild entered his room without knocking again and it annoyed the hell out of him. 

“Can you please knock?”

“Baby bean, are you hiding something?”

“No.” Isak closed his laptop. 

“You’ve been so dreamy the last weeks, there must be something. Are you out fishing and did you caught a hunk? Oh la la. Is baby bean in love?”

“No, Eskild.” Isak didn’t want to tell anything about Even to Eskild because he knew how he would react. He would be all over him with questions and so-called love advices. Like he needed any from a guy who could not keep a boy for more than three weeks at the time.  _ Thanks, but no thanks. _

“You know I’m your love-guru, right?”

“No,  Eskild,” he repeated. “Now can you leave me alone? Don’t you have some party to go to?”

“Your love-guru is going to see Jean-Claude in twenty minutes and then we’re gonna rock London so hard. You wanna join us? I know someone in my squad would find you adorable.”

“No, thanks. Bye Eskild.”

“Bye, baby bean.”

 

Isak rolled his eyes and sighed as Eskild left the room. Eskild was a good roommate, but sometimes he was a bit too much. 

 

Searching for Even Beck Nesheim in google didn’t give him any satisfying hits, he only turned up with a number and address in the Yellow Pages. Isak tossed the laptop to the other side of the bed and let out a loud sigh in dismay. 

 

He picked up his phone and stared at Even’s phone number for the longest of time. It was now soon 8 in the evening and if the opening hours at kaffebrenneriet.no was right, his shift would’ve ended two hours ago. If he was lucky, maybe he would catch him before he went out to party or to be with friends.

Ten minutes later, he had started, erased and rewritten the same sentence more than twenty times. What should he write him? 

\-----------

**Even**

**20.11**

 

Hi! I just wanted to say thank you for yesterday. 

It was fun hanging out with you. I hope you survived your working shift.

 

\---------

 

Minutes past and nothing happened. Isak checked his phone every other minute, but no reply showed on the screen. A little desperate, he searched for his name on the internet again, maybe he had missed something the first time? 

Suddenly his phone beeped. Isak jumped in bed, lost his phone when he tried to reach for it, so it slid onto the floor. The disappointment was big when he saw it only was a message from Jonas.

\-------

**Best bud Jonas**

**20.23**

 

Bro, what’s up?

Nothing much, just chilling in bed.

Fifa at my place? I got pizza.

Sure, why not. 

Nais. See you soon. 

‘K. Bye.

\-------

 

Isak sighed as he got out of bed. Maybe it would be nice to get some distraction from Even and his phone? It didn’t look like Even was going to reply him anyways. 

A half full 31-bus stopped at the bus station and just as Isak entered his phone beeped. 

\-------

**Even ❤**

**20:53**

 

Hi :) Thank you. It was fun.

And yes, I did survive work today. 

You survived, good! 

My friends didn’t scare you? Mags have a tendency to talk before thinking. lol

No worries. They were cool. 

Oh good :)

How did you get my number btw?

Uh… from your phone…

Ok.

What’s the name of that hip hop playlist you had on Spotify?

[ https://open.spotify.com/user/evenbnesheim/playlist/6kP2w3trWPO2zzeDSe5xle ](https://open.spotify.com/user/evenbnesheim/playlist/6kP2w3trWPO2zzeDSe5xle)

Tnx.

Hahahah.

Sounds exhausting. I’ll rather walk around high. That joint you had…

What about it?

Let’s just say I wouldn’t mind one more :)

I got more… 

Inhale, exhale…

Exactly.

\-------

 

Suddenly the phone rang and Isak was ripped out of his dreamlike state. It was Jonas. 

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Uh…” Isak looked out of the bus window. “Uhm… I’m not sure.”

“What? You’re not sure?”

_ Next stop is Bjerke.  _

“Fuck, I missed my stop. I’m at Bjerke. Sorry, bro.”

“Jesus Christ. What happened?” 

“Even wrote me… I got caught up in a conversation. Sorry.”

“Ahahaha. I see. You lovesick fool!”

“I’m off the bus now, hopefully the bus back will be here soon. I’ll pay attention now.”

“You better, bro.”

Isak stared at the phone as he waited for the bus to turn up. He wanted to write something more to Even, but he had no idea what to write. Every idea that turned up in his head got discarded seconds later as either stupid or lame.

**.**

 

The air was chilly and the strong wind took hold of Isak’s umbrella and twisted it. It was useless to keep it open, so he shut it and ran to the tram not to get too wet. His purple cap prevented his hair from getting wet.   

The city passed by as Isak drove from the east side of Oslo to the west. The tram was half full, it seemed like everyone was inside, hiding from the bad september weather. Even’s hip hop playlist kept him company as he tried to figure out what to say when he met him. He eyed the clock, it was only 40 minutes until Kaffebrenneriet would close, but the timing was perfect. If he came close to closing time, the coffee shop would hopefully be nearly empty and he had a chance to have Even for himself. Not that he had any idea what so ever on how to use that alone time with him. What to say and how to act?

As he ran across the street, a taxi passed him in high speed. The car hit a water puddle and sprayed water at him. As he wasn’t wet enough. Isak flipped his finger and yelled at the taxi as he drove away.  _ Fuck you, asshole! _

Even was alone in the coffee shop. He stood with his back to the door and cleaned some tables when Isak walked inside. Isak walked slowly up to him and placed his hand on his shoulder, gently tapping it. Even abruptly turned around. 

“Hi!” Even’s smile was wide and Isak felt he could faint any second. 

“Hi,” he smiled back. “I’m here to pay off my debt.” 

“You didn’t really have to.”

“Well… I imagined a poster on every KB shop in town with a picture of me and a text, uhm.. something like… ‘Isak Valtersen wanted, dead or alive, did not pay his coffee & cinnamon bun debt. Reward 2000 NOK”. He laughed nervously.

“It’s not an epic love story if no one dies.” Even mumbled.

“What?” Did Even say what he thought he said?

“Nothing.” Even blushed. “I think the big boss would go easy on you. If not, I would’ve put in a good word on your behalf.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.”

Even finished washing the last few tables, before going back to the counter and to receive the money from Isak. 

“Eh… new visa, new pin,” Isak excused himself when he entered the wrong pin code. It was a lie, he was just nervous. 

“Happens all the time.” 

“Uhm… you don’t happen to have one of those cinnamon buns left, do you?” 

“As a matter of fact, I do. One left.”

The glass case displaying all the baked goods and baguettes they were selling, was nearly empty. Only a few cookies, two pieces of carrot cake and one cinnamon bun. Isak let out a YAY as he saw the single cinnamon bun placed on a tray and he told Even it had to be faith that it was not bought yet. What he didn’t know, was that Even had saved it for him, carefully placed it on a tiny plate behind the counter, hoping Isak would remember to come by so he could give it to him.

“No coffee this time. How much for the bun?”

“It’s on me.”

“What?”

“Yes. It’s like 5 minutes to closing time. It had gone into the trash anyway.”

“So you don’t eat all the leftovers when they workday is over?”

“Haha. No. Not all, but sometimes I do eat something while closing off and counting all the money. Depends on what’s left.” 

“Sit here or to go?” 

“Uhm…” Isak eyed his watch. The clock had already turned 6, so the shop was really closing. “Well, it’s past opening hours, so maybe I’ll just bring it?” 

“You can stay if you want. I have to close off here, it takes only 15 minutes.”

“You don’t mind some company?”

“Not at all!” Even lit up. 

“Cool”

Isak ate the bun as Even closed up the the coffee shop. He followed every move he made from a chair close to the counter, thinking he could sit and watch him work all day. Even hummed on a tune, but Isak couldn’t figure out what song it was. 

“All done!”

“That was fast.”

“I’m a natural talent.”

“You sure is.”

Isak and Even walked out of the coffee shop and Even closed the door. They looked at each other, then down at their own shoes not saying anything. Even kicked a stone on the ground and it hit one of the chair close to the door.  

“Are you…” they both said simultaneously and instantly started to laugh. 

“You owe me a coke!” Isak pointed at Even and laughed even more. “Hah! Now we’re even.”

“Shoot! I was looking forward to that coke.”

“So… you’re taking the tram home?” 

“Yes.” Even nodded. 

“Me too.”

They crossed the street and the tram came immediately. It was one of the old trams and it was almost empty. Isak let Even have the window seat and he leaned his head against the window, like he was resting. 

“Busy day?” Isak had no idea what to talk about, so he ended up asking a silly, meaningless question to not make an awkward situation. 

“Yep. Lots of traffic.” A yawn escaped his mouth. “And tomorrow we have a presentation in my english class. I’m so not ready. I hate standing in front of the class and talk.” Even sighed. 

“Your english is good at least.”

“Yeah?”

“I saw you talking to those chinese tourists last weekend and I found your english good. Way better than lots of people in my class. I have a couple and they’re horrible.” Isak shrugged. 

“Thanks. Still… it doesn’t make it any better to stand in front of the whole class.”

“Just pretend they’re not there. And I bet there are lots of people in your class that are equally as scared as you.”

“Mhm. Maybe you’re right.”

“About school. You didn’t go to Nissen last year did you?”

“No. Bakka.”

“Aha. So you transferred the last year?

“Mhm” 

“Why?”

Even got silent, looking out of the window. He rubbed his hands and it was easy to see he was uncomfortable, like he didn’t want to answer. Isak looked at him and instantly recognized his reaction. He could see himself in Even and knew all too well what it was like to get questions you weren’t ready to answer.

“I wanted a change,” was all Even said. 

“Nissen is a great school, so you’ve picked the right one.” Isak smiled and tried to ease up the situation. “As great as a school can be,” he chuckled. “Because we all know school sucks big time, right?”

“It sure does” His voice was flat, no enthusiasm behind his answer, no laughing. 

“Oh by the way, I heard a new song yesterday I want you to listen to.” Isak pulled out his phone and entangled the earbuds, they were always tied up in a knot when he was going to use them. Isak found the song and handed Even a earbud. “Here.” 

His heart started to race fast as he turned on the song, nervous about Even’s reaction. He had been listening to this song all day and all he could think about listening to it was Even. Well, he didn’t need that song to think about Even, he was in his thoughts nearly 24/7.

“Oh, it’s not a hip-hop song,” Even stated. “What an image breaker. I thought you were one of these tuff hip hop thugs.” Even shot him a look, raised his eyebrows and bumped into him with his shoulder.

“Haha. I have a soft side too. Get used to it.”

The cord to the earbuds was a bit short, so Isak scooted himself a bit closer to Even and their shoulders met. Like this they sat in silence and listened to the song. Isak glanced at Even and he couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked like he was paying closely attention to the lyrics. 

_ Waking in the white sun, lights out _

_ Wading through the days in, nights out _

_ It’s a slow cinnamon summer _

_ Your spell is pulling me under _

_ Rowing in a wooded hollow _

_ Showing me the moves to follow _

_ It’s a slow cinnamon summer _

_ Your spell is pulling me under _


	5. All in, scoring the jackpot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is not a new update, it's just me re-uploading a chapter because i messed up and and deleted chapter four :(   
> But anyhow, a real new chapter is on its way sooon. xoxo

The hallway was crowded, buzzing of teens happy the school day was over and Isak was about to leave. He was meeting up with Jonas and they were headed to Mc. Donalds to eat. The information board was filled with notes from people selling or wanting books.

“Didn’t you need that norwegian textbook?” Sana addressed Isak.

“Yeah! Still looking for it.”

“I see someone selling one. It’s some guy named Even. You might be lucky?”

“You said Even?” Isak instantly got curious “Show me!” Sana pointed at the written note pinned to the board. He looked at it and instantly saw that this was Even’s number. He had already learned it by heart.

“I’ll give it a try.” He took up his phone and took a picture of the note. “I’m heading to Mc. Donalds with Jonas, you wanna join?”

“No, thanks. I’m meeting up with Chris.”

“OK.”

Isak and Sana parted outside the school entrance and Isak headed to a nearby bench to wait for Jonas.

“Ay, Isak?”

“Yeah?” Isak turned around.

“Can I borrow your notes from the last biology class?”

“Of course. The biology-guru is always there for you, Sanasol.” He laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, Isabell.” Sana rolled her eyes. “E-mail them to me when you have time, will you?”

“I will. Remember to thank me when you get your grades back at the end of the year.”

“Haha. Sure. I’ll start on my thank you speech when I get home.”

“Looking forward to hear it.”

 

\-------

**Even**

**15.40**

 

Ay, desperate, soon broke student here…

I saw you’re selling a norwegian textbook. Sold yet? If not, I want it.

Hi :)

You should get a part time job like me.

Too lazy. Lol.

Haha.

KB is hiring you know.

They are? At your place?

No, the one in Frognerveien.

Aah. Shoot. Then I’m not interested…

and besides… working at KB would ruin my fit body 

Think about all the cinnamon buns I would eat. Lol.

Haha. Well… you eat a lot of those already it seems.

But that’s because of…

Because of what?

Nothing. Nevermind.

It’s not sold yet.

Good! You got Vipps?

Yeah.

Great.

I can bring it to school tomorrow.

Nais :) Meet me for lunch?

Sure!

 

\-------

 

“What are you grinning about?” Eva placed herself in front of Isak who was sitting on bench waiting for Jonas to come.

“Hi, Eva!” Isak looked up with a big smile on his face.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Yeah right. How long have we been friends? I know you Isak. You have been grumpy for the past six months and now you are all happy. You got stars in your eyes looking at your phone. Someone is in love.”

“Pffft”

“Is it that guy Even?”

“What?”

“Is it?”

“How do you know about Even?” Isak let out a big sigh. “Damn, Jonas! I told him not to tell anyone.”

“Sorry, it’s sort of my fault. I dragged it out of him one night we were talking. I was asking about you, because you seemed so happy and I wanted to know if he knew why. He tried to tell me he didn’t know about anything or why you were so happy, but I could tell he was lying. So I nagged until he gave in and told me. Please don’t hate on him, ok? And please forgive me?” Eva cupped Isak’s face and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Isak let out another sigh.

“Okay, but please don’t tell anyone?”

“Of course not.”

“I don’t want anyone to know. You know how people around here talk, starts rumors. I don’t need any more bullshit than I’ve already had this year.” Isak sighed again. “And I’m not even sure he likes me. Right now we’re sort of some kind of friends or I dunno- I feel like there is something between us, but it can just be all in my head you know. It’s complicated.”

“Mhm. It always is.”

“What if he doesn’t like boys at all? Ugh. I don’t even wanna think about it. I will be so heartbroken.”

“But what if he does like boys? You gotta find out.”

“That’s easier said than done. I can’t just ask him you know. Hey Even, are you gay?” Eva laughed.

“Of course not, but you could be a bit more subtle. Like ask him if he has a girlfriend?”

“I dunno-”

Suddenly Isak saw Even walking out of the door and crossing the school court. He nudged Eva and whispered.

“There he is.”

“Where?” Eva turned around looking at all the people trying to figure out who Even was.

“Jean jacket, green backpack and blonde fluffy hair.”

“Ooooh. him!” Isak only sighed. “Handsome dude.”

“You don’t say-”

“Why doesn’t he come over? He must have seen you.”

“Like I said, it’s a bit complicated.”

“Eva!” Vilde came walking towards them. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Good! Hi Isak.”

“Hi, Vilde.”

“We’re going shopping.” Eva addressed herself to Isak. “It was nice to talk.”

“Yes!” Isak rose and wrapped himself around Eva, giving her a big hug. “Thank you.”

“What was that all about?” Vilde looked at Eva as they walked away.

“Oh, just a little heart to heart.”

 

**.**

 

The Mc. Donald was crowded, but Jonas and Isak was lucky to get a table by the window. Jonas had ordered a Quarter Pounder while Isak had Chicken McNuggets. Isak was really hungry, so he devoured 4 nuggets in no time. He had hardly eaten anything yesterday, because he’d spent all day thinking about Even and the appetite wasn’t really there. Today he’d only had some cereals for breakfast and one sad piece of crisp bread with sweaty salami on top. He was supposed to buy groceries on saturday, but his mind had been preoccupied with other things, so he had forgotten. Now it was tuesday.

“Looks like someone hasn’t eaten in days.” Jonas chuckled.

“A little low on food at home. I forgot to go shopping on saturday.” Isak explained.

“But it’s tuesday today.”

“I know.” Isak let out a sigh.

“That’s how it goes when you’re in love. How’s ‘Case Even’ going? Any progress?” Isak let out another big sigh after finishing one more nugget.  

“I saw him sunday evening at KB,” he started and told Jonas everything about their meeting.

“And you haven’t talked since?”

“I texted him right before I met you. Sana saw a note on the board about someone selling book I need for the Norwegian class. It was him selling it. So then I had an excuse for contacting him. We’re meeting for lunch tomorrow.”He paused. “How do I find out if he really likes me?”

“You ask him?”

“Eeeh- no.” Isak shook his head and adjusted his cap. “Hi, Even do you like me?”

“Hmmm. Why don’t you tell him you like boys. Like casually pence the conversation in that direction. And then you see how he responds. Maybe he will tell you he like boys too.”

“I’m afraid he’s not very talkative about personal stuff. Just a hunch I got.”

“Now I got it. You need to fire up a joint together. That will make you both loosen up and I’m pretty sure you both will become more talkative, am I right?”

“That is actually the best suggestion so far. Even said he had more when I think about it. I kinda said I wouldn’t mind another one here the other day.”

“See! Now you just have to let him know you still want that joint… and take it from there.”

“If I only wasn’t so nervous and awkward around him.“

 

**.**

 

**\-------**

**Mags**

**21.36**

 

Yo!

Wazzup?

I’ve been thinking about something.

You’ve been thinking? That’s new. Lol

I’m serious. What’s up with that Even guy?

What do you mean?

Is there something between the two of you?

No

Are you sure?

No.

So you’re not sure if there is anything between the two of you?

Yes I… no… aaaahh. Fuck it!

What’s that supposed to mean, bro?

I’m not sure if there is anything between us… what’s this all about?

I just came to think about the party.

You and Even hung out alone in the bathroom for such a long time…

It made me think about the two of you.

And you just thought about all this all by yourself?

Yes.

So if I text Vilde and ask where she is and what she’s doing, she wouldn’t say she was at your place talking about me?

Well… whatever.

 

\-------

 

\-------

**The Squad**

**23.11**

 

Mags: anyone down for a party this weekend?

Madhi: always bro!

Jonas: sure thing. Eva is going to Bergen to visit some relatives, so I’m in!

Mags: Isak, I thought you could invite Even.

eh… why?

Mags: because you need this Even thing to happen.

Jonas: yas! All this what-ifs and do you think… I love you, bro. But a love-sick you can be a bit frustrating… 

Madhi: I agree!

why are you all suddenly concerned about my love life?

Mags: because everyone deserves to feel love and get loved ❤❤❤

Madhi: WTF Mags, what happened to you?

Jonas: Mags??? Lol

Mags: eh… that was Vilde!

Jonas: Vilde? Bro! Not OK!

Madhi:

Should we suspend Mags from the chat as a punishment?

Madhi: yes! Vilde has no place in this convo.

Jonas:

Mags: fuck you!

Mags: But you all ignore the fact that Vilde is right.

Jonas: if we overlook that horrible violation of this chat, I have to admit… for once Vilde is right.

Madhi: yup.

Gotta run!

Jonas: bro, you can’t run from internet.

Watch me!

_(Isak left the group the Squad)_

_(Jonas added Isak to the group the Squad)_

 

Jonas: srsly??

 

\-------

 

Isak let out a sigh. Why did everyone have to take part in his lovelife all of a sudden? First Jonas and Eva had discussed about it and now Magnus and Vilde were talking about him and Even. Vilde?! Magnus and Vilde was a cute couple and even though he liked Vilde, you couldn’t ignore the fact that Vilde was a girl that knew about all the gossip there was to know about. And Isak couldn’t trust her 100%. If she was capable of knowing everything there was to now, how to say she wouldn’t share some of what she knew. Whenever Magnus had some juicy stuff to tell and someone asked where he’d gotten that information from, he almost always said Vilde. Even though it annoyed him that everyone suddenly was so interested in Case Even, it was heartwarming to see everyone care so much, that everyone wanted the best for him.

 

.

 

Even stood right outside the cafeteria waiting for Isak. He was wearing a plum colored hoodie over a white NAS tee and a denim jacket and it was Isak’s favorite outfit on him. That color complimented his eyes so well.

“Hi!”

“Hi!”

“Are you gonna buy lunch?

“Nah, my wallet was empty after I bought that damn book.” Isak sighed. “My two crisp bread with sweaty cheese will have to do.”

“I told you you should get a job.” Even nudged him with his arm.

“And I told you I’m lazy.”

There were three people in front of them. Suddenly Isak saw fresh waffles.

“Oooh, waffles. I love waffles.”

“I thought you were more of a cinnamon bun guy?”

“I am. But these?” He pointed at the cinnamon buns. “They’re not nearly as good as yours.”

“I am flattered.”

“Is it OK if we sit outside? Maybe there is a bench available?”

“Sure.”

“I can go have a look. OK?”

“So no waffles for you?”

“Sadly no. Gotta save the last few kroner I got. See you outside.”

Isak walked outside and spotted his favorite bench being available. As he neared the bench he saw Eva was aiming for the same.

“I saw it first!” she yelled.

“No way! It’s mine.”

“The girl squad rules. We’re gonna sit here.”

“But Even and I…”

“Did I hear Even and you?”

“Yes.”

“OK. You win. The girl squad respectfully will back down. You and Even is today’s winner of the bench.” Eva held her hands up in the air, pretending she was surrendering.

“Thank you, Eva.”

“Just promise me. Ask him! OK?”

“I’ll try.”

“No trying. Just DO it!”

Eva grabbed Isak and gave him a good, long hug,whispering _good luck_ into his ear.  

“Hugging girls during lunch breaks, huh?”

“Haha. She’s just a good friend of mine. It’s Jonas’ girlfriend. You remember Jonas?”

“Hmm. The one who complained about the music, right?”

“Yes.” Isak chuckled.

“Are you seeing anyone?” Isak took a deep breath and glanced at Even. “Now that we’re talking about girls.” He put his hands in his jacked for a moment, so Even wouldn’t see he was shaking.

“Not at the moment no.” Even paused, like he was contemplating what to say. Like he was wondering if he was gonna reveal more about himself than he already had. “I split with my girlfriend 5 months ago or so.” Isak’s heart sunk and a knot tie in his belly. “But I’m so done with girls now,” he quickly added and Isak wondered if he had read his heart.

“I’m single too. 6 months now. And I’m so done with girls too. Ugh.” He gave Even a crooked smile. Even hadn’t asked, but Isak needed to get it out in the open that he didn’t have a girlfriend.

“Girls sucks, huh?”

“Tell me about it.” Isak rolled his eyes.

“Oh… I almost forgot.” Even handed him a waffle.

“For me?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to,” he said pulling up a paper plate with both strawberry- and raspberry jam and cheese. “I didn’t  know what you wanted, so I took a little bit of everything.”

“Thank you. That was kind.”

Urges welled up in Isak. He longed for those lips, letting himself get lost in a passionate kiss that lasted so long they both would gasp for air and then do it all over again. And again, and again and again. Isak was so sure that if he just could taste those lips once, he would be sold and never let him go ever again.   

“What are you thinking about?”

“You.”  The word unintentionally escaped Isak’s mouth and he instantly blushed.

“Me?”

“Yes. Five months single. That’s long for hunk like you.” Isak laughed, taking a big bite of the waffle.

“Haha. I can say the same about you.”

Isak rested his eyes on his sneakers while eating. The tension between them was strong and all he could think of was breaking it with a kiss. Why was it so hard to initiate something? But he couldn’t. At least not here, not now. They were in the school court and it was full of people who would not mind their own business. And he wanted their first kiss, it it ever would happen, to be something between the two of them, not something the whole school should know about.

Yesterday’s conversation with Jonas lingered in the back of his head. _Now you just have to let him know you still want that joint._

“Any..” _Ring! Ring!_

“Sorry I just need to take this one.”

Isak glanced at Even as he talked and his moving lips got him all mesmerized.

“Sorry.” Even put down his phone. “You were going to say?”

“Uhm.. nothing.” Isak chickened out. Suddenly his phone beeped and a text message from Jonas popped up. _I see you’re talking to Even. Have you asked him yet? If not, just DO it._ Two seconds later two more text messages came, one from Madhi and the other from Magnus and both just contained three words: Just DO it. It made him giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Even asked, looking at him with his sparkly eyes as usual.

“Oh, just some text messages I got from the boys. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Oh..  OK.” Even looked a bit puzzled.

“But….” Isak took a deep breath. “Any plans for the afternoon?”

“Nope.”

“Wanna go somewhere?”

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

“OK.” Even lit up. It was like his smile was directly linked to his heart, because every time Even smiled, his heart smiled too.

“My class ends at 14.35. You?

“I have a doctor’s appointment at 14.00, but that won’t take long.”

“I can swing by your place after school ends, like around 15 ish?”

“Sure.”

Isak’s heart filled up to the brim with emotions, almost exploding. He felt both excited and terrified at the same time. Excited to see him again, but worried at the same time.  What if things didn’t go well? What if Even didn’t fulfill his heart the way he wanted? What if Even suddenly got all casual because he finally realised he had given him mixed signals? What if Even told him he’d picked up on his signals, but couldn’t repay them?

He wasn’t sure where all the doubt suddenly came from, but it didn’t matter-- they were there and he couldn’t run from it.

The emotional rollercoaster wore him out. One minute he could be happy thinking his feelings for Even was mutual and the next his mind was filled up with worst case scenarios and agony. He needed to do something about it and maybe the boys were right? Maybe he needed that party like Mags had insisted on? And maybe a joint would help them lose up like Jonas had said and maybe something would initiate by itself? And even if worst case scenario would happen, at least he would know and knowing was better than having it the way it was now, right? Right? Isak made a mental note to ask about that joint when they met after school.

They both ate their lunch and talked about Even’s math teacher. He was such a weirdo and lots of people had complained about him, but nothing was done about it.

The bell rang, letting them know that lunch was over. Isak jumped off the bench and crumpled the napkin that had carried his waffle.

“Sooo, I’ll see you around 4 o’clock?”

“Yep.”

“Thanks again for the book.”

“That was nothing. I’m just happy to get rid of it.”

“Oh and extra thanks for the waffle!”

“Anytime.”

Throughout his math class, Isak was so unfocused. Not a single thought was paid on what his teacher said. He tried to think about was what he and Even could do, but he couldn’t come up with one single good idea. All he wanted to do was to bring Even some place no one could see them and then kiss him, first gently and then slowly more aggressively. His hands would explore every inch of his body and all the tension between them would explode into something beautiful.

All his fear about intimacy, about sex, seemed to have vanished as he sat in class daydreaming about the two of them.

 

\-------

**Even ❤**

**15:14**

I’m outside.

Why don’t you come up? I need to look for something.

OK.

\-------

 

Even let him inside and Isak’s feelings were split between being nervous and happy walking up to the third floor. Happy because he was on his way to see Even again and to see his room for the first time. The room where he lived and had all his personal belongings. He wondered how it would look like. Would it be anything like he had thought?

He was also nervous because he had no idea what they should do. He was the one who had initiated this meeting so Even probably expected him to have a plan--the fact was, he had none.

“Hi.” Even looked a little bit nervous.

“Hey.”

“Come on in.”

“Thanks.”

Isak walked in, closed the door and took off his sneakers. The hall was small and full of clothes and shoes. A poster by Paul Klee was on one of the walls.

“I’m trying to find my last joint, but I forgot where I placed it. It’s in my room somewhere. Come.”

Even led the way through the kitchen and into his room. Isak took off his backpack, placed it in the hall and followed Even.

“I wonder where I put it,” Even mumbled and started to look at the bottom of the bunkbed.

Isak swept the room with his eyes, taking it all in. The bunk bed reminded him of being 6

years old and desperately wanting one, but not getting one. A big NAS poster was hung up beside the window. The doors to his closets were covered with various drawings, cartoons and pictures and Isak walked up to it to have a closer look. What drew his attention was the drawings, some were colorful, but most of them were quite dark and Isak felt a sense of sadness looking at them. He wondered why they all were so gloomy and if they were Even’s drawing, had he felt this sad when he had drawn them?  

“Is it your drawings?” Isak asked, admiring the drawing skills.

“Yeah.”

“WOW! You’re good.”

“Thank you.”

“They instantly made me feel.”

“What?”

“They seem dark. I got a sense of sadness. Were you feeling sad when you drew them?”

“Found it!”

“Yeah?”

“Yess!”  

Isak walked over to Even’s desk to look at a picture that was framed. It had to be Even and his mum.  Above the desk was a shelf with with DVD’s and lots of them were romantic movies. Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare in love, Pretty Woman, Titanic.

“I didn’t think you were such a romantic sap,” Isak said laughing.

“Are you dissing my romantic personality?”

“Sort of-”

“If I took you out on a date, hypothetically speaking of course, you wouldn’t laugh when it was over. That’s how good I am.” Even laughed.

“And you learned that from all those romantic movies?” Isak laughed back.

“I’m a natural talent!”

“Yeah? Try me!”

Standing there he suddenly saw a drawing, half covered by a notebook and some paper, and Isak instantly froze.

“I’m just gonna go pee. Back in a few.”

“Mmm.”

Isak turned around to see if Even was out of the door, then he turned back again and carefully lifted the notebook so he could see all of the drawing. It definitely was him and after his brain slowly came back to life after having frozen for a few seconds, he realised where the picture came from. It was from a Instagram post almost a month ago. Jonas had taken that picture. He’d seen him smile while they’d been sitting on a bench close to Bislett Kebab eating, talking about Even. Jonas had taken a picture of him with Isak’s phone, joking it was one of his first smile in a very long time and that they needed to have an evidence for future references. And then he’s uploaded it to Isak’s instagram with the caption ‘see, I’m smiling again.’ Isak had meant to delete it later that evening, but forgot and it was still up there.

Seeing Even’s drawing of himself and that joking about going on a date made him dizzy. His heart raced so fast it could pop out of his chest any minute. Did Even follow him on Instagram? Why hadn’t he seen it when he googled Even? Was it a secret account with a fake name? Isak desperately wanted to find out, but knew there wouldn’t be time before Even would come back.

Isak had been so mesmerized by the drawing that it took him some time to see the text underneath the drawing. L _ike sunshine, brightening up the darkest days._

  
Happy tears left the corner of his eyes and afraid Even would see it, he faked a bad cough, making it look like that was the reason he was teary eyed.

“Bad cough,” he excused himself and dried his eyes.

“You need something to drink?”

“Maybe a glass of water?”

“OK. Join me in the kitchen.”

They walked out of Even’s room and into the kitchen. Even filled up a glass of water and even though Isak wasn’t thirsty, he drank most of it.

“Thank you.”

A note with beautiful handwriting was placed on the relatively small kitchen table alongside with a few magazines, a see-through box with a piece of cake and a two bundles of yarn.

“Fuck!” Even suddenly exclaimed after having read the note.

“What?”

“Shit! I forgot I promised mum to visit grandma and give her a few things. Is it OK that we stop by her place. It will only take a few minutes, ten max.”

“Sure, where does she live?”

“It’s close by, just a few blocks.”

They walked the way over to Even’s grandma and Isak said he would wait outside, at the bench across the street. He looked forward to a few minutes alone. As soon as Even had left, he picked up his cellphone and opened up Instagram. Was really Even following him there? He had too, he remembered thinking the photo looked silly and not something he needed to share anywhere else. Isak looked at all his followers, it wasn’t many, and tried to remember who the newest followers could be. He stopped scrolling at the account with the name Art_Vandeley and clicked on it. The account was private, had no followers and followed just a few people and one of them was him. Could this be Even?

After backtracking the accounts likes on his account, he saw that it had liked quite a few pictures, including the one he’d drawn, and almost all of them were of him. Isak’s heart beat so fast as he let all the new information he’d gathered sink in. Could it really be Even? If it wasn’t him, who could it be? Isak couldn’t think of anyone else.

Ten minutes went by and Even had yet to come back from his grandma’s apartment. Isak reconed his grandma was like his, someone who wouldn’t let him go so fast now that he had come. Someone that always had to offer him something to drink and some dry cookies or a piece of cake she’d bought at the supermarket.

 

\-------

**Sana**

**15.47**

 

Ay, did you forget to email me the biology notes?

Sry. I’ll do it now.

Thx! :)) *starting on the thank you speech*

haha.

 

\-------

 

Isak brought out his mini laptop from his backpack and opened it. He might as well send them now, so he wouldn’t forget again. Spotify automatically opened up and right before he was about to close it, he saw Even’s name on the ‘friends activity’ bar. The latest song he’d listened to was Head over Heels by Tears For Fears. Isak stared at it for the longest time, before he found his earbuds and clicked play on the song.

_I wanted to be with you alone_

_And talk about the weather_

_But traditions I can trace against the child in your face_

_Won't escape my attention_

_You keep your distance with a system of touch_

_And gentle persuasion_

_I'm lost in admiration--could I need you this much?_

_Oh you're just wasting my time_

_You're just wasting time_

_Something happens and I'm head over heels_

_I never find out till I'm head over heels_

_Something happens and I'm head over heels_

_Ah don't take my heart, don't break my heart_

_Don't don't throw it away_

_Throw it away_

_Throw it away_

Mesmerized by the lyrics he forgot all about Sana and the notes he was going to email her. While listening to the song, he clicked on Even’s profile to see what other songs he had in his playlists. The most recent playlist he had made was called _Head over heels_ and Isak clicked on it to see what was there. He scrolled the list and it wasn’t long. But that didn’t matter. What matter was that it was made a month ago and in addition to some love songs, it contained all of the songs they had shared with each other. Both Nas and N.W.A. He’d even put the song Cinnamon by Jome in it. Suddenly Isak realised, this was it. He had to initiate something!

“Isak? Isak?” Isak was all lost in his own world and didn’t notice Even until he nudged him.

“Oh,  hi!” He took out his earplugs and quickly closed his laptop. “I didn’t hear you come.”

“Sorry for being late. My grandma wouldn’t-”

“It’s OK,” he interrupted. “It’s all OK.”

His smiled widely and his heart beat so fast and heavy. Could Even see it? See how his heart beat under all the layers, under his warm skin, his white t-shirt, his favorite plaid shirt and under the jacket he recently bought trying to impress Even.

“So… what are we going to do?”

“I know what we’re going to do.” Isak stuffed his mini laptop in his backpack, then rose from the bench. “Come!”

“Where are you taking me?”

“Just wait and see. Trust me, this is going to be good.”

His heart was once again filled to the brim with emotions, but it was different now. Fear was replaced with confidence and doubt was replaced with certainty.

They walked over to Schous Plass to find the tram. Isak didn’t reveal much of his plans, just that they were going to take tram 13 towards Storo. He let Even get the window seat again when they entered the tram and Isak talked the entire way up to Storo, it was a ten minutes ride. Much of what he said was probably nonsense, but he was giddy and for some reason he couldn’t stop talking.

Ten minutes later they sat on the bus to Grefsenkollen, a hill with an amazing view over Oslo. If they were lucky, nobody would be there and they could sit on the bench overlooking Oslo all by themselves. And then the possibilities were endless. Isak played out what seemed like hundreds of different scenarios that could happen in his head. Whatever he did, he needed that kiss to happen tonight.

“So, you’re taking me to Grefsenkollen. Like out in the forest?”

“Ever been up here?”

“No.”

“You won’t regret me taking you here.”

Isak fiddled with his phone, untangling his earbuds again.

“Why are they always tangled up?” Isak sighed.

“I guess they mirror life. Always a struggle.”

“Well, then I’m gonna untangle them and play you a beautiful song. Heads up and I’m sorry if it ruins your image of me, it a soft song.”

Isak smiled and handed him an earbud. What Isak didn’t realise, was that in his encounters with Even, it was his soft side that he showed and what Even loved about him. It wasn’t easy, but he had to hold back his emotions a bit, if not it could get a bit too much. His heart was almost exploding. Never had he felt like his before.

 _Take me now, baby, here as I am_  
_Pull me close, try and understand_  
_Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe_  
_Love is a banquet on which we feed_  
  
_Come on now try and understand_  
_The way I feel when I'm in your hands_  
_Take my hand come undercover_  
_They can't hurt you now_  
_Can't hurt you now, can't hurt you now_  
  
_Because the night belongs to lovers_  
_Because the night belongs to lust_  
_Because the night belongs to lovers_  
_Because the night belongs to us_  
  
_Have I doubt when I'm alone_  
_Love is a ring, the telephone_  
_Love is an angel disguised as lust_  
_Here in our bed until the morning comes_  
  
_Come on now try and understand_  
_The way I feel under your command_  
_Take my hand as the sun descends_  
_They can't touch you now_ _  
_ Can't touch you now, can't touch you now

Isak stole glances at Even, trying to read his face as Patti Smith poured her heart out. She said everything he wanted to, but didn’t dare to say out loud. But things were going to change, he just needed to have him all by himself. Then he would express his feelings, exchange songs with kisses, with touches, with his hands in Even’s hair. Until then, a song would have to do, preparing Even’s heart for what was about to happen.

The song ended and the phone didn’t skip to a new song, so a silence was created. Even looked at Isak, then grabbed his phone and pressed play once more. A smile slowly revealed in Even’s face.

“We’re going off here.”

“OK”

They hopped off the bus and saw it take a u-turn, only to go back again. It was just the two of them there.

“So?” Even looked expectant at Isak.

“Come here. I’ll show you something.”

Isak pointed in the direction of the forest and started to walk across a parking lot. Even walked right beside him and it didn’t take long before they were walking in sync.

“Are we going into the woods?”

“Yes, but not far. Trust me.”

“You go first.”

“I’ll lead the way.”

They walked about hundred meters, then the forest opened up and a view over Oslo greeted them. The sky was blue, no clouds could be spotted in a mile and the sun was about to go down. It was quiet up there and all they could hear was the buzzing from the city beneath them and the little noise the two of them made.

“Let’s sit down.” Isak pointed at a bench placed at the edge of the hill.

“WOW”

“So do you like it?” Isak asked, hoping the view would impress him.

“Why have no one told me about this place? It’s beautiful up here. And that view? It surely is breathtaking.“

Without Even noticing, he was admiring the view, Isak silently scooted himself closer to Even. He didn’t stop until their legs bumped into each other. Even flinched and turned his head, now facing Isak. They looked into each other eyes and Isak felt the same now as he did at Madhi’s party, when they had locked their eyes at each other throughout a slow song. He was glad he was sitting, because he was unsure if his legs would’ve been able to carry him if he’d been standing.

Isak slowly leaned forward, then stopped for a few seconds to see if Even would back off, but he didn’t move an inch, so Isak leaned even closer. He leaned his forehead against Even’s and instantly felt a spark ignite. Even gasped as Isak’s skin touched his and when Isak tilted his head and slightly opened his mouth, Even did the same.

Isak took hold of Even’s lower lip and gently sucked on it before letting it go again, looking into his ocean blue eyes, seeing they were smiling. I can drown in these eyes, he thought and found Even’s lips again. Their lips met and now Even wanted to play too. They kissed, sucking each other's lips and didn’t stop until they both got startled by a barking dog behind them.

_Laika. Laaaika. Come here. Come here Laika._

The dog turned around and run into the forest again, meeting up with its owner.  

“Hi” Even said softly, like it was the first time they met. He leaned a bit backwards, admiring Isak’s facial structure.

“Hey.” Isak suddenly got all shy and blushed, creating red marks on his cheeks.

Even let his fingers trail Isak’s jawline, all the way from the bottom of his chin and up to his ear, then he gently made circles on his ear, before taking off Isak’s cap and let his hand disappear into his curls.

Now it was Even’s turn to initiate a kiss. He pulled Isak closer, so close that the tip of their noses bumped into each other. Even tilted his head, opened his mouth and invited Isak to play. They played with each other's lips for the longest time before Even slipped his tongue inside and their tongues danced around until they both were out of breath and reluctantly had to let go.

Even gasped as Isak buried his face in the arch of his neck, shooting kisses on his soft skin. Isak’s hand trailed Even’s back, from the top of his neck and all the way down to his waist, then up again. Down and up and down and up.

“I like you,” Isak suddenly said. “A lot.”

“I like you too.” Even turned his body, so all of him was facing Isak, then he grabbed his hands. “A lot.”

Their fingers entwined, played with each other and Isak couldn’t do anything but smile. They sat like that, in silence, admiring each other. Isak tried to count his own heartbeat, but it was impossible, it was beating too fast to keep up.

“Come closer.”

Even broke the silence. Isak leaned forward and soon they engaged in another passionate kiss. He could not get enough of Even’s soft, playful lips, they were like a drug. Once you've tasted them, it was impossible to let go.

“Your lips,” Isak started.

“What about them?”

“They’re better than anything.”

“Anything?”

“Yes, even better than cinnamon buns.” Isak smiled.

“Even better than my cinnamon buns?”

“Yes. I like you better.”

“So all those buns you ate at KB-”

“I didn’t really come for those. I came for you.”

“That’s what I hoped for every time you came”

Even leaned forward and kissed Isak on the nose.

“I waited for you.”

“You did?”

“Yes. Everytime the door opened I hoped it was you. So many disappointments.”

“You know, I don’t know if you remember, but after that first time I saw you at KB that sunday…”

“21 days ago, Even stated without blinking.

“Oh- “ He had counted. He knew exactly how many days it was. Isak’s heart almost exploded with happiness. “I came back every day after work hoping to see you.”

“Oh.”

“When I saw you working that following friday, I figured out you must be working weekends. I wanted to come by every day, but I had to restrain myself. Didn’t want to look like a stalker.” Isak started to laugh and soon Even was laughing too.

“What about that coffee? What _was_ that?”

“Oh god. You’re making me blush.”

And Even did. Isak’s cheeks instantly turned red and he buried his face in his hands, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Don’t.” Even took hold of Isak’s hands and pulled them away from his face. “I like your pink cheeks. It’s cute,” he said kissing the pink roses in his face.

“Cute? Oh god.” Isak rolled his eyes.

“You don't like cute?” Isak just looked at Even. “Didn't you say you had a soft side?”

“Yeah-”

“Cute is soft. Soft is cute.”

“Hmm.”

“Don’t fight it. It doesn't matter what you say anyway. You _are_ cute when you blush.”

“Whatev-.”

The word got lost in another kiss. Being cute wasn’t necessary what Isak aimed for, but he loved Even’s sweet talk, so maybe it wasn’t so bad to be cute after all.

Even felt his pocket vibrate and put his hand inside looking for his phone. Grabbing his phone, his joint fell out. Isak picked it up, thinking they didn’t need it tonight. He was high as it was, intoxicated by Even.

“Ohh. My grandma called. Is it OK that I call her back?”

“Sure.”

While Even talked to his grandma, Isak pulled up his phone to see if any had tried to reach him. He’d gotten one message from Jonas.

\-------

**Jonas**

**16:59**

Yo, what’s up?

 

\-------

 

A little later Mags had posted a funny meme in the group chat which nobody had responded to yet.

 

\-------

**The Squad**

**18:19**

 

OMG, Jonas. I’m in love!

Grefsenkollen tonight. Even + the view + his lips + hands + kissing  <3

I’ll tell you everything later.

Mags: you’re in the group chat now Iask…

Mags: but are you two ON? So he’s def gay?!

Madhi: Isak!!! You hooked up?

Jonas: finally!! :) ❤

Mags: Isak! Tell me more!!!

Mags: Isak???

Madhi: bro, relax. He’s probably deep down in Even’s throat atm.

Mags: or pants

Jonas: haha yes!

Mags: 

Madhi: lolz

 

\-------

 

“Everything is OK with your grandma?”

“Yes. She’s going on a weekend trip to Bergen. I promised to come by for dinner this weekend, but she had to reschedule.”

“You seem to have a good relationship with your grandma.”

“I do. She’s great. What about you?”

“I have one left, on my dad’s side. We’re good.”

Isak handed Even the joint.

“It fell out of your pocket.”

“Oh thanks. You want some?”

“Nah. I got all I need tonight.”

Isak took hold of Even’s hand, it was warm. He looked into his eyes while stroking it. From the corner of the eye, he saw that the sun was about to go down the horizon. Some clouds had appeared out of nowhere and now the sun was coloring them red.

“Can I play you another song?”

“Sure.”

Isak found his earbuds, this time they were not in a big knot.

_Staying out, staying out_

_You don't have to worry 'bout looking down_

_Simple as I lock the gate up_

_You let the good love out_

_Can you see into the trees_

_Holding like a wild heart disappear_

_Simple as I lock the gate up_

_You let the good love out_

_You let the good love out_

The air was getting a bit chilly as the sun descended. Isak scooted himself closer to Even, leaned his head against his shoulder and put his hand on his lap. Even looked at him, then put his arm around him pulling him even closer. Like this they sat listening to the song Isak had picked, watching the sun disappear.

The next song started immediately after the other. Isak had forgotten he had picked a song from his private love-song playlist, so Ed Sheeran’s Kiss Me started to play.

  
_Settle down with me_  
_Cover me up_  
_Cuddle me in_  
  
_Lie down with me_  
_And hold me in your arms_  
  
_And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck_  
_I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet_ _  
_ And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

“And you say I’m a romantic sap?” Even blurted out, laughing.

“Ehh… this must be Spotify playing a recommended song. I don’t know what this is.” Isak lied.

“Right! I don’t believe you,” Even stated, still laughing.

“It’s true.” Isak thought he was a good liar. The truth was, he wasn’t.   

“Let me see!”

Even janked the phone out of Isak’s hand and the earbud got ripped out of Isak’s ear. Even turned around, showed Isak his curved back, hiding the phone. Isak lay himself on top of Even, trying to grab the phone, but it was impossible to get it.

“Hah. I knew it. Love songs for Blonde Elvis.”

“Hmmfhhf.”

“Who is Blonde Elvis by the way?” Even paused and Isak climbed off his back. “Wait, where have I heard that before?”

“Ehh..”

“Didn’t that friend of yours- uhmm-  what was his name again? Magnus? didn’t he call me that?”

Isak’s cheeks turned pink again and he didn’t really knew why he found it so embarrassing to admit Even he’d nicknamed him Blonde Elvis.

“It was Madhi.”

“Why did he use that name?” Even laughed, looking at Isak.

“I gave you that name.” Isak faked a sigh. “I didn’t know your name and I needed a name for you. It was practical that way.”

“You talked about me?”

“Yes, I talked about you. Don’t get high on yourself now.” Isak rolled his eyes.

“You talked about me!”

Even took hold of Isak’s neck and pulled him closer, let his hand disappear in his curls again, stealing a kiss.     

“I’m a blonde Elvis?” His whole face lit up, eyes were sparkling. The smile on Even’s face was to die for.

“Don’t get too high on yourself, but yes.” Isak’s words almost disappeared in another kiss.

“Blonde Elvis. Whoa! I really like that.”

“Jeeze, I’m gonna rename that playlist tonight.”

“Don’t! I’m blonde Elvis now. Come here!”

Another kiss was inevitable and they played with each others lips until they both were out of breath, only to look each other in the eyes and dive into another one. Like this they sat, completely lost in each other, like the world around them didn’t exist, until it started to get dark.

“Brrr. It’s getting cold.” Isak stroke his own thighs.

“Better?” Even put his arm around Isak and put his hand on his thigh.

“A bit. Aren’t you cold?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm. Do you wanna take the bus downtown? I’m getting hungry.“

“Sure. Do you wanna grab something to eat somewhere? Bislett Kebab?”

“I’m broke.”

“They’re hiring at KB.”

“I told  you. It’s not at your KB. Then I’m not interested. And besides- I’m lazy.”

“My place then? Mum's not home until late. I can make us some grilled cheese sandwiches or something.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course.”

“Grilled cheese sandwiches sounds lovely.”

They walked in the dark to the parking lot where the bus had dropped them off. Isak eyed the time table, trying to find out when the bus back came.

“Oh fuck!”

“What?”

“Eh- the bus ain’t coming.”

“What?”

“Yeah. The last bus went like two hours ago.” Isak chuckled.

“You’re taking me up here and there’s no bus home? What kind of date is this?”

“Is this a date?” Isak looked at Even raising his eyebrows.

“Isn’t it?” Even’s smile was wide.

“Uhm… I guess it is.” Isak suddenly fumbled with the words and felt his cheeks turn pink.

“I’ll note this as a date in my diary.” Even winked.

“What? You keep a diary?” Isak exclaimed laughing.

“I may or may not keep a diary,” Even chuckled.

“Are you?”

“Who knows.”

“Oh come one, tell me.”

“Rule number 1. Don’t reveal everything on the first date.” Even smirked.

“Hmfh.” Isak rolled his eyes.

“So, how are you gonna get us back to the city? I assume you have a plan, since you initiated this date.” Even teased Isak, poking him in the side.

“We’re using our legs. It’s that kind of date. And if you’re not happy with that you can...”

“What? Walk home?” Both started to laugh.

“Yes.”  

\-------

**Sana**

**20.43**

Notes? Did you forget AGAIN? 

 

\-------

 

Back at Even’s place, Isak sat on a chair in the kitchen watching Even making grilled cheese sandwiches.

“What kind of spice do you want on it? Pepper? Caribbean Jerk? Rosemary? Cinnamon?”

“Uhmm- Caribbean Jerk sounds good.”

“So no cinnamon?”

“On a grilled cheese sandwich? I don’t think so.” Isak shook his head laughing.

While waiting for the sandwiches to be done, they sat in the kitchen talking. The new movie about Tupac ‘All Eyez on me’ quickly became a subject. Personal stuff, like family and their history never came up, it was like both of them were afraid of the questions that might come.

An hour later, Isak stood in the hall putting on his shoes. He was not ready to go home, all he wanted was more of Even, but he was less ready to potentially met Even’s mum, so it was time to leave.

“I don’t want you to go,” Even said kissing Isak with his silky lips.

“Neither do I, but I’m not ready to meet your mum,” Isak chuckled, kissing Even back. “Not yet.”

“Afraid of my mum?” Isak just rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Of course.”

“Meet me after school’s done?”

“Not sooner?” Even pouted.

“We’ll have lunch together of course.” Isak smiled. “I was just making sure I would see you _after_ school, you know. Make sure you didn’t make any plans without me. Like hanging out with someone else.”

“I would never.”

**\-------**

**Even ❤**

**22:23**

[ https://open.spotify.com/track/0VhgEqMTNZwYL1ARDLLNCX ](https://open.spotify.com/track/0VhgEqMTNZwYL1ARDLLNCX)

_You walked into the room_

_And now my heart's been stolen_

_You took me back in time to when I was unbroken_

_Now you're all I want_

_And I knew it from the very first moment_

_'Cause a light came on when I heard that song_

_And I want you to sing it again_

 

_I swear that every word you sing_

_You wrote them for me_

_Like it was a private show_

_But I know you never saw me_

_When the lights come on and I'm on my own_

_Will you be there to sing it again?_

_Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?_

_Can I be him?_

 

❤❤❤

\-------

 

\-------

**The Squad**

**22:47**

 

Mags: sooo…. what happened? Did anything happen? BJ? Spill the beans!

Jonas: we want details.

BJ? What the fuck? On our first date?

Jonas: oooh, so it was a date. ❤

Ehhh. uhm… I don’t know. Maybe… he thinks so.

We just hung out.

Mags: let me quote you:

Mags: Grefsenkollen tonight. Even + the view + his lips + hands + kissing <3

Mags: if that’s not a date, I don’t know what is.

Whatever.

Jonas: that’s a date. Tell us all about it.

Later.

\-------

 

\-------

**Jonas, best bud**

**23:01**

Can we meet tomorrow morning? Like at the bus?

sure. 8 ish?

Goodie. I’ll tell you all about tonight then.

Oh my, it was everything I could dream of and more ❤

I’m happy for you!

Need to sleep now. TTYL.

Sweet dreams.

Peace&luv

\-------

Isak let out a content sigh. He wanted to tell about the magical evening, but not to everyone, not yet.

 

\-------

**Even ❤**

**23:15**

_Even changed his avatar_

Omg. You!  (major eyerolling)

But I’m Blonde Elvis. I needed a matching photo.

Have you named me Blonde Elvis in your phone?

NO!

I love when you act embarrassed for naming me Blonde Elvis.

I’m pretty sure though, that you secretly like that I like it.

;-)

Do you?

Remember rule number one: don’t reveal everything on the first date.

 

Hahaha. Dork!

[ https://open.spotify.com/track/3YKptz29AsOlm7WAVnztBh ](https://open.spotify.com/track/3YKptz29AsOlm7WAVnztBh)

Kiss from a rose? Rly? Ugh!

You started it with that Seal pic.

Whatever.

When we’re getting married we’re gonna dance to that song because we sealed the deal. <3

Married? When!? Jesus Christ.

You don’t think we’ll get married? The Church will be pro gay marriage by the time we seal the deal.

I wasn’t thinking of

Nevermind… 

You rather want a courthouse marriage?

Stop it! <3

\-------

.

 

Isak walked down the hall with Jonas, on their way to first class of the day. Suddenly he felt a hand grabbing his shoulder and Isak abruptly turned around, hoping it was Even. He hadn’t seen him this morning. _Fuck_ he thought, when he saw it was Sana, instantly remembering he had forgotten to give her the notes again.

“I’m keeping you hostage until I get those notes.”

“I’m sorry, Sana. My mind’s been elsewhere. Let us sit down and I’ll do it now. I’ll catch up with you Jonas.”

“Ait,” Jonas nodded and walked into the classroom.

“You know, a little bird told me you’re in love. Are you?” Sana smirked.

“What?”

“Yes, a bird told me.”

“Damn Vilde!” the words unintentionally escaped his mouth.

“So are you?” Sana’s eyes widen.

“Yes.” Isak sighed.

“Hah! I never thought you would admit that!”

“Whatever.”

“It’s that new guy, right? Even from third grade?”

“Don’t tell any, will you. Please. Too many people know already.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Thank you, Sanasol.”

“You’re welcome Isabell.”


	6. Emotional Rollercoaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii readers. A *real* new chapter is up now! Sorry for messing up. I really hope you like this, even though it's a bit heavy and not all lovey dovey. Life is indeed a rollercoaster! Feel free to comment what you think. <3<3<3

“I should be going.”

“Why?”

“I promised to help mum with a few things this evening. And it’s getting late, she probably wonders where I am.” Even looked at his phone. “See. She’s called me twice.”

“You make a lot of promises.”

“And I keep them too.”

“I like that.” He paused. “Go help your mum. I don’t want to be the reason you break a promise.”

“If I’m ever gonna break a promise, I think you will be the only reason why.” Even smiled and Isak wondered if he could comprehend how much that smile meant to him.”

“Can you promise  _ me _ one thing?”

“What?”

“That I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Of course! Wanna go to the movies? There’s this movie I’ve been wanting to see.” 

“Sure. I’ll do anything as long as it involves you. It’s not a sappy love story, is it?”

“Haha. Not this one. But you said you would do anything as long as it involved me, so maybe I’ll just choose a sappy love story instead?” Even leaned forward and kissed his lips again. 

“Let me rephrase that. I’ll do anything, but a sappy love story.” Isak laughed, letting his hand run through Even’s hair. 

“Then let me rephrase. No cinema then.” Even pierced his blue eyes into his and Isak wondered if Even already knew how to get his way with him. How could he say no to those eyes?

“OK. I’ll do anything  _ include  _ a sappy love story.”

“And your place after that? Mum is having a book club tomorrow. Seven women in their early 50ies. It’s not really a book club, it’s seven women drinking wine, talking and laughing very loud. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a book on those meetings.”

“Sure.” 

Even cupped his face and took hold of his lips with his own, slipped his tongue inside and let it dance one final round before it was time to go.

They walked together to the bus stop at Rosenhoff and Isak felt like holding Even’s hand, let their fingers entwine to show everyone that Even was his at the moment, but he didn’t dare. It was probably too soon and what if Even wasn’t comfortable to be so open, so visibly engaged with another guy? A few months ago he would’ve cared, maybe even three weeks ago too, but now? Now he didn’t care if the whole world knew. 

Even kissed him one more time before they parted on the bus, not on his lips as he hoped for, it was a gentle kiss on his left cheek, light as silk, but it was ok. They had plenty of time for other kisses. This was just the beginning. 

Isak leaned his head against the window and instantly his mind started to spin. The afternoon had been nothing but magical, everything he hoped for and more and he recapped the evening in his mind. Suddenly, just like many times before, a seed of worry planted itself in his mind. And it didn’t take long for the seed to grow. It took three minutes, the exact time it took for the bus to go from Heimdalsgata where Even and Isak had parted and to Brugata where Isak were supposed to get off.

He missed his stop and before he knew it, the bus announced that the next stop was Vækerø. Riding the bus like that had been Isak’s thing when he needed to think. Whenever his head was about to explode by negativity or he needed to clear his mind, the thing he liked most, was to sit on the bus and ride until the last stop and then go back. There had been many rides like that the last years. 

Around the time when he was forced out and his parents split, it had felt like he’d spent more time on public transport than at home. His mum had been in her own, sometimes insane, world and his father had been so absorbed by his own shit and too exhausted to care about where Isak was.    

_ And your place after that.  _ The words lingered in the air, right above him and normally the words would be the sun shining, but they had turned into a dark cloud with the promise of rain. Being so intoxicated by Even the last month, he had really believed that the ghost from the past was only that, a ghost, but now, as he sat on the bus, he realised it wasn’t. 

_ And your place after that.  _ The words scared him, because he knew what was about to come. Two guys madly in love, first going to the cinema, maybe snuggle in the back at the theater missing half of the movie, then go home to his place to snuggle some more, ending up in bed, undressing and have  _ sex _ . 

_ SEX. _

The word scared Isak. It only had bad associations attached to it. That evening at London was the beginning of what ended in his world exploding in front of him.  

That night he had sex with a guy for the first time and it had been awful. And even though the experience of being taken from behind by a drunk, unknown older guy was terrible, it wasn’t that alone that made things so bad. Everything that had happened after, him being outed without being ready, his parents splitting up and his father leaving town, got tangled up in one big, dark mass that was impossible to handle. And all the feelings that dark mass generated, and they were all negative, surfaced every time he tried to be intimate with a boy. It hadn’t been that many, only a few times had he tried, but Isak hadn’t had the patient or the strength to endure it or go on until it wasn’t longer there. 

So here he sat, on the bus, afraid of what would happen after that movie Even had promised him. His heart ached, torn between wanting all of Even and being shit scared he would break down if he let Even come near.

All these thoughts made him dizzy and when he reached the end of the bus route, the bus driver came to the back where he was sitting, letting him know they had reached Snarøya and asked if he was going off or going back.  _ Going back _ , he replied embarrassed and probably red as a tomato. 

It was impossible to sort out all these thoughts all by himself. It had never worked in the past, and he had just hidden them, tucked them under a big, imaginary stone, hoping they would disappear or that the problem would solve itself, but it never did. Even was too big of a deal to tuck under a stone. 

As he approached Brugata again, he suddenly realised what he should’ve done six months ago. He should’ve talked to Jonas. His best friend. Jonas who would do anything for him and walk through fire with him. Jonas who hadn’t lifted an eyebrow when he learned Isak was gay, he had even suspected it. Jonas who would kick Tom’s ass if Isak allowed him to. Why had it always been so hard for him to share feelings, especially the negative ones? 

“Ay, Isak. What’s up?”

“Are you up?”

“Barely, why?”

“I need to talk. Can we talk?”

“I was just going to bed, early for a change, I got one foot under the duvet.”

“I’m outside.”

“Outside?” 

Jonas stepped out of bed, opened the window in his bedroom and looked down. 

“You’re actually here.”

“Yes, can we talk?”

“Is everything OK?”

“Yes.” He paused. “I’m not sure… eh.. no.”

“One moment. Just let me get dressed. I’ll be down in two.”

“Ay, what’s up?”

“Can we sit somewhere?”

“There’s a bench over there,” Jonas pointed and they walked over to the bench and sat down. Isak didn’t have the guts to look Jonas in the eye, afraid of how he would react to what he was going to say. He took a deep breath and exhaled.  

“I need to tell you something.”

“Ok…” 

“Something I should’ve told you long time ago.”

“Mmhm.” 

“You know that thing about me having been so angry and grumpy the past six months?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s sort of because of that night at London.” 

“I knew that.”

“But you don’t know. Not everything.” Isak paused, closed his eyes for a few seconds. Jonas just sat there, looking out into the night, not pushing, just waiting until Isak was ready to continue. “You know that thing Tom told?”

“Hmmm. I’m not sure what part you’re thinking of, he said so much mean things.”

“That thing about me being taken from behind by a guy and crying while it went on.”

“Yeah…?”

“He was right.” 

“Oh.” A long silence occurred.

_ Say something, Jonas. Anything. It doesn’t matter what. Just say something.  _

“Did he force himself on you?”

“No, no, it wasn’t like that. I was hammered, feeling sad. Didn’t want to go home. And then I met this random guy at the toilet and out of the blue he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. I said yes, thinking he would bring me home with him.” Isak paused. “I know, a stupid thought. But I didn’t want to go home, you know.” Isak took a deep breath, peaked at Jonas, trying to figure out what he was thinking.” But we didn’t go home to his place, he just asked me to pull down my pants and I said yes. Suddenly he puts his dick in my butt…”

“I’m so sorry, Isak. So, so sorry.”

“It hurt, still I didn’t do anything. I just cried. Why didn’t I ask him to stop?”

“Because you were hammered. And perhaps scared?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“You know, the worst thing isn’t the sex itself with a random guy. People have casual sex all the time. It was a bad experience and not how I thought my first experience with a boy would be, but I could’ve just file that under ‘stupid, hammered experience’ and go on. It’s embarrassing, but it could’ve been ok if the entire fucking world didn’t know about it.”

“Mhm.”

“It’s so fucking embarrassing. I don’t want everyone to think I’m the kinda guy who fucks guys at toilets. I don’t want you to think that either.” 

“It’s OK.” Jonas paused. “I mean, I know you’re not that kind of guy. And I don’t think less of you because of this. Things happen. We make mistakes.” He paused again. “God, I hate Tom. If you let me, I will punch him so hard he loses all his front teeth.” Jonas clenched his fist. 

“That would’ve been a sight for sore eyes, a toothless Tom, but no.” 

“I wasn’t ready to come out. I had enough drama already, with mum and dad splitting up, mum being delusional and everything. It was such a mess. I was a mess. I was angry, grumpy and mad at everyone and everything.”

“Can’t blame you for that.”

“You know, after awhile I started to feel a bit better. It was good that I came out despite all that happened. It was easier to be just me, I was freer.”

“Mhm. You seemed happier for a little while.”

“But then new problems arose. All that negativity that happened, bundled up and formed a grey cloud that followed me wherever I went and every time I tried to be intimate with someone, boys, the cloud started to rain. All the negative feelings I’d had, washed over me and I felt a pain in my chest. Pictures from those horrible days would flash in front of my eyes and I was unable to do anything.”

“I’m so sorry you have felt this way. So, so, sorry.” Jonas paused for a second, taking a deep breath.. “Isak?“ 

“Yes?”

“Can I hug you now?”

_ No hugging, please. I can’t bare you hugging me right now. You’ll make me cry. _

“Of course. We can always hug.”

Jonas turned around, pulled Isak close and hugged him. Hard and long. His grip was so tight it almost hurt, but Isak just let him squeeze.

Isak bit his lips hard not to cry, but it was impossible. Tears ran down his cheeks. The warmth Jonas exuded was so comforting. When Jonas finally let go, he sniffled and dried his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. He looked at Jonas and his eyes were wet too. 

“I stopped after a short while.”

“Stopped?” Jonas wondered.

“Yes, stopped looking for a guy, someone to love. I didn’t know how to deal with everything. What’s the point of getting involved with someone, if you chicken out as soon as they mention base two? ‘Hey, let’s kiss, but I’m gonna leave you dry as Sahara, because you ain’t getting any sex.’”

“Mmm.”

“I intended to just avoid guys for a while, not that it would’ve solved my problems.”

“But? I sense a but.”

“Even happened.”

“Of course.”

“Yep.” Isak smiled, how could he not thinking of Even.

“And you can’t push him away?”

“No. I would break my own heart if I did. I’m so torn. Even is just amazing, but then again I can’t stop thinking of the possibility that he might just be like boys normally are. That he will laugh and walk away. It’s not very macho, you know.” 

“What isn’t macho?”

“Afraid of sex at age 17.”

Jonas looked at Isak.

“You know what?” Jonas asked looking at Isak.

“No?”

“I’ve only met Even once and he didn’t strike me as a tough guy. He’s not exactly William or P-Chris, is he? From what you’ve told me about him, I can’t imagine  him as anything like any of those.”

“No… he’s nothing like that.”

“I remember thinking, after that party, that he came across as a soft guy. Gentle in some way.”

“Mmm.” Isak paused. “But I’ve only met him a handful of times, so what do I really know? How well do you know someone after such a short time? He might be like them after all.”

“You know, Eva tells me I’m a good judge of character. Remember I told you I had a hunch you were gay when that came out?”

“Mhm.”

“And remember Eivind from 9th grade? Remember I told you he would be trouble two days after he started in our class?”

“Omg. Eivind” Isak chuckled and it felt good. “What happened to him? He was more at the principal's office than in class.” he shook his head. 

“I think I saw him last week by the way. He was hooking up with some girl outside Stress. It looked like him at least.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. But anyway, what I’m trying to tell is that my instinct says Even won’t run away if you talk to him.”

Isak let out a sigh, hoping all the negative thoughts would leave with that exhale.

“And what is your option anyway? Walk away?”

“Ugh. No. I don’t want that. I can’t.”

“Then you just have a little heart to heart with him. You’re gonna see him tomorrow?”

“Yes. We’re going to the movies. Gonna see Dunkirk. And after that we’ll see. We’ll end up at my place.” Isak paused for a second. “I wish things wouldn’t be so complicated.”

“Life is complicated, love too, but so worth fighting for.” 

They sat in silence for a  couple of minutes, looking into the dark night.  _ Love is worth fighting for,  _ Isak thought to himself. He just had to dig deep, deep down to find that courage, because it was hidden there somewhere, wasn’t it?

“Didn’t you say he had a whole shelf full of romantic movies?” Jonas suddenly asked. 

“Yes, he does.”

“Definitely not like William or P-Chris! Definitely not like every other guy out there.” 

They both chuckled. 

“Definitely not!” Isak paused, looked at the stars wondering what Even was doing, could he see the stars too? “I should be going, it’s getting late.” Isak rose from the bench.

“Yeah. It’s getting late. Are you OK?”

“As OK as I can be, I guess. Thanks for listening and understanding.”  

Isak adjusted his cap and kicked a big stone in front of him. 

“Isak?”

“Yeah?”

“I am really happy you came to talk to me. I’ve been wanting to have these kinda conversations with my best friend. Well, not exactly this one. But, you know, heart to heart conversations.”

Jonas wrapped himself around Isak and gave him a big hug. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” Isak whispered, nearly choking, trying to muffle a cry. 

“It’s OK. I’m just glad you came now,” he replied, still hugging. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jonas said letting go of Isak. 

“Yes. Thank you!”

Seconds after the door closed behind Jonas, Isak broke down and started to cry again. A mix of happy and sad tears ran down his face as he slowly walked away from Jonas. He sat down on a bench at the end of the street, trying to compose himself, before finding the bus and go home. 

A huge weight was lifted off his shoulders now that Jonas knew the whole story. It was good to finally get that off his chest, but he couldn’t help but feel bad for waiting so long to talk to him. He had the best friend anyone could ask for, so understanding and compassionate. Why had he ever doubted Jonas would understand? Why had he doubted Jonas would be nothing but cool about the whole thing? It stung in his chest knowing he hadn’t trusted Jonas enough to tell him everything from the start. 

Drying his eyes, he eyed the clock. It was 23.23 and at that very moment he promised himself to never let Jonas out in the dark again. 

_ Pling! _

**\-------**

**Even <3**

**23:27**

 

Still up?

Yes.

Miss you already. What are you doing?

I’m sitting outside looking at the stars.

I see the stars too. 

Sitting in the window sill, smoking and thinking of you. 

I just decide to be more like you.

Oh?

Yeah. I just made a promise to myself that I intend to keep.

:-) 

If you look up, can you see Sirius?

Sirius?

Yes. It’s the brightest shining star. Reminds me of you.

❤

Can’t wait for tomorrow ❤

Me neither ❤

 

\-------

 

Isak didn’t sleep much that night. He had what seemed like 100 different conversations with Even in his head. It wasn’t easy to find a way to say what he needed to say to him. All attempts to say something made him cringe. 

_ Hey new boy. I once had sex in a public toilet, I was taken from behind with a guy, it hurt and I cried. Two days later everyone knew. And after that it fucked me up. Don’t be alarmed if i cry while we do it.  _

Some time after 3AM he passed out of pure exhaustion. 


	7. Even to the rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all lovely readers! <3 A new chapter is up. Life is a rollercoaster, but we all know Even is awesome <3 so things might not be so bad in the end ;) Feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you think. <3

“Shit, you look awful bro!” Magnus looked at Isak, then at Jonas. “You too, Jonas!”

“Thanks, man!” they said simoustanly.

“You owe me a coke!” Isak blurted out.

“Owe me a coke? Haha. Are you eight?”

“Nooo. It’s an Even-thing.” Isak smiled.

“Even thing? OK.” Jonas said with a nod.

“How are things going by the way? Have you asked him about the party tomorrow yet?” Magnus asked.

“Not yet.”

“Do it. We could use some weed.”

“He’s not some fucking Escobar, providing everyone with weed. Jeeeze!” Isak snapped, rolling his eyes.

“Calm down, bro! I thought Even had made you a bit softer, I guess I was wrong.”

“Sorry, I slept like shit last night. I’m tired. I’ll see what I can do.”

As they walked to their classroom, Jonas took hold of Isak’s arm and slowed him down.

“You OK?”

“I just slept bad. Too much on my mind. I’ll be fine.”

“Same here. Not sure when I fell asleep. 3 ish maybe?”

“Sorry for dragging you down in my misery.”

“Don’t be! OK? It’s fine. Next time the table has turned.”

 

**.**

 

Isak waited outside the cafeteria for Even to come. He tapped his feet nervously, wondering how it would be to see Even again. With a mind full of thoughts, he stared aimlessly out it the air and didn’t hear Even greeting him.

“Isak?” Even waved his hand in front of his face trying to gain contact.

“Oh hi,” Isak blushed, not knowing if he should kiss him or not. He ended up giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“What were you thinking of?”

“Oh, just random stuff,” he lied. “You gonna buy anything?”

“Nope, I’m good. You?”

“I’m good too. Go outside?”

“Sure.”

They walked outside and found a bench to sit at. As soon as they sat down, Even turned his head and gave Isak a smooch on the cheek and Isak flinched, a bit surprised by the kiss. Instantly Isak placed his hand on Even’s lap, to distract him, hoping he hadn't noticed the flinch.

“Had a great day so far?”

“It’s been ok. Been hard to focus on anything though.”

“Oh, why?”

“I’ve been thinking of you,” Even said, placing his hand on top of Isak’s.

“Me too,” Isak smiled brightly.

It was true, he had been thinking of Even, it just  hadn’t been all lovey-dovey, smooches and hearts like Even’s thought probably had been, Isak’s thoughts had been more of the worrying kind. He couldn’t help but be nervous about tonight.

“Hey, boys!” Madhi and the other guys greeted them.

“Hi guys.” Isak greeted Madhi with handshake, he hadn’t seen him today.

“Hi,” Even said shyly, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“Yo, Even, you should come on saturday. There’s a party in the planning. My place again. Parents are out of town, so I’m h o m e  a l o n e.” Magnus looked at Even with a grin.

“What about Vilde,” Madhi wanted to know.

“She got some girl stuff going on. She might come over with the girls. She wasn’t sure.”

“Sure-” Even hesitated. “If Isak wants to go- do you?” Even fumbled with the words.

“Only if you bring another joint for us.”

“Oh-”

“Just kidding. Of course I want to go. But I wouldn’t mind another joint and I guess the boys would be up for a smoke too, right?” All the boys nodded.

“I’ll see what I can do. Not sure how much I have left.”

“If you’ll bring the weed, we’ll bring booze.” Mags smiled widely.

“Deal. I’ll let you know.”

“Nice! I guess we’ll leave this two lovebirds alone for the rest of the break. I bet you got some hooking up to do.” Both Even and Isak blushed by Magnus’ comment.

The guys said goodbye. Isak and Even looked at each other like they both wanted to throw themselves at each other, but was too shy to actually do it.

“Then I’ll see you tonight at 20?” Even grabbed Isak’s back-hair and pressed the lips against his. Isak gasped as he felt Even’s silky lips touch his and he opened his mouth slightly, inviting his tongue inside. Even did not hesitate and their tongues danced around, making Isak forget all his problems for a short time.

“Eight sharp!”

 

**.**

 

When Isak saw Even entering the movie theater, he noticed that Even had changed his clothes. The grey hoodie he had used at school was exchanged with a blue, white and burgundy plaid shirt and he didn’ wore jeans, but some dark blue pants. This instantly became the new favorite outfit on Even.

“Hey, you look good,” he said, nervously kissing Even on the lips.

“Thank you. So do you. I like your t-shirt.” Isak had put a jean-shirt over his NAS t-shirt and his cap was backwards as always, curls popping up from under it.

“What kind of snack do you want?”

“I’m not having anything. Dad promised to send me money today, but he hasn’t done it yet.”

“I’m paying, you silly guy.” Even looked at him and shook his head.

“Oh-”

“Of course. What guy brings someone on a date and don’t pay for snacks? What do you think of me?” Even rolled his eyes, laughing.

“Uhm- Ok.” Isak blushed, feeling utterly stupid. “A date-”

“Yes. A date. Gosh, you’re so cute when you blush. Come here, let’s pick something.” He gave Isak kiss on the cheek, before leading the way to the kiosk.  “Do you want to share some wine gum and chocolate?”

“Sounds good.”

Isak smiled and pointed at the things he liked while Even put the things in a paper bag. After paying for the candy, they walked to the main movie theater, chatting about the movie they were going to see. Even was the one that held the conversation going and was very excited, Isak was a bit lost in his own world, thinking too much about what would happen _after_ the movie. He felt bad for not being as enthusiastic about the movie as Even was, but it was impossible to escape his own thoughts, no matter how much he tried.

Lost in his own thoughts, it took him a few seconds to realise Even was standing, totally still, like frozen in time, a few meters behind him. His eyes exuded discomfort, looking at someone in front of him. A guy approached him.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Even said quietly.

“Long time no see.”

“Same.”  

“How’s things?”

“OK”

“Good. What-”

“I gotta go now. Late for the movie.”

“Ok. I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.”

Even walked over to Isak, not saying anything.

“Who was that?”

“Oh, just someone from the past. Shall we go inside?”

“Sure.”

Isak got a strange feeling about this guy. He wanted to ask about it, but it was clearly someone Even didn’t want to talk about, so he let the thought go. Inside the theater, Even lead the way and they walked up, all the way to the back of the theater where they had placed the sofa.

“A sofa? Oh my god.”

“Yes, don’t you like it?” Even asked nervously.

“Of course. I love it!” As they sat down, Isak kissed Even to reassure him that he really loved the sofa. The truth was that it made him anxious. This was likely Even’s step one 1 into getting him to bed when they got home.   

Isak curled up and placed his head on Even’s shoulder as the movie started, between them was the bag of candy. The movie was intense, emotionally draining and very realistic and it made Isak forget his own problems for a while. He quickly escaped the real world and dived into movie, like he was one of the soldiers on the beach waiting to be rescued.

 

\-------

**the Squad**

**22:18**

 

Mags: Yo, Isak! Can Even fix some beer for tomorrow? I know I said we would fix the booze if he fixed weed, but we need more than just the bottle of vodka that Erik brought me and no one seem to be able to buy any. 4 six-packs. Lemme know.

 

\-------

“WOW! That was a rollercoaster of a movie, so intense,” Isak exclaimed as they walked out of the movie theater.

“Yes! Great, huh?”

“Yes! It made me forget-” He paused.

“Forget what?”

“Uhm- everything around me,” he continued, feeling awkward for almost telling him something he didn’t want to. “I felt like I was one of the soldiers.”

“I felt the same! So I picked the right movie?” Even grinned.

“Perfect choice!”

“So what do you want to do for the rest of the date?” Even eyed the clock. “We got almost an hour left of this day.”

“I dunno.” Isak didn’t really want to go home, but at some point they had to, they couldn’t stay out and up all night, so maybe it was best to dig deep after that long awaited courage and just get it over with? “Go home to my place?” he said nervously.

“Good idea, let’s continue the date there.”

They walked down to the bus stop outside the town hall and it didn’t take long before the bus came. It was relatively crowded, but they managed to get seats next to each other at the back of the bus. Even took the window seat, while Isak placed himself next to him. Sitting down, Even instantly took hold of Isak’s hand and squeezed it gently, looking at Isak - he looked happy. Twelve minutes later, they hopped off the bus and walked the 300 meter it was from the bus stop to Isak’s apartment.

As they walked up to the front door, Even suddenly grabbed Isak, pushing him gently up against the blue door. He took hold of his hands, locked them and pressed his lips against Isak’s, letting his tongue explore the inside of his mouth. Isak gasped, totally taken by surprised, feeling happy and and extremely nervous at the same time. _Step 2_ , he thought to himself, as the kiss went on, feeling his body tighten.

“I just couldn’t resist,” Even whispered into his mouth, sounding aroused.

“I’m not complaining,” Isak replied, unsure of what he felt about the situation.

The talk with Jonas lingered in the back of the head as they walked up to the fourth floor, where Isak lived. Courage, courage, courage. The word rang like a bell inside him. A hell of nervous he unlocked the door to the apartment, unsure of what was awaiting him. Would anyone be home?

“Hello? Anyone there?” No one answered as they took of their clothes. “That’s my room,” he pointed. “I’m just gonna see if anyone’s here.” Even walked into Isak’s room and Isak went into the kitchen, then the living room. It seemed like nobody was home. Well, Linn was probably home, hiding in her room as usual.

“So this is where you live?” Even asked as Isak entered the room.

“Yeah.”

“Who are you living with?”

“Noora, you might have seen her at school. Blond girl, always red lipstick, friends with Magnus and Jonas’ girlfriends.”

“Mmm. I think I’ve seen her, yes.”

“And then there are Eskild. Some character, quite annoying, but a genuinely good guy. He’s 22 and are working. And gay.”

“Ohhh, should I be worried?”

“Ehh. no. Last, we got Linn. She’s quiet and a bit reserved. Mostly spends time in her room.”

“How did you end up here?” Even asked, placing himself on the bed.

“Long story, I’ll tell you another day.” Isak placed himself beside Even, at the edge of the bed.

Suddenly Even took hold of him and pulled him down, making the bed sway a little. He turned his body, laying on the side, facing Isak, then he pierced his eyes into Isak, making him feel uncomfortable. Isak’s body tighten, hands felt sweaty.

“You wanna go to bed?” Even let his hand trail the face of Isak, his fingers were gentle. _Step 3_. Courage, where the hell are you?

“Even-?”

“Yes?”

“I got something-” he paused and closed his eyes for a few seconds trying to find the right words, but it was like he’d lost his ability to speak.

“You got something?” The ocean blue eyes, looking directly at him didn’t help on the situation.

“I’m just tired, slept poorly last night.” A fake yawn escaped his mouth, hoping it would fool Even. “Can we just sleep?” His heart beat fast, worried about how Even would react. Just sleep, what a way to end a date, Isak thought to himself.

“Of course.” His smile was soft as usual.

“Good.” He tried to smile, but it was killed by an actual yawn.

Isak watched Even undress, before he took of his own clothes. He couldn’t help but stare at his chest and the prominent collar bones, connecting breastbones to the shoulderblades. _How could he be so damn sexy?_

They crept under the duvet and Isak felt he had let Even down. Even hadn’t explicit told he wanted to sleep with him, but with every move he’d done, he told him what he wanted and Isak couldn’t help but feel like he’d disappointed him by turning him down like that. It didn’t matter that Even had given him his usual gentle smile and said it was OK, he still felt bad.

“Come closer,” Even whispered seeing Isak laying at his side of the bed. Isak slowly scooted himself in Even’s direction and when he was close enough, Even pushed his arm under Isak’s neck, inviting Isak to lay on his arm. Isak felt he had to offer something as a compensation for the lack of sex, so he scooted himself even closer placing his head in Even’s armrest and Even wrapped his arm around him.

Worried Even still would try to initiate something, Isak closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but it was impossible, so he lay there, eyes closed feeling Even’s chest slowly going up and down. It didn’t take long before Even was sound asleep and Isak fell asleep shortly after.

 

.

 

\-------

**the Squad**

**09:45**

 

Mags: Earth calling Isak Valtersen.

Yo!

 

Mags: so… did anything happen last night? 8-)

happen? we went to the movies. Saw Dunkirk. Great movie.

Mags: I didn’t mean the movie…

??

Mags: Sex? BJ?

Why are you so interested in my sex life?

Don’t you get enough yourself? Doesn’t Vilde give you enough BJ’s?

Oh, I forgot. Vilde doesn’t give BJ’s!

Madhi: ouch! hahaha.

Mags: jeeeze, it was only a question.

Anyway...

Confirmed! We fix beer.

 

_Chat seen by Mags, Madhi, Jonas._

\-------

  


\-------

**Best bud Jonas**

**09:52**

 

Jonas: hey, everything OK?

Yeah, I’m OK.

Jonas: did you get a chance to talk yesterday?

No… I chickened out. Sigh.

We just went to bed. I said I was tired, lack of sleep. I hope he bought the half lie.

I felt so awkward. Jeeeze.

Jonas: what did he say?

He said it was OK.

Jonas: And he’s still with you?

Yeah. Still here.

Jonas: he didn’t bail in the middle of the night at least.

Jonas: I’m sure it will be fine.

heh. I hope so…

Jonas: mum is calling, breakfast now. See you tonight.

We sure do.

Jonas: Peacenluv ❤

❤

\-------

  


.

 

It didn’t take long before Magnus’ living room was filled with people. In addition to the boys and Erik, Vilde had come by with Chris. It hadn’t taken long before a couple of friends of Erik and some girls they knew had asked if they could come. As a thank you to Erik for buying him vodka, he had accepted.

Fourteen people, all drunk, either talked with each other or danced on the relatively small free space in the livingroom. A mix of old school hip hop and newer pop songs blasted out of the speakers, all curated by Jonas. He guarded the computer like it was his newborn baby and didn’t let anyone but Even add songs to the playlist he’d made. He was determined to keep this party free from the shitty music they had heard last time.

All the girls loved Even, his tall lean body, ocean blue eyes and fluffy hair and it was like they stood in line waiting to talk to him. Isak didn’t bother, he knew Even wouldn’t act on it, and it was actually nice with some space to think, because being around Even made him a bit tense.

Well, he didn’t do much thinking, it was more like drinking and Jonas had to ask him to not be so heavy on the beer, not once but at least two times if not more.

“I need to calm down my nerves,” Isak explained, taking a large sip of the beer.

“Get so drunk you’ll pass out when you get home, that is your plan?” Jonas raised his eyebrows.

“Actually not a bad idea.”

“Actually a really bad idea. Being wasted is not charming and you have to deal with this thing sooner or later and sooner is better. It will only get worse.”

“But I’m not ready, Jonas.”

“Is anyone ever ready for such a conversation?  You just do it, head first.”

“Head first? Should I give Even head first.” Isak squinted his eyes.

“No, Isak.” Jonas sighed. “It was figuratively speaking. You’ve had enough to drink,” he explained grabbing Isak’s beer.

“Ay, give me my beer back!” He protested.

“Promise you’ll talk to him.”

“I’ll try. Now give me my beer back.”

At the same time, across the room Even was talking to two of the girls Erik’s friend Jakob had brought.

“Even, dance with me,” one of the girls asked. “I love this song.” A One Direction song started to play. _Who put this fucking song on_ Jonas shouted out loud from the other side of the room. _It’s fucking- yeah what is this shit?_ No one cared to give Jonas an answer.

“Sorry. It’s time for me to change this song and have a dance with my boyfriend.”

Even looked confident walking over to the laptop, searching for a song to play. He hadn’t talked to Isak as much as he wanted this evening, all the girls had been all over him and he didn’t mind talking to them, it felt good to have a normal conversation with people unaware of his background, but he missed getting lost in Isak’s beautiful eyes.

The Beach Boys’ Wouldn’t It Be Nice started and he walked over to where Jonas and Isak were standing talking.

“Let’s dance,” Even proclaimed, grabbing his arm, forcing him out on the dancefloor. He put his hands in Isak’s back pockets and pressed his forehead against his. Isak gasped, looking directly into Even’s eyes.

“Beach fucking Boys. Who put on this?” Jonas yelled out in the room, hastily walking up to the computer to shut it off.

“It was Even,” one of the girls said laughing.

“Even, what the fuck? I trust you!”

Even didn’t listen, he was too occupied in a romantic dance with Isak. Before Jonas got the chance to change the song, Vilde stopped him.

“Jonas, let the lovebirds have this song.”

“OK,” he sighed, rolling his eyes and let go of the laptop.

Looking up, seeing the lovebirds totally lost in each other, he couldn’t help but smile and think this probably was good for Isak. Maybe it could help Isak see that Even was an genuine guy, a softie, that would love him no matter what?

 

_Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up_

_In the morning when the day is new?_

_And after having spent the day together_

_Hold each other close the whole night through_

 

_Happy times together at dawn have we been spending_

_I wish that every kiss was never ending_

_Wouldn't it be nice?_

 

_Maybe if we think, and wish, and hope, and pray, it might come true_

_Baby, then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do_

_We could be married_

_And then we'd be happy_

 

Isak could not believe he’d put on Beach Boys! He sure had some guts, knowing how Jonas would react to such a song. Maybe the alcohol had made him loosen up too?

“Beach Boys? Really?” Isak laughed, feeling really, really good for the first time of the evening.

“You like it?” Even smirked.

“Jonas will mock you forever for that song.”

“You think?”

“100% sure!” Isak replied, still laughing. “But I’m loving you for it.”

“You are?”

“100% sure.”

Isak wrapped his arms around Even and gave him a wet kiss, feeling his tense body loosen up a bit and it felt good. He let himself get lost in the moment, forgot what lay ahead of him, he could worry later, and just enjoyed the moment, wondering how Even could be so unbelievably cute. Maybe there was hope after all?    

 

 

.

 

The walk from Bislett Kebab and back to Isak’s place had sobered him up a bit, and walking beside Even he wondered if it was a good thing or not. Things were easier when being drunk, he cared a little less and it was easier to talk.

Even did most of the talking and Isak was a little lost in his own world, thinking and worrying about what to come. Maybe he could fake falling asleep and hope Even would buy it, letting them just sleep through the night?

Thinking back on the party, Even hadn’t acted much like either William or P-Chris. All the girls had adored him and from what the girls had confessed to Isak, Even had been a sweet guy. They were jealous of Isak for having such a sweet, loving boyfriend. Lea, one of the girls, had even told Isak if Even had been single, she would’ve tried to convert him so they could be together. Isak remembered he had just laughed, hiding the fact that he probably liked girls too.

But no matter how sweet the girls had portrayed Even and no matter how incredible cute the dancing to Beach Boys had been, Isak still imagined the worst thing would happen. His mind prepared himself for worst-case-scenario.  

As they entered the apartment, Isak let out a happy sigh seeing the lights were off. At least Eskild wasn’t up, hopefully he was sleeping over at Jean-Claude. A over-happy love guru was not what he needed now.

“You can go to my room. I just need to go pee, back soon.” Isak said as he took off his sneakers, then hurried into the bathroom.

“OK”

When Isak was done and came into his own room, Even was half undressed. _He sure didn’t waste any time_ Isak thought, feeling his heart starting to beat fast. Before he knew it, Even was laying on top of the duvet in just a tight boxer. _Dear god, why do you have to be so damn hot?_

Isak slowly undressed, leaving his boxer on and crawled onto the bed, placing himself next to Even. He didn’t do anything, just looked up in the ceiling. Even rolled over to the side, facing Isak and placed his hand on his chest, let it trail down to the waistband of his boxer. Isak’s body flinched and a tie knot in his belly as Even rested his hand on top of his penis, only a thin fabric separated it from his hand.

His chests tightened and he closed his eyes for a few seconds, afraid he might start to cry. But with  closed eyes, a mash of images of the toilet at London, Tom and gouging eyes flashed in front of him, so he quickly opened them, seeing Even. He looked at him, but he couldn’t bare look back, so he rested his eyes on the yellow curtains, feeling stupid, embarrassed and like a pussy, all at once.  

“Everything OK?” Even asked, like he had seen the same images flashing before his eyes as Isak had.

“I’m fine.” He said, trying to convince Even everything was good, but every fiber in his body told him otherwise and his voice nearly cracked as the words escaped his mouth, so anyone could see that things weren’t fine.

“Sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Isak?”

“Mmhm?” Isak glanced at Even, trying to figure out what he was thinking. Two gentle eyes looked softly at him.

“Please let me know if everything’s not OK? OK? I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to.”

Even moved his hand upwards making gently swirls on Isak’s chest and leaned forward, kissing his collarbone. Isak’s body seemed tense, like it was resting on tenterhooks and Even picked up on it, instantly stopping, pulling himself away from Isak.

 _And there he changed his mind and thinks I’m an idiot_ , Isak thought as Even let go of him.

“You must think I’m an idiot.”

“No, why?”

“Because- well-” he paused and took a deep breath. “You know- look at me.”

“I don’t think you’re an idiot.” Even looked at Isak, gently stroking his arm. “We can take it slow. Whatever reason, it’s OK.” Even smiled, but Isak wasn’t convinced, everyone could fake a smile. “Is this your first time?” he asked, his hand still stroking him.

“No!”  Isak answered harshly, only to regret it seconds later.  

“I mean with a boy?”

“Yes- uhmm- no.” He fumbled with the words. “Last time wasn’t really- I dunno- it was-” Why was it so hard to find the right words when he needed them? It felt like someone had cut his tongue in half, making it impossible to speak in full sentences.

“You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to,” Even smiled softly, tousling his curls tenderly. “We’ll take it slow or we don’t do anything at all, it’s all up to you.”

His words felt like silk against skin, they were soft and comfortable. They lay like this, in silence, side by side, for minutes. Even scooted himself closer to Isak, let his hand run from Isak’s hair and to his bare back. Isak rested his eyes on Even’s chest, trying to get a grip on his own thoughts. Slowly he felt the tightness in his chest let go.

Maybe Even meant everything he said after all?

“I don’t want to.” Isak whispered.

“You want me to stop? Sure, we don’t have to do anything tonight. We can just lay here and be.”

“No, I don’t want to take it slow.”

“Oh, OK?”

“I want you. All of you. Right now. There is nothing I want more. It’s just that-”

Even looked at him, his eyes were filled with compassion and every stroke on his bare back was light as a feather, soothing him. He didn’t rush or push Isak, but let him take his time, let his words come when they were ready.

“I had a really bad experience.”

“I’m so sorry.” Even leaned forward and kissed  his shoulder. “I won’t do anything you don’t want to.” He took hold of Isak’s head, making him face him.  There was an honesty in Even's voice that no one could deny. “You know what?”

“No.” The word were barely audible.

“Remember I told you that soft was cute?” Isak just nodded. “Soft is not only cute, it’s also sexy and since slow is soft, then slow is sexy. It’s simple math.”

In that very moment, Isak knew. Even was far from William or P-Chris. Or that drunken guy from London. He was something else, something extraordinary, something to hold on to, never to let go. Tension instantly escaped his body and he felt light as feather.

“Kiss me!”

There was an urgency in Isak’s voice. He needed to seal this moment with a kiss and lifted his head, mouth open, inviting Even to kiss him. Even leaned forward and took hold of Isak’s lower lip, gently sucking on it, breathing into his mouth, telling him how much he liked his soft lips.

Even stopped for a brief moment, letting their eyes meet looking for confirmation to go on and Isak didn’t blink, didn’t look away, just pierced his eyes in Even’s with desire, asking for more. Their lips met again and soon they engaged in a passionate kiss. They kissed, sucking each other’s lips and didn’t stop before they both were out of breath. Without having noticed it, Even had straddled him and Isak felt nothing but aroused having Even's lean body on top of himself.

Isak looked at Even as he moved his lips to the arch of his neck, gently shooting kisses on Isak’s skin. Even’s mouth was light as silk, still every kiss felt like he got shot in the stomach, making him gasp every time the lips touched his skin. Even looked up at him, to reassure himself everything was OK.  

“Can I do this?”

Even whispered and kissed his collarbone. A faint yes escaped Isak’s mouth as he closed his eyes, seeing Even had moved downwards when he opened them seconds later.

“And this?”

Even’s mouth kissed Isak’s ribs, a series of slender curved bones articulated in pairs to the spine, protecting the thoracic cavity and its organs. All twelve pairs were kissed, making Isak more and more aroused and with every kiss the horrible memories faded away. He took hold of Even’s hair, gently pulling it, begging him to come back.

“Your lips-” Isak moaned.

“What about them?” Even asked looking up.

“Miss them.”

Even shot kisses on Isak’s soft skin, making his way up to meet his lips again. Isak instantly took hold of Even’s lower lip, sucked it before stopping a split second, inviting Even to play. Even didn’t say no to the invite and in a split second their lips engaged in a slow dance and they didn’t stop until they both were out of breath again, gasping for air.

“Now where was I headed?” Even panted. “-before you interrupted me.”

“You were heading south,” Isak smiled, causing Even to giggle.

“Do you want me to go south again?” Even asked yet again making sure Isak was on board and comfortable. 

“Please.”

“Ai ai, captain,” he winked and let his tongue trail from the top of the shoulder and down his chest, not stopping until he reached the waistline of his boxer.

“Can I? Even asked softly.

Isak nodded and smiled expectantly of what was about to happen. His heart was on the verge to explode of happiness by the thought of Even asking for permission to give him a blow job. This was something totally different than being taken from behind by a drunk stranger and Even had been right, both soft and slow was indeed sexy.

Isak felt Even’s hand on his hips, pulling him to the end of the bed so his feet touched the floor. Even placed himself on his knees between Isak’s legs and leaned forward letting Isak inside his mouth. He played with Isak’s member, first licking it, then gently sucking it, eventually picking up the pace and he didn’t stop until Isak released himself inside him, loudly moaning.

Slowly he let go of Isak and looked up at him, seeing a blessed look upon Isak’s face.

“Thank you, Even.”

“What did you say?”

“I said thank you,” he replied shyly.

“No, what did you call me?”

Even crawled up to level with Isak again. Both were now laying beside each other, looking into each other's eyes.

“Call you? I said your name.” Isak looked a bit confused.

“Ohh, I thought you said Evi.” Even smiled and pulled a string of hair away from Isak’s forehead.

“Evi?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you like it?”

“Mhhm,” he nodded.

“Then that’s what I said,” Isak replied, leaning forward and kissed him on the nose. “Thank you, Evi.”


	8. Life is a rollercoaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii lovely readers. Sorry for those who have waited. Here is a new chapter for you all <3<3<3 Enjoy!

Waking up had never felt better, seeing Even sleeping like an angel beside him. One of Even’s legs were wrapped around his legs and it was nearly impossible to move, but he had to get out of bed to pee, so he slowly freed himself trying not to wake him up. With light steps he walked out in the hall, hoping Eskild wasn’t up. He wanted to enjoy Even all by himself a bit longer. Luckily Eskild was nowhere to be seen, so Isak was able to sneak back into his room without being caught.

As he walked over to the bed, seeing Even’s naked body, he let his thought wander back to the night before. Even had set himself aside and taken care of all his needs, making him sure he was comfortable all the way and Isak wondered if he ever would be able to repay Even for what he’d done. Even hadn’t mocked him for his problems or ignored them and done his thing. How could someone so young be so thoughtful and have such a big heart?

Isak placed himself on top of the duvet and grabbed his phone.

 

\-------

**Best bud Jonas**

**10:02**

 

YO!

YO, YO!

You’re early on. Jeeze. I wasn’t in bed until 4.30 ish.

Sorry, did I wake you?

Yes

But we’re best buds, so it’s ok, right?

Haha, yes. How did it go last night btw?

We talked!

And?

Well, I didn’t tell him everything. Just what he needed to know.

And OMG. That guy

I think I’ve met the most sweetest guy ever! He was awesome! ❤❤❤

Awwww.

B-J! 10/10.

Hahaha

What did I tell you? Jonas got mad skillz!

Mad people skillz! 8-)

I should never doubt you again, Jonas.

Hah! Did you really write that? I’ll remember that for future conversations.

Wrote before thinking...

This came straight from the heart ❤

Gaah. I take it back. I didn’t mean it.

No can do. I’m screenshotting this right now.

Saving it in the vault where I keep my dearest, most valuable belongings.

haha.

This will haunt you til the day you die.

Shut up!

\-------

Isak put down the phone, crawled under the bed, scooted himself close to Even and kissed his shoulder gently. Even was warm so he wrapped himself around him, letting his body heat him up. With his hand he made gentle swirls on his torso and slowly Even woke, first lifting one eye, then the next.

“Hi”

“Hi, slept good?”

“Mhm. You?”

“Haven’t slept this good in ages.” Isak confessed. “Hungover?”

“A bit yes, head hurts, you?”

“Same. If I hadn’t used all my painkillers last week I would’ve offered you one.”

“It’s fine, I’ll live.”

“This might help,” Isak said and kissed Even’s forehead repeatedly.

“Definitely,” he smiled. “I think my cheek hurts a bit too. And my mouth. My mouth hurt a lot all of a sudden. Can you take care of that pain too?”

“Sure!”

Isak showered Even with kisses, first his forehead and then cheek, before he took hold of his lips and started to play with them. It didn’t take long before they were engaged in sloppy, wet kisses, lots of wet kisses and they didn’t stop until their lips started to get sore.

“I think I’ve got a new drug,” Even stated, letting go of Isak’s lips.

“A new one?”

“Yeah, apart from the joints, I mean.”

“Oh… and what is that?”

“You have to ask?” Even laughed.

“Kissing?” Isak blushed.

“Yeah. Doh!”

“It’s my fav drug too. Your lips tastes so…”

“So what?

”Good.” He smirked. “No, that doesn’t cover it. It tastes like sugar and butter and bacon and waffles and chocolate and cinnamon buns all at once, quite magical.”

“All at once?” Even laughed.

“Well… maybe not all at once, but def. in the same meal.”

“Yours too.”

“Now that we’re talking about drugs. Do you watch Narcos?”

“Yes!”

“Wanna watch an episode? I’ve been dying to see a new episode, but I’ve been kinda busy the last days,” he winked.

“Me too” he said giving Isak a smack on the cheek. “But sure! I’ve seen the first four episodes.”

“Hah! Me too. We’re in sync.” Isak looked at Even with a loving smile, thinking they were made for each other. “What do you think of Peña’s plan to try to capture Gilberto Rodriguez?” he asked as he got up, turning on the TV and connecting the laptop.

“I’m not sure I like that. Ugh.”

Isak placed himself in the armrest of Even and tucked the duvet around them, making sure they wouldn't be cold. Not that there was any chance they would get cold, because Even was warm as a heater and Isak lay so close to him, they could share his heat.

Two hours later, at the end of the second episode, the laptop died and Isak was too comfortable to get up and search for the charger, so he asked if they could just lay in bed and talk instead. They talked about Narcos, heaven and hell and everything in between, just not much about very personal things like family, friends and past relationship. It wasn’t until much later Isak would reflect over it, now he was just a boy madly in love, happy to talk about whatever Even wanted.

Suddenly, in the middle of a talk about the movie ‘the snowman’ who was set to release in a few weeks, the door to Isak’s room opened and Eskild burst inside.

“Oh”

“Eskild!” Isak yelled. ”Will you ever learn to knock?”

Eskild half closed the door, like he all of a sudden was taken aback by Isak’s yelling.

“Ooooh!” Eskild opened the door again, walking in. “Hi, there.” He put up his usual bright smile and winked.

“Hi…” Even said a bit shyly.

“So… this is the hunk you’ve been talking so much about? Finally I get to meet him.”

“Eskild...” Isak’s face flushed. Even knew he liked him a lot, he wouldn’t have been in bed with him if not, but it still felt a bit awkward that Eskild talked about what he’s said about him.

“Eskild approves!” He smiled and walked further into the room, now standing at the end of the bed. “Who knew my little baby bean could get such a catch? I get what you mean with those eyes. Oh my they are blue and beautiful. I do have a boyfriend, you know, but if I’d been single, god knows what have could’ve happened.” Eskild laughed, sat down on the end of the bed, crossing his legs, placing both hands on his knee.

“Eskild. Get your ass of my bed.” Isak sighed. Even just beamed, looking very amused by the whole situation. “We’re not gonna have a conversation now. What’s gonna happen is this: 1. You go out that door and close it. 2 Even and I stay in bed talking.”

“Is this the way to talk to papa Eskild?”

“Go call Jean-Claude and hope he’ll misses you.”

“As a matter of fact, I’m seeing Jean-Claude soon, we’re going to a museum.”

“Good, good. Now take off.”

“Nice to meet you, hunk.” Eskild winked.

“Nice to meet you too.” Even answered still beaming.

“And there you have Eskild in a nutshell!” Isak sighed as the door closed.

“I can hear you,” Eskild shouted from the other side of the door.

“Whatever!”  

“I found him amusing.”

“You say that now. If you had lived with him for six months, you would’ve thought differently. I swear.”

“How did you really end up here?”

Isak took a deep breath.

“I needed to get away from my parents.”

“The rebellious teenager running away from home?” Even chuckled.

“No- My parents were splitting up, getting a divorce.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Even cut him off.

“Dad was about to take off and leave me with my mum. I couldn’t handle her.”

“Oh? How?”

“She’s crazy!”

“How?”

“Eh- she’s all paranoid, thinking the government is out to get her. Doesn’t trust strangers, ”

“Oh-”

“Yeah. Mentally unstable. Exhausting!” Isak let out a sigh.

“Oh OK, I see.”

“So that is my story. But let’s not talk about that. It’s depressing.”

“Mmm” Even mumbled with an absent look on his face.

_I transferred 1500 kr to your account. Use them wisely._

Isak saw Even drift off for a while and he wondered what he was thinking about. All Isak was thinking about was the fact that he had money again.

“Oh, dad just gave me money. Wanna go to Bislett Kebab to eat? I’m getting hungry.”

Even didn’t respond.

“Earth calling Even Bæch Nesheim.” Isak chuckled, giving Even a smooch on the cheek.

“Huh?” he flinched.

“I was asking you if you wanted to go to Bislett Kebab to eat. Where are you?”

“Oh- just drifted off,” he said with an artificial smile.

“So? You wanna go?”

“Sure.”

45 minutes later they stood inside Bislett Kebab ready to order. Isak bought a large kebab and a coke and Even did the same. They sat down at some chairs by the window, looking out, seeing the tram pass on its way downtown.

“Oh fuck!” Even exclaimed, looking at his phone after half of the kebab was gone.

“What?” Isak asked, mouth full of food.

“I forgot, I promised to pick grandma up at the airport this afternoon. Fuck.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, she’s in Bergen this weekend.”

“Picking her up by car?”

“No, no. I don’t drive. I had planned to take the train. Or maybe the bus.” Suddenly they both saw the airport bus passing the, going downtown. “Hmm. Looks like the bus passes here, maybe it stops at Rosenhof?”

“Yeah. I think it does.” Even quickly opened his phone to find out.

“It does stop here, and it says that it goes every half an hour.” Even eyed his phone again. “Fuck, it’s 15.30 already. I need to be going if I’m not gonna be late.” he took a big sip of his coke. “Sorry!” he said as he stood up.

“It’s fine, you can’t make your grandma wait.” Isak smiled, feeling a bit annoyed that he had to leave so suddenly. “I’ll walk you to the bus stop.” They grabbed their belongings and headed out with fast steps and walked up the bus station.

“Ooh, I see the bus coming. Lucky me,” Even smiled.

“Good timing.”

“Again, sorry for leaving so abruptly.”

“It’s fine.” Even put his hand in the air, giving signal to the bus driver to stop.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“No kiss goodbye?” Isak pouted, Even being half way into the bus.

“Oh sorry.” Even turned around and gave Isak a quick kiss on the cheek.  

**.**

 

\-------

 **Evi** ❤

**22:20**

 

I hope you got your grandma safe home :)

My bed feels empty without you in it. Wish you were here ❤

\-------

 

Isak lay in bed, watching the latest episode of Narcos, waiting for Even to reply, but nothing happened. 45 minutes later, his message to Even had yet to be read and Isak wondered why. Even had been very quick in his replies when Isak had texted him, sometimes Isak wondered if Even was walking with his phone in the hand 24/7, waiting for a message.

He fall asleep that night, feeling something was wrong, unable to pinpoint exactly what. It was just a hunch, his gut telling him things weren’t the way it should’ve been.

 

**.**

 

“Hi, Evi.” Isak said smiling when he caught Even sitting at a bench by himself in the school cort waiting for class to start. He deliberately called him Evi to see how he would react.

“Hi, Isak,” he smiled back, not commenting on the nickname or calling him baby.

“I missed you last night,” Isak said, giving Even a kiss on the cheek.

“Oh sorry. I was already in bed,” he excused himself. “And this morning I was running late, so I forgot to reply you.” Even took hold of Isak’s hand and kissed it quickly.

“It’s alright, I just missed you.”

Even didn’t say he’d missed him too, he just stared aimlessly out in the air.

“So, you wanna meet up after school?”

“I can’t. Promised grandma I come for dinner.”

“Ohh.. OK.”

“I tried to say no, but she insisted I should come today. You know how it is.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Tomorrow then? If you’re not busy.”

“Tomorrow.” Even nodded and smiled. “I better go to class, not to be late. I guess you need to too?”

“Yeah.” Isak sighed.

“See you.” Even kissed him quickly on the cheek before taking off.

 

\-------

 **Evi** ❤

**11:15**

 

Lunch together?

Eh... sorry. I have a report I forgot to write for my english class…

Will be at the library doing that during lunch.

>:p

 

It’s your fault btw...

Why?

Distracting me, being all sexy and what not

❤

Sorry

\-------

 

**.**

 

Laying in bed, after having a conversation with Jonas, he let his thoughts wander. The gut feeling from yesterday, telling him something was wrong, had not disappeared. He just couldn’t put his finger on what it was. He felt that Even had been distant the whole day, almost pushing him away. Was they going forward too fast? Was it something he had said or done that Even had reacted on, but not told him? Isak tried to recreate all the conversations they had had the last days, dissect them and see if he could come up with something, but he couldn’t.

Or was it just all imagination? All Isak being paranoid like his mum? He couldn’t expect Even to be there whenever he wanted him there, 24/7. He had a life on his own too. Maybe all the things that had happened the two last day just was a coincidence? Maybe it just was life happening? Maybe it was as simple as that?

Jonas’ advice to Isak had been to talk to Even about it, if he really felt something wasn’t right, because nothing would resolve itself and talking was always good.

So right before his eyes closed for the last time, he promised himself to have a chat with Even.

 

**.**

 

Walking across the school court with Jonas, he looked around if he could see Even, but he was nowhere to be seen and he took that as good sign. At least he wasn’t standing somewhere not wanting to talk.

“What do you think about the new Gucci Mane song Curve? Have you heard it? the Weekend is on it. It disappointed me a bit I have to say.”

“Haven’t heard it.”

“But I sent it to you.”

“Oh… I must have forgotten to listen to it. Sorry.”

“I guess Beach Boys is all you listen to these days” Jonas mocked.

“Ha-ha-ha. I wasn’t the one putting that song on, it was all Even’s doing.”

“But you liked it, anyone could see that. The two lovebirds tightly wrapped around each other. Just admit it.”

“Fine! I liked it.”

Suddenly Isak felt someone grabbing his arm. As he turned his head he saw Even.

“Come here.”

He dragged Isak into the copy room, locking the door and before Isak managed to say anything, Even pushed him up against the wall, pressing their lip together.

“Good morning,” he breathed into Isak’s mouth.

“And good morning to you,” Isak answered, gently biting Even’s lower lip, suddenly feeling very aroused.  

“I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Isak let go of Even’s lip, looking him in the eyes, trying to figure out what was happening. The intensity of Even’s eyes, the way he pierced them into his, made it impossible to make sense of anything. Isak wasn’t sure if it was deliberate or not, either way, Even’s eyes pierced into his like that, got him out of balance, made his knees weak and paralysed his brain. He shut down and couldn’t do anything else than keep up with what Even was doing.

Even leaned in close, until their faces were only inches apart and their nose met. With urgency, he took hold of Isak’s lip, biting it, playing with it with his teeth, before he pressed his tongue inside. He worked with such intensity, Isak started to wonder if it was because he was so worked up or if he was in a hurry, trying to make the most of the little time they had before class started.

Whatever the reason was, Isak loved what Even was doing to him. Locked up in the copy room at school felt so thrilling, knowing the world outside was going on as normal with students with backpacks walking to classes and teachers getting ready for the day ahead. Inside the copy room, it felt like time stood still.

Even kissed him with such urgency, with such intensity that when he finally let go, Isak only craved more.

“I need more,” Isak breathed into Even’s mouth, quickly taking hold of his upper lip.

“I got class,” Even moaned.

“Fuck class. No fuck me.”

“Fuck you? Here in the copy room?” Even giggled as their lips parted for a split second.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Isak’s shoulders heaved as he panted, only craving more of Even.

“Don’t do this to me,” Even complained, taking hold of Isak’s lips again.

“Excuse me, it was you that brought me here,” he stated between the kisses, pulling Even’s hair. “I’m the one that should complain.”

“I should really be going now, I got an english test. Can’t be late,” he breathed into Isak’s mouth for the last time.

They reluctantly let of of each other, all smiles

“Fuck you,” Isak stated as he picked up his cap that had fallen off when Even had pushed him up against the wall. “How am I supposed to concentrate during math class now?” He stared at Even, trying to put up a angry face, only to fail miserably.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

“I hope you fail that english test,” he laughed. Even took hold of his hand and tried to kiss him again, but Isak just pushed him away with the palm of his hand planted in his face. “I can’t handle more of you right now.”

All of Isak’s worry had vanished into the air, being erased with a brush stroke the second Even had pushed him up against the wall. Even were not thinking they were taking it too fast and it was no way he could have any problems with Isak, was it?

 

\-------

 **Evi** ❤

**09:40**

 

That thing you did this morning…

What about it?

It fucked me up big time

Sorry.

I will try to restrain myself next time.

Please do. No wait, who am I kidding? I want more

❤❤❤

You can have me for lunch ;-)

hahaha

But seriously, meet me outside entrance A.

I know some place we can go...

 

\-------

Walking back to class after lunch was over, Isak felt he was hovering above ground. The way Even had kissed him, in the alley close to school, had been nothing but magical. The fact that they had ended up beside a smelly dumpster and a piece of the brick wall behind them had poked Isak in the back, hadn’t bothered him at all. All his senses had been locked on Even and what he was doing. It had been fireworks and stars and the northern lights all at once, mashed up in a beautiful symbiosis, creating something truly wonderful and hot. Steamy hot!

It hadn’t been rushed or with such urgency like this morning. It had been so, so slow and so sexy. Even’s math analogy had been so right, slow was indeed sexy. The way Even had moved his lips, his tongue, his hands - Isak couldn’t remember ever being kissed like that before. They had stood like that, up against the wall, lost in a bubble, kissing for what seemed like an eternity and they hadn’t stopped until someone had closed the lid on the dumpster with such force it had made loud noise, making them both flinch.

The guy had excused himself for making such noise, for startling them and both Even and Isak had blushed, feeling a bit self conscious, but only for a few seconds, because they had no time to lose if they were going to make the most out the lunch break.

Sitting in class watching a video about WW2, Isak’s stomach growled with so much intensity, it felt like everyone could hear it.

“Where were you during lunch break?” Jonas whispered, trying to avoid the teacher to hear him.

“I had some business to take care of,” Isak whispered back.

“Business?”

“I met Even.”

The stomach growled again, now even louder.

“Jesus, it was just lunch. Didn’t you eat?”

“No, yes- no-,” he said blushing.

“You’re not making any sense now and why are you blushing? What did you do during lunch?”

Isak just put his index finger in front of his own lips. Jonas looked at him, making a frown, like he was thinking really hard and suddenly his eyes widen, like he’d connected all the dots.

“So you and Even were taking care of some business?” he wondered, making quotes with his fingers. Isak only nodded, smiling and blushing even more. “Where?”

“Outside school,” Isak whispered. “Next to a dumpster, in the back of an alley.”

“B-J?”

“God no!” Isak snorted, not realising his sound level had increased.

“Shhhh” the teacher said, looking at the two of them. “Pay attention to the film guys.”

“What was that all about?” Madhi asked them after class was over. Magnus and Madhi had been sitting behind them in class, watching them whisper to each other.

“Oh, just Isak telling me about how he and Even took care of business next to a dumpster in an alley outside school during lunch break.”

“Thank you, Jonas!” Isak rolled his eyes, clearly unsatisfied with Jonas broadcasting his encounter with Even.

“Taking care of business? As in B-J?” Magnus asked.

“God! Not you too! What are you thinking of me? Jeeeze!” Isak complained loudly, shaking his head.

“So what was it then?” Magnus wanted to know.

“Just some kissing.”

“Just some kissing?” Madhi said out loud, raising his eyebrows. “Didn’t look like it was just some kissing, seeing you come all hot and flustered into the classroom.” Madhi was laughing now. “Smile so wide one could be concerned your face was about to rip in half.”

“Ooo-kaaay. It wasn’t just a kiss, it was the fucking best makeout I’ve ever had. There! Are you happy now?” Isak shook his head with a dejected smile. “I love you guys, but sometimes you are a little too much,” he sighed, jumping off the desk waking out of the classroom.

 

**.**

 

“Bro!” Magnus shouted to Even, seeing him standing with Isak by the flag post at school.

“Hi,” Even greeted back.

“You got game, bro!”

“Uhm… Game?”

“I heard you and Isak had lunch together outside school today,” he laughed and soon Jonas and Madhi were laughing too. Even’s face flushed, first looking at the guys, then Isak.

“You told them about lunch?” Even had a priceless look on his face.

“They was nagging so much,” Isak excused himself.

“I dunno what to say.” Even shook his head and chuckled.

“Well, just take the compliment and say thanks.” Magnus laughed.

“Thank you, Mags.”

“Well, enough about your delicious lunch, do you wanna come hang at Skur 13? We’re heading there now.”

“Sure!” Even exclaimed enthusiastically.

“But I hungry for more,” Isak whispered into Even’s ear.

“We can eat later. I wanna hang with the boys.”

“OK,” he sighed, a bit unsatisfied.

“So, what are you saying, guys?” Jonas looked at Isak.

“We’re in.”

“I guess we can find an alley if I get too hungry.” Isak whispered to Even before giving him a big, wet kiss.

“Oh god, here we go again!” Magnus exclaimed.

“Shut up!” Isak and Even said simountainlysly.

“Hah! You owe me a coke!” Even declared, giving Isak a smooch on the cheek.


	9. Intermediate I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi, two updates in one day. This is just a tiiiiny thing, building up to something...

The two next weeks went on with a perfect mix of school, hangs with the boys and alone time with Even. He really enjoyed being alone with Even, making out, having sex.

Isak expected Even to pick up the pace for every time they were intimate, but Even did no such thing. He always handled Isak delicately, like he was a porcelain doll he was afraid to break and it made Isak feel special. He didn’t feel like some random guy Even fucked to satisfy his own needs. This is not fucking, but had to be what people referred to as ‘making love’. At least that was what Isak felt every time they were doing it, they made love. 

When they weren’t all absorbed in each other, they were just being together watching a movie or just laying in bed talking about life. Even didn’t reveal much of his past, but Isak didn’t mind. He had things from his past he didn’t want to talk about too. 

Something Isak loved just as much as hanging out with Even, was him and Even hanging out with the boys. Even had come into the group and matched so perfectly. One day, laying in bed talking, Even had told Isak how much he enjoyed hanging out with his friends, how easy they were to be around and how much fun he had. And Even was right, his friends were easy going and funny. They could be a pain in the ass from time to time, Isak had no idea how many times he’d screamed in dismay over something they had done or said, but it was how it should be among best friends. 

For the first time in ages, maybe ever, Isak felt his life was nothing but good. But nothing lasts forever, doesn’t it?


	10. Nothing lasts forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii :) I felt being generouse and post a new chapter already. This might not be what you expected to happen when you finished last chapter. Still I hope you like it :) <3

“Grandma gave me money. She said I should spend it on something useful.”

“And then you go and buy the newest FIFA game? Even laughed. Omg. How Isak loved it when Even laughed. His face just lit up and even though he loved the blue in his eyes, seeing his eyes narrow like that, hiding most of the beautiful blue eyes, he might love that even more.

“I find it useful,” Isak laughed too now. “Admit it, it  _ is  _ kinda useful. It’s good for hangover saturdays and rainy sundays.”

“Can’t argue with that. But when am I gonna beat you in this game?”

“When? Never!”

“So we’re not gonna play against each other then?” Even teased, knowing Isak would kick on it.

“Ha ha. Funny. I’ll beat you any day.” 

“What if I’m the world's best FIFA player, but I just haven’t told you about it yet.” 

“You’re not. I would’ve known.”

“How?”

“Because it would’ve been all over the internet.”

“Yeah? You’ve googled me?”

“Uhm- yes-” Isak blushed, creating pink roses in his cheeks that Even loved so much.

“When?”

“Back when I was desperate.” Isak smiled.

“You were?” Even couldn’t hide his excitement.

“Yes,” he answered, making the roses darker and more visible.

“You’re not anymore?”

“I got you now.” 

Isak turned his head and kissed Even on the cheek. 

“Ay, baby Isak.” Isak instantly froze, cold shivers went through his spine. He knew that voice. “Are you speechless?” Tom had stopped right in front of them. First he looked at Isak, then Even. “Oooh, is this your boyfriend? How did you meet up?”

Isak’s chest tighten and he searched for Even’s hand, squeezed it so hard it turned red. 

“What do you want?” His voice was on the verge of cracking. Tom didn’t answer, he was not interested in a conversation. Deep down Isak knew that all he wanted was to be mean, to fuck with him, what else was new, but he was too paralyzed to fight back.

“Do you know all his secrets?” Tom pierced his eyes into Even wiggling his eyebrows like this was some fun quiz they were having. “Do you know he has sex at public toilets? With strangers! Once he cried his eyes out, while someone took him from behind. He fucking cried!” Tom’s laugh filled the air. “Was it how you met?” Tom didn’t blink and saw Even’s confused face. “Whoops, did I spill a secret?” 

Isak let go of Even’s hand, worried how he would react. Would he believe Tom and be disgusted? He put it in the pocket of his jeans, trying to hide how much he was shaking. 

“Let’s go!” Even said seeing how terrified and uncomfortable Isak looked. “We don’t need to listen this.” 

Even searched for Isak’s hand, only to see it was hidden it in his pocket. He tried to pull it out, but Isak wouldn’t let him. It was like Isak had frozen to ice, he didn’t move an inch. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to reveal your secret, baby Isak. I’ll let you two talk now. I guess you have lots to talk about.” Tom placed his hand on Isak’s shoulder. Seconds later, Even brushed it off telling him to fuck off! “Oooh, feisty.”

Looking back at Isak, Even saw Isak’s glassy eyes, still looking terrified and uncomfortable. Instinctively he took hold of Isak and wrapped himself around him, hugging him tightly. Isak felt powerless and rested his face in the arch of Even’s neck. Confused about what just had happened, Even’s head started to spin. He hadn’t seen Isak like this since the first time he slept in Isak’s bed and Isak told him about an episode leaving scars upon him. Isak hadn’t told exactly what had happened, only that he had a bad sexual experience, but Even figured there had to be a connection between what once had happened and this guy. Standing like this, in Akersgata, Even got an idea.

“Isak?”

“Mmm,” he responded, barely audible. 

“I got an idea. Can you wait here for a minute or two?” 

Even slowly let go of Isak, only holding his shoulders with his hands, giving him a tender look. What Isak didn’t know, but later would find out, was that Even understood Isak too well, because he’d been there too. He had felt the pain Isak was feeling now.

“OK.” 

Isak looked a bit confused when Even hastily walked away from him and further up the street. Where was he going? Was he leaving him? Waiting for Even to come back, Isak sat down on a bench behind him, staring into nothing, feeling dizzy.

“You came back.” The words unintentionally escaped his mouth. 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Did you think I would run away?”Even cupped Isak’s head and kissed him on the mouth. 

“You know…” He rested his eyes on his sneakers, feeling ashamed. 

“Oh Isak! I won’t leave you,” Even said kissing him again. “Come, I have a plan.” Even picked up the paper bag he had placed beside him. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Some place quiet. Trust me, you’ll like it.” 

“OK.” 

As soon as they started walking, Even took hold of Isak’s hand, letting their fingers entwine, showing him he had no intention to walk away. Isak squeezed his hand, letting out a sigh. Even’s hand felt good in his, like they belonged to each other and it felt safe to have him near.  He trusted Even and let him lead the way. They didn’t talk as they walked down Akersgata, towards the fortress and Isak didn’t mind, he needed time to process what had happened. 

“I like to sit here when I need a little time out,” Even pointed at the edge of the the fortress. “It’s quiet up here. And the view is nice. The fjord, the water is so calming.” 

They placed themselves on top of some stones, serving as a fence. It was a bit cold, it was october after all, but neither of them could care. Isak sat close to Even, leaning his head against his shoulder and Even wrapped his arm around him. Isak didn’t say anything and Even didn’t push him, he wanted to let him talk whenever he was ready. 

“I’m not really like that, you know.” Isak suddenly said, after several minutes of silence. “You gotta believe me. I’m not like that.”

“I know, Isak. I know.” 

“But the worst thing is that he’s right. It did happen.” 

Isak took hold of Even’s hand, letting their fingers entwine again, it made him feel safe, feel ready open up. He took a deep breath and then he poured his heart out, telling Even all about that night and the following days. 

“I know how it is. I really do. I’ve…” Even suddenly stopped, looking out over the fjord, like he was contemplating if he should continue or not. Isak got the feeling Even was about to tell him something important, something he needed to hear, and it was nothing more he wanted, but he didn’t have the energy to follow up on it. Not tonight, tonight he was too deep down in his own mess to deal with anything else. Later, maybe later? 

They sat there talking, hugging and kissing. Isak unloaded his heavy heart and Even did his best stitching up all the cracks it had the only way he knew, with tender kisses, warm hugs and soft words. 

“Fuck!” Isak suddenly blurt out. 

“What?” Even said startled.

“What time is it?”

“Soon 19.45.”

“Fuck,” he repeated. “We’re late for the stand up show.”

“It’s fine, we can catch it later sometime.”

“But you already got us tickets! It’s the premiere and you really wanted to go.”

“It’s not that important. We can go some other time.”

“But…”

“Shhh. It’s OK. It wouldn’t feel right to go. And I’m not in the mood anymore.”

“Now I ruined your mood and the day.” Isak sighed, feeling terrible. “I’m sorry I fucked up the evening.”

“Isak!” Even’s voice was firm. He took hold of him, cupped his face and pierced his blue eyes into Isak. “You did not fuck up this evening. That son of a bitch did.”

No matter what Even said, he couldn’t help but feel bad for ruining the evening. He knew Even had looked forward to this. His face was inches from Even’s and he wanted nothing more than kiss Even, but he felt he didn’t deserve it, so he restrained himself. 

“Oh, we almost forgot!” Even placed the paper bag on his thighs. 

“What’s that?”

“Here.” Even handed him a cinnamon bun from the bag. “And here is a juice.”

“You shouldn’t have. You’ve spent enough money on me as it is today. Wasted money actually.” 

“Shush. Don’t talk like that. Just eat the bun. Money doesn’t matter. You do!”

Isak took a bite of the cinnamon bun, and even though it tasted heavenly like always, Even’s words comforted him more. Even was so sweet, sweeter than any cinnamon ever could be. 

“I still like you better than cinnamon buns.” 

Isak looked at Even smiling, with icing sugar smudged on his chin. Even smiled back, before he kissed Isak’s chin free from icing sugar. 

“You had icing sugar on your chin.”

It was getting cold, a light breeze hit their face and Isak shivered. The stone they were sitting on was cold and the sun had disappeared in the horizon long time ago. A lamp above them had given them light as they sat there talking. 

“You’re cold. Maybe we should go?” Even wondered.

“Mhm. Aren’t you cold?” 

“Nope.”

“Why are you never cold? You’re like a heater. Always warm.”

“I know.”

“Not that I’m complaining.”

“Your place?” Even liked Isak’s place more than his own. One thing was that no parents was at Isak’s place, another good thing was his big bed. Even had just a silly bunk bed, which was not very romantic or practical. 

“Is your mum home?” Isak had yet to meet Even’s mum. He didn’t mind meeting her, she must be a great women raising Even to be the way he was, but tonight was not a good day for meeting someone. Not her or anyone else for that matter. 

“Nope, she’s away all weekend. I’m home alone.”

“Can we please go to your place? Eskild is having some guys over, his squad, and I’m not up for that tonight.” 

“Of course.” 

Walking away from the fortress and to the tram, Even took hold of Isak’s hand again and not only did it make Isak warm hearted, he felt proud having his hand in Even’s. It wasn’t the grand things he did that mattered the most, but all the small acts of kindness. Liking buying him cinnamon buns, something that said so much about their relationship and said so much about much he cared for him, regardless of what he’d done in the past. If things had been different, if he hadn’t felt so shitty, he would’ve screamed out loud, danced in the street and proclaimed to everyone that this was his guy, this was Even Bæch Nesheim and he was his boyfriend. 

“Evi?”

“Yes, baby.”

“Thank you for holding my hand.”

“Oh…” he looked at Isak. “That’s nothing.”

“You don’t know how wrong you are. It’s everything.” He squeezed his hand a little bit harder.

“Isak! Even!” Vilde shouted out and both of them looked around, trying to find out where the voice came from.

“Hi, guys” Vilde waived with both her hands. 

“Hi.” Isak and Even said simultaneously. 

“Hello.” Eva greeted them. “Oh my god. Look at you cuties holding hands.” A happy sigh escaped her mouth. 

“What are you up to?” Vilde asked.

“On our way to may place, taking it easy. Just some Netflix and chill.” Even explained. “You?”

“We’re meeting up with Sana soon. Going to the movies to see Wonderwoman.”

“Cool. I heard it’s great. We talked about seeing it too, didn’t we Isak?”

“Mmhm.”

“Well, we better hurry. Sana is waiting.” Eva let her hand run through her hair.

“It was nice meeting you,” Vilde smiled. 

“Same.” Even smiled back. 

“Bye.”

“Bye.”  

Coming home to Even’s place, they decided to relax and watch some TV. Isak was tired and not in the mood for anything, no sex, not even cuddles. They curled up next to each other on the couch, with a blanket over them and it didn’t take long before Isak was sleeping 

“Isak?” Even whispered after Isak had been sleeping for an hour. He was hungry, but Isak had wrapped himself around him, burying his face in the crook of his elbow. “Iask.” Even ruffled his hair, but nothing happened, so he had to break from Isak, pulling himself away. 

“Stay,” Isak mumbled, trying to hold Even back. 

“I’m hungry. Need something to eat. I should get you to bed.”

“Baby, come here,” he begged, stretching out his arm searching for Even, but Even had already left the living room. A few minutes later he was back. 

“I’ve made the bed. Let’s get you to bed.”

“I’m too tired to move,” Isak mumbled. 

Even had no other option, since Isak wasn’t cooperative, than to carry him into bed. He scooped him up with his arms, Isak just grunted, and carried him into bed, undressed him and covered him with the duvet.

“Are you coming, baby? Come here. I need you close.”

“Soon, baby. Soon.” 

Even walked out in the kitchen, made himself something and ate as he stood by the counter. He didn’t even bother to get a glass and drank milk straight from the carton. Five minutes later he was back in his own room, undressing. Slowly he lifted the duvet and got inside, placing himself as close to Isak as he could. Even kissed Isak’s shoulder two times before his head hit the pillow and he past out. 

 

.

Rays of sun hit the wall in the bedroom when Isak woke up to an empty bed. A little disoriented, woken up from surreal dream about both Even, Jonas and Tom, Isak wondered for a few seconds where he was. When he realised he was at Even’s place and saw that Even was missing, he got up and walked into the kitchen to look for him.

“Even?” he asked, scratching his messy hair, but no one answered. He walked into the living room and when he wasn’t there either, he checked the bathroom before ending up in the hall. Even was nowhere and Isak didn’t understand anything. Where was he? It wasn’t before he got back to the kitchen he saw the note on the kitchen table. 

_ Isak <3 _

_ You were sleeping so peacefully and I didn’t want to wake you up. I went to the grocery store at the corner to buy bread and salted ham for us. Get yourself comfy at the couch in the meantime. Back soon.  _

_ XO Even _

Oh my god. Could Even be any sweeter? His heart filled up with love. He took the note and carefully folded it in two, placing it in his wallet. This note was something to keep. 

_ Unknown number:  did he leave you? are you butthurt, crybaby?  _

Isak tossed the phone in a chair, placing himself on the couch with the duvet covering all of him, only his head peeked up. His chest hurt again and soon an old friend came to visit, a cloud right above him, pouring down with rain.

Fifteen minutes later, Even was back and Isak had fallen asleep on the couch. When Even saw him sleeping, he went over to him and tucked the duvet, then kissed his forehead before heading out to the kitchen to make breakfast. 

With a head full of thoughts, he messed up the scrambled eggs, it got too dry. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he had used all the eggs, he would’ve started all over again and it was out of the question to go out again, so he just had to serve the scrambled eggs as they were. 

After placing everything on the table in front of the couch, he woke Isak so they could eat while sitting on the couch. They placed the duvet on top them to keep warm, Isak was still in his boxer and tee. Isak didn’t eat much and took only a small portion of the eggs. 

“Sorry I ruined the eggs. Didn’t mean too. I understand if you don’t want to eat it,” Even said, taking a bite of his slice of bread and sighed. A piece of egg fell down on the carpet under the table. “It’s dry.”

“No, no! It’s not that. Your eggs are fine. It’s just that I’m not that hungry,” Isak replied, taking a zip of the juice. 

“Because of yesterday?”

“Mhm.” Isak nodded. “But you know what?”

“No.”

“No one has ever made me breakfast like this.” Isak smiled. “When I woke up this morning and seeing you were gone, I first got confused, looked for you everywhere. Then I saw your note, and my heart filled up with love. On a rainy day like this, it was much needed. You’re so sweet.” Isak leaned towards Even and gave him a kiss. “I’m keeping the note by the way. I folded it and placed it in my wallet. Will come in handy on future rainy days.” Isak smiled. 

“Oh, Isak!” Even took hold of Isak, cupped his head a showered him with kisses. 

Even cleared the table after breakfast was over and when he asked Isak what he wanted to, if they should go out or anything, Isak just shrugged and couldn’t come up with anything he wanted to do. 

“I’m not really in the mood to do anything.”

“That’s OK. We don’t have to do anything in particular.”

“Sorry for being so boring and dragging you down in my misery.”

“Isak, don’t worry about that. We all have bad days. Let’s just stay here, curled up on the couch, under the duvet and watch something on Netflix.” 

“And kiss.”

“And kiss,” Even repeated smiling.”Maybe you want to take a shower first?” He looked at Isak. Isak looked back at him and it seemed like he was thinking real hard. 

“Only if you join me.” Even had already showered, but didn't mind shower again. 

Five minutes later, they stood in the shower kissing. While the water poured down from the shower head in the roof, Isak prayed that the pain glued to his chest would disappear and the rain in his cloud would evaporate, turning the cloud into cotton candy again. 

 

\-------

**The Squad**

**11:29**

 

Jonas: Anyone up for skating at Skur 13 today?

Mags: I’m in! When?

Madhi: Count me in. I’m all in for hangs. 

Jonas: cool! Isak? Are you with us? Bring Even!

Mags: Earth is calling Isak Valtersen. 

Jonas: meet downtown at 14? I need to help dad with a few things first.

Madhi: yas! 

Mags: Ok.

Jonas: Isak? Hello? where are you? 

 

\-------

 

When Isak came out of the shower he had a missed call from Jonas and there had been activity in the group chat, but he tossed the phone away, thinking he could deal with that later. 

“Hmmm. My sweater is all covered in orange juice.”

“You can borrow one of mine.” Even smiled and opened up his closet. “Take this.” Even tossed him a pink hoodie. “I see it got a stain on it and I should’ve washed it, but I’m a bit behind on that. I hope it’s OK.”

“Pink?”

“Yes. It will match the pink roses in your cheeks.”

Normally Isak would refuse anything with the color pink, it was not his color at all, but he was not in the mood to care about it. Beside, it was Even’s hoodie, it smelled like him and he couldn’t think of anything more comforting right now. He took hold of it, buried his face in the soft fabric and inhaled. 

“What are you doing?” Even laughed.

“Smelling it. It smells good. It smells you.” Once again the pink cheeks revealed itself.

“You’re cute. And now the cheeks matches the sweater. Even walked over to Isak and kissed his nose right after Isak pulled the hoodie over his head. “It’s a bit big for you,” Even stated.

“I don’t care. It’s comfortable. Consider this one lost from now on.”

“Lost?”

“Yes, it’s mine now. Forever mine.” 

The doorbell rang and Even went out to open. Still in Even’s bedroom, Isak heard Even talk to someone. Still feeling a pain in his chest, he walked over and looked at the drawings Even had hung up on the wall. Most of them were dark ones and Isak felt a strong connection to them today. Suddenly he remembered something from the day before. Even had started on a sentence, which seemed important, but stopped before finishing it. Isak was sure Even wanted to say something important, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint why, it was just a gut feeling. Maybe Even once had felt the same as him? 

Lost in his own thoughts, staring at one of Even’s drawings, he didn’t hear Even coming back into the room and he jumped when he said his name. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. What were you thinking of?”

“Oh, just yesterday.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.. yes… uhm.. no.” 

Isak really wanted to talk to Even about his past, a past he didn’t know all that much about, he wanted to know the reason behind his dark drawings and he was curious about the A4 sized black book with a lock on. It was nothing more he wanted to, than to dig deep into Even’s soul and core, but he was too tired to focus on anything but himself at the moment and it made him feel selfish. A tear escaped from the corner of Isak’s eye and of course Even noticed, like he noticed everything that needed to be noticed about Isak. 

“Baby.” Even walked over to Isak and wiped away the tear.

“I’m just tired,” Isak said, trying to smile. “Can we just curl up on the couch? I want to lay close to you.”

“Sure,” he answered and kissed his nose. 

At the couch they ended, Isak wrapped around Even, watching Wall Street and halfway into the movie, Isak fell asleep. 

  
  


\-------

**Mags, Madhi**

**13:45**

 

Jonas: anyone heard from Isak?

Madhi: nope. Still MIA. 

Mags: negative.

Jonas: I just talked to Eva. She saw him yesterday, downtown with Even and he was so quiet. She instantly felt something was wrong. Vilde said the same. 

Madhi: hmm, maybe try to call him again?

Jonas: yeah. I’ll do that. 

Mags: but he was with Even. So it’s not all bad. He’ll take care of him. The way he looks at Isak sometimes, I swear he would cut of his arm for him! 

Madhi: yeah, I’m getting that vibe too! 

Jonas: c u in a few.

Mags: see ya!

Madhi: 8-)

\-------

.

 

Isak abruptly woke up gasping for air, breathing heavily. 

“Baby.” Even looked at Isak, he looked like a deer in the headlights. “Bad dream?”

“Yes,” he said, still trying to catch his breath, chest rapidly going up and down.

Even snuck his hand under the hoodie and tee, placing it on Isak’s chest, trying to calm him down. The warmth from his hand radiated throughout Isak’s body as Even touched the skin of his chest and slowly, while looking into Even’s soft eyes, his breath resumed to a normal rhythm again.

“Tom was after me with a knife or something and I was running. Man I ran so fast, my legs could barely hold me.”

“It was only a dream, baby.” Even leaned forward and kissed his forehead, still with his hand on Isak’s chest. 

“I know, but it was so real.” He sighed. “What time is it?”

“Soon 15.”

“Already? Sorry for falling asleep in the middle of the movie.”

“It’s fine. You’re cute when you’re sleeping.”

“Cute?” Isak rolled his eyes.

“Yes.” Even ruffled his hair, making it even messier than it already was. “Oh, by the way. Your phone rang.”

“Probably Jonas again. He called me earlier, but I didn’t take it. I should get back to him.”

Isak got up and grabbed his phone, saw that Jonas had called him twice, then he read the conversation in the group chat. 

“Was it him?”

“Yeah. The boys wanted us to come to Skur 13, they were gonna skate.”

“I think we’re better off here today,” Even replied and kissed Isak. 

“Me too.”

Even got up to pee and Isak sat on the couch fiddling with his phone, thinking about what to do. It was less than a month since he’d promised himself not to let Jonas out in the dark again, so it was time to talk to him. Maybe they could hang out tomorrow, just the two of them? Wasn’t Even working anyway?

With Even back on the couch, Isak pulled himself close him. 

“Even?” 

“Mhm”

“Are you working tomorrow?”

“Yes. Full day tomorrow. Starting at noon and until we close at 6. You want to come by when we close? I might have some cinnamon buns left for you. We can hang after we’ve closed up.”

“That sounds lovely, but I was thinking of seeing Jonas tomorrow. I promised myself not to let Jonas out in the dark again. We need to talk. It’s been awhile since we’ve hung out just the two of us. I think I need some alone time with him. Is that OK with you?”

“Of course. I totally understand. Go be with Jonas. We’ll have plenty of time to hang out.”

“Thank you. I should text him.”

 

\-------

**Best bud Jonas**

**15:12**

Yo!

Ay!

Sorry for being MIA.

Is everything OK? Eva met you yesterday and you seemed a bit off. 

I’m fine, sort of. Even and I met Tom yesterday.

He told Even everything about London.

Oh fuck

Yeah. Every time I see him, he fucks me up. Sigh. So I’m not the mood for anything. Sorry for being so boring.

It’s fine. Where are you now?

At Even’s apartment. He’s amazing ❤ Don’t know what I would’ve done without him. 

❤

Any plans tomorrow? 

Nah. Not yet. Just chill at home I guess.

Can I come over? I want to hang and talk. It’s been awhile since it’s just been the two of us. 

I always have time for my best bud.

Thx. 

Oh btw, I got the new FIFA game. I’m bringing it.

Yass! 

How did you afford that btw?

Grandma gave me money. Said I should spend it on something useful. 

Hahahaha.

Gotta go now. The boys are calling. 

<3

Peacenluv 

 

\-------

 

.

 

Isak put on his cap, hiding the messy hair. He let out a yawn, being still tired. Tom had chased him in his dream again and even though Even had woken up and calmed him down, made him fall back into sleep almost right away, he was still tired standing outside Even’s apartment waiting for him to come back. 

“Now I think I got everything,” Even said chuckling, as the door closed behind them. 

Unconsciously, Isak took a look around as they started to walk, worrying Tom would be around. He grabbed Even’s hand and his heart fluttered as he accepted the invitation. It was such a small thing, holding hands, but it meant so much to Isak. He felt safe and proud at the same time.  

“You know what?” Isaks asked as they neared the tram stop. 

“No.”

“Remember that second time we hung out, when we went to the park and ate pizza?”

“Mmmhm.”

“When we were heading home, I remember wanting to hold your hand, but I didn’t dare.”

“Awww. You didn’t dare?”

“I was afraid of what you would think. It was only six months since I had been in the closet, scared of coming out. I wasn’t sure if you were ready.”

“I would’ve held your hand. I wanted to hold your hand when I saw you the second day of school.”

“Huh? Did you notice me before I came to Kaffebrenneriet for the first time?”

“Yes, I saw you the second day at school.”

“Oh.”

“ I don’t know if you remember, but I came by to ask for a lighter?”

“If I don’t remember?” Isak abruptly stopped walking, then pushed Even up against a wall. “I nearly died when you came by,” Isak said pressing his lips against Even’s. “I couldn’t say a thing. Oh my god, it was so embarrassing.”

“You seemed a bit lost yes.” Even laughed into Isak’s mouth, sucking on his lower lip.  

“That was all your fault.” 

“My fault, what did I do?”

“You showed off your ocean blue eyes, soft lips and fluffy, cotton candy hair.” Isak breathed into Even mouth, sucking his lips, making it impossible for Even to say something. 

“Was… that… all…?” Even responded between the kisses.

“All? As if that wasn’t enough? It was, baby. I was convinced I needed you in my life after you asked for that lighter and I was right. I need you.” Isak didn’t let go of Even’s mouth and played around with his lips for minutes. 

“I’m gonna miss my buss, Isak.”

“Take the next one.”

“I’ll be late for work.”

“But your lips, I haven’t kissed you enough this weekend. And now we’re parting for the day.” 

“You’ll have my lips back in less than 24 hours.”

“Fine. I hate it when you’re so responsible.”

“I’m not always like that.” He mumbled.

“Good.”

“I’m not so sure,” Even mumbled again, looking lost in his own thoughts.

Isak reluctantly let go of Even and ushered him to the tram stop at Schou’s Plass, seeing the tram coming.

“We’ll talk tonight!” Even yelled blowing kisses into the air. 

 

.

 

“It’s so good to see you.” Maria hugged Isak. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah. I’ve been a bit busy,” Isak excused himself. 

“With a boyfriend I hear.” Her smile was wide and her eyes sparkled. 

“Yes.”

“I’m so happy for you. What’s his name again? I think Jonas told me, but I have forgotten.”

“Even.”

“Your age?”

“A year older.”

“How is he?”

“He’s fantastic,” Isak replied looking blessed. “He’s really one of a kind.”

“Mum! He didn’t come for you, you know. It’s me that he’s seeing.” Jonas complained. 

“I know, but can’t I have a conversations with my favorite friend of yours?”

“Yeah, yeah. Please don’t feed his ego any more, will you.”

“Favorite friend,” Isak repeated overwhelmed by joy. “Do you wanna join us playing FIFA, favorite friend mum?” Isak grinned and pulled up his new game from his plastic bag. 

“I think I’ll pass or Jonas will kill me,” she laughed. “You want to stay for dinner? We’re eating at 17 and I’m making a mexican stew.”

“Sure.” Isak looked at Jonas, then back at Maria. “If Jonas doesn’t want to kick me out before that time.”

“Depends on how obnoxious you’ll get during FIFA,” he chuckled. 

“OK. Then I’ll count you in.”

Jonas and Isak walked into Jonas’s room, locking the door behind them and crash on Jonas’ couch. He turned on the TV and found the controllers, gave one to Isak. Suddenly he looked at Isaks’s pink sweater, then at Isak and back at the pink sweater again. 

“Uhhh bro, what’s up with the pink sweater?”

“It’s Even’s.” Isak smiled widely. 

“But it’s pink? You hate pink.” 

“Yeah. But I needed to borrow a sweater and that was what he gave me, all he had available, that wasn’t dirty. It smells of him, so I don’t mind.” Isak took hold of the sweater and buried his face in it, inhaling.

“Jesus Christ. What happened to Isak?” Jonas laughed. “That’s the most sappy thing I’ve heard in a long time, or seen for that matter. I just gagged a little.”

“Whatever.” Isak rolled his eyes. 

“But seriously.” Jonas straighten up and cleared his throat, like he was going to say something important. “I’m digging that you’re so in love. You two seem to have something good going on.” 

“We do. I think Even is the best thing that have happened to me. This weekend-” Isak paused. “He’s been amazing.”

“Oh yeah, about that-”

“I was so afraid he would be disgusted when he found about everything. But he’s been nothing but cool.”

“I knew it all along, from the first time I met him. He’s this soft, gentle guy.” Jonas put down his controller, fell back into the bed, staring into the ceiling. “What about- ugh, I don’t wanna say that fuckers name. What happened exactly? Where did you meet?”

Isak took a deep breath, feeling a tie knot in his belly and chest tighten a bit again, but it was no way back. This was what he’d come for, this was what he’d promised himself and he didn’t want to break that promise. His best friend deserved to know and this was what best friends did, they shared things, even the difficult stuff. 

“Seriously, what’s wrong with that dude? I imagine him going home, jerking off, feeling satisfied having ruined someone's day. He’s a real psychopath.” Jonas shook his head, having heard Isak tell what happened on friday.

“If I only knew how to not care? I turn into this depressed and angry bundle every time I meet him. It’s so tiring.” Isak sighed.  

“I dunno. Time heal all wounds, someone once said. Maybe there’s something in that?”

“Time?” Isak looked at him. “Then time surely is taking its time.” 

“I dunno.” Jonas repeated. “I’m not very good at these things.”

“You’re all right. It’s OK that you don’t have all the answers. You’re here, you listen, you understand. You’re not stupid and laughs at my problems.”

“You sure have turned into this soft bundle,” Jonas stated. 

“Whatever.” Isak rolled his eyes, faked being offended. Secretly he liked being a soft bundle. It was better than being angry all the time, walking around trying to be tough.

“Soft,  _ pink _ , bundle.” Jonas said, laughing, emphasis on the word pink. 

“Don’t diss my pink sweater.”

“OK. I’ll try not to.”

“Can we talk about something more uplifting? All this talk about you know who just makes me depressed,” Isak sighed.

“How about we turn on that FIFA game so I can beat your sorry ass?” 

“Hah! You wish!” Isak snorted. “When we end this game you’ll wonder what the hell happened!”

 

.

 

Isak closed the door behind him and before he had taken off his shoes, he heard Eskild shout of from the kitchen.  _ Baby bean, is it you? _ Isak hung his jacket on a hook next to the door and walked into the kitchen. 

“Baby Isak! Where have you been? I started to get a little worried, you haven’t been here all weekend.”

“I’ve been at Even’s place all weekend.”

“A little nudge in papa Eskilds direction wouldn’t have hurt, you know.” Eskild winked. 

“Sorry, my mind was preoccupied with stuff, “ Isak stated, letting out sigh. 

“Everything OK?”

“It is now I think, at least better than friday and yesterday. I just saw no, Even and I, we met Tom on friday,” Isak explained and told Eskild the short version of what had happened. 

“Jesus Christ! I’m not allowing anyone to treat my little bean like this. If I ever see that scumbag, I’m gonna punch him so hard he has trouble getting up again!” Eskild showed Isak his hook and instantly Isak started to laugh out loud. “What’s so funny baby bean?”

“Are you gonna use your hook? Eskild, you’re far from strong enough. I doubt you have any hook at all.”

“Pfft. I can punch him.”

“No, you can’t.” Isak was still laughing. “Remember that guy this summer? The one that offended you outside Burger King? You tried to punch him and before you even managed to clench your fist, he had already punched you in the face.”

“I was blue around my eye for days. UGH.”

“You’ve tried to forget that, I believe?”

“Not my finest moment, you know. But seriously, I would try to punch him.”

“Thanks, Eskild. But I don’t think that will be necessary.”

“I’ll go to my room now, I got some important stuff to do.” Isak poured water in a glass and turned around, ready to leave. 

“Baby bean?”

“I’m not your baby bean, Eskild.”

“Yes you are. But what’s up with that pink, oversized sweater?”

“It’s Even’s.” Isak blushed.

“You’re so adorable. If my squad had seen you on friday, omg, they would’ve gone bananas. Baby bean with the curls and a pink sweater. Even would’ve been jealous, all those guys drooling over you.”

“Whatever.” Isak laughed and walked out of the kitchen. 

  
  


\-------

**Even <3**

**20:43**

 

Survived work?

Yes. Missed you though ❤

That thing you did while waiting for the tram…

what about it?

I get a boner thinking about it. HOT!

I’ll do it again tomorrow. 

❤

How did it go at Jonas’ place?

It was great.

I reckon you beat him in FIFA?

Ehhh…

No?

Not focused enough.

That’s what they all say.  haha. 

His mum told me I was her son's fav friend ❤❤❤

haha.

I agree. I like you best out of Jonas’ friends ❤

❤

This is for you. Because you made this weekend so special. 

[ https://open.spotify.com/track/0FDzzruyVECATHXKHFs9eJ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/0FDzzruyVECATHXKHFs9eJ)

 

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars

I'm gonna give you my heart

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars

'Cause you light up the path

 

I don't care, go on and tear me apart

I don't care if you do, ooh

'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars

I think I saw you

 

'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars

I wanna die in your arms

'Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark

I'm gonna give you my heart

 

I don't care, go on and tear me apart

I don't care if you do, ooh

'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars

I think I see you

I think I see you

 

'Cause you're a sky, you're a sky full of stars

Such a heavenly view

You're such a heavenly view

 

I see Sirius, can you see it?

Wait, let me get to the window sill.

Yes, I see it. 

Whenever I look at it, I think about you. 

❤❤❤ Our star!

[ https://open.spotify.com/track/4eHbdreAnSOrDDsFfc4Fpm ](https://open.spotify.com/track/4eHbdreAnSOrDDsFfc4Fpm)

Omg, Even. Whitney?! Can it get any cheesier? 

Don’t diss Whitney, she’s a legend. And she’s six feet under you know. 

Legend Smedgend. I don’t care, six feet under or not. Whitney?  RLY?

It made you smile didn’t it?

It did

Mission Completed ✔

You ❤

Who diz happy guy?

 

WTH! Where did you get that picture from?!

Gaah. Jonas!!! >:-/

It’s me in my fav new sweater if you must know :)

So adorable ❤❤❤

  
  


\-------

**Evi ❤**

**23:17**

 

Payback time!

https://open.spotify.com/track/4WUnM4KNZ0kjp0CUeoyOnS

All-4-One - I swear.

I had to listen to so many shitty songs to find this one.


	11. Intermediate pt. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii :) Story update bonanza, wohooo! Thanks for reading <3<3<3

Isak was still shaken by what Tom had done, but it didn’t feel as bad this time, now that Even had been there to help him get through things and being so loving and understanding. Even had really showed that Isak had nothing to worry about regarding their relationship. It also felt good talking to Jonas about it. The more you share a problem, the smaller it become Jonas had once said, and it was true.

Still, with problems shared, he couldn’t completely shake of the pain in the chest. Everything lingered in the back of his head and he wondered when Tom would stop, when Tom would get bored of it and find something else to do. Would he ever stop? If he was anything like his sister, he doubted he would ever come to his senses. It seemed like bullshit was attached to the core of their soul.  

 

**.**

 

\-------

**Sarah >:-/**

**20:12**

 

Hi :)

Hi???

What do you want?

I’ve seen you with Even lately, how are things?

Why the fuck do you care?

I just heard some rumors that he had to change school because he was crazy? I thought you would like to know.

And did you know that P-Chris tried to seduce Eva! I think she was smitten and if it hadn’t been for the fact that she’s with Jonas, I’m sure she would’ve gone for it!

Fuck you, Sarah. I don’t give a shit about you and your rumors. Good lord I hated all that shit you sent my way back when. Jeeze, I had forgotten how it felt.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you when shit hits the fan!

\-------

 

Even crazy? What the hell was she talking about? Even was perfectly fine. Isak shook his head and wondered if Sarah ever would grow up.

 

\-------

**Evi ❤**

**23.17**

Goodnight bby

G'nite Evi

Love you lots

Love you more

Love you the most

Love you infinite

❤ ❤ ❤

See you at school tomorrow

Can't wait. 

Me neither. 

Sweet dreams ❤

I'll dream of you ❤

\-------

 

 

 


	12. The Explotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely readers. I guess I'm kinda sorry for this chapter? Poor Even :( Poor Isak. Hopefully everyting will be OK in the end <3<3<3

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_ When Isak eyed his watch tuesday morning it was 07.30 and it was only 50 minutes until first class of the day was about to start. He had overslept and had to rush not to be late. Isak jumped out of bed, skipped showering and put on the first he found in the closet. The hoodie had a stain on it, but it was not time to be picky on clothes. Quickly he brushed his teeth and peed, then grabbed his burgundy cap and put on his sneakers. Hastily he ran down the stairs, only to see it was raining outside. _Fuck!_ He had still no raincoat and the umbrella was left upstairs.

Isak ran through the rain and was exhausted when he came to the tram stop at Brugata 8 minutes later. Breathless he cursed his own fitness, trying to squeeze in under the roof of the tram stop, not got get any wetter than he already was.

His phone was full of notifications, both Jonas and Magnus had called. An update in the Squad group and a few Instagram notifications blinked at the top of corner of the phone. _They are probably wondering where I am_ Isak thought to himself and opened the yoghurt he’d grabbed from the fridge on the way out. It wasn’t his, but he was hungry and there were no time to make any breakfast. He made a mental note to buy a new yoghurt on the way home from school today. Two scoops into the yoghurt, he spilled some, half of it on his history book he was reading in due to a test that day and half on his jeans. _Fuck!_

This can’t be a good day, he thought to himself as he hopped off the tram and walked the three minutes it took to get to school. He eyed his phone again, seeing it was 12 minutes until class started, at least he wouldn’t be late. Maybe he should let the guys know he was on his way?

Isak opened the group chat to see what they had written.

\-------

**the Squad**

**06:45**

 

Jonas: Isak!!! Have you seen the Insta posts about Even? WTF is happening??

Madhi: bro, what the actual fuck?!

Mags: jesus christ!!! what is that shit?

Mags: have you talked to Even?

Jonas: Isak??? you there??

 

Mags: bro, where are you??

 

\-------

 

Isak stared at the conversation, not understanding anything. What Insta post about Even? What the hell were they talking about? A bit shaky, he opened Instagram, only to see that he’d been tagged in no less than four instapost.

All of the insta posts were about Even. The first one was a picture of him as a devil with the text ‘crazy bipolar devil’, the next was another picture of Even and the rest was screenshots of a facebook chat where Even supposedly had gone bananas and written lots of shit. Lots of people had been tagged in the photos, all the boys, the girl squad and other people at school and on Elvebakken, Even’s last school.

_Unknown number: Good morning baby Isak. Your boyfriend is a crazy devil, hahaha. Are you crying? Butthurt now?_

Without realizing it, he let out a scream as he opened the door to entrance A, where he had his first class. His chests tightened so badly, like someone was having a firm grip around his lungs, squeezing hard, makeing it difficult to breath. It felt like someone was stabbing him repeatedly with a knife and that a panic attack was on its way. Someone was yelling something, it might be his name, but he was too paralyzed to understand what it was or where it came from.

Suddenly he felt his belly revolting and even though he rushed into the toilet, he wasn’t fast enough. Bending over the toilet seat, a gush of yoghurt escaped his mouth , half of it missing the toilet.

“Isak?” Jonas suddenly stood behind him.

“Aaahh” Isak screamed in agony.

“Are you OK?” He asked and Isak only grunted back, still bent over the toilet.

Jonas found lots of paper, handed it to Isak so he could dry his face and clean up the mess he’d created. The face Jonas saw when Isak turned around was something he’d seen before. Isak looked exactly the same as he did that day he had been outed as gay on Instagram. He was pale, his whole body was shaking and his eyes looked terrified and confused.

“What the fuck is happening, Jonas?” His voice nearly cracked as he spoke.

“I don’t understand shit!” Jonas excused himself.

“Have you seen Even? Fuck, I need to find Even.”

“Haven’t seen him today. Maybe he’s in class already?”

Isak picked up his phone and dialled Even’s number, but no one picked it up. He tried to call him three more times, but no one answered.

“He’s not responding.” Isak could not hold back his tears any longer. “What the fuck is happening?” he asked through the tears.

“Let’s go outside and sit for a minute.”

Jonas took hold of Isak and guided him out of the toilet. In the hallway they met Eva, who joined them out to a bench nearby.

“Eva?” Jonas asked.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe you can go and check if Even is in class. Do you know where he was supposed to be today?”

“I think it’s room 205.” he answered, covering his eyes with his hands, trying to get control of his breathing, still shaking.

“Sure!”

Eva jumped off the bench and ran inside. Three minutes later she was back. No one had seen Even this morning. Eva sat next to Isak and wrapped herself around him, giving him a big hug. Isak didn’t say anything, just stared aimlessly out in the air, crying. Eva gave him some comforting words, but nothing else than seeing Even would calm him down right now.

\-------

**Mags, Madhi**

**08:23**

 

Jonas: Ay, I found Isak. We’re skipping first class. He a total mess because of this shit.

Jonas: No one has seen Even yet. Can’t get the hold of him.  

Mags: OK. Take care of him.

Madhi: ait. <3

\-------

 

Getting control of his tears, Isak tried to call Even again, but no one picked up. He looked at their chat and saw that it was nine hours since they had talked and sometime after that had Even seen those horrible Insta post and having his whole world collapse. Isak took a look at the insta posts again and the pain in his chest increased as he read, but he needed to read all of it. Suddenly he saw that Sana was tagged in one of the post.

_Ay @therealsanabakkoush! You can confirm this, that Even is crazy/bipolar. Didn’t your brother use to hang out with that crazy shitkid._

“Eva?” Isak asked, drying his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. His favorite jacket was now covered in snot, but he couldn’t care less.

“Mhm.”

“Has Sana mentioned Even at any point? Do they know each other?”

“She’s never talked about him. If she knows him, she hasn’t said anything to us at least.”

“But why she keep it a secret if she knew Even? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Nothing makes sense, Jonas,” Isak complained. “Not a fucking thing! I need to talk to Sana.”

“She’s not at school.”

“Why not?”

“Dentist appointment. Will be back after lunch.”

“Fuck” Isak muttered. “I don’t get why Even isn’t responding, why doesn’t he want to talk to me?”

“He’s probably in shock or something. Just think about it, if this is true, this might have been Even’s biggest secret. You know how it is to get that exposed.”

“Yes,” Isak sighed.

“Just let things calm down a bit. I’m sure he’ll call you tonight or something.”

“I hope so. If not I’ll go mental.”

They all sat in silence for a few minutes, staring out it the air.

“Who does something like this?” Eva suddenly said, breaking the silence.

“I know who does things like this. Tom does this kind of things!”

“Tom? But why?” Eva wondered.

“Because he’s a crazy motherfucking psycho,” Jonas answered harsley, clenching his fist. “I should’ve knocked him down when I had the chance.”

Suddenly it dawned on Isak that this was probably his own fault. If it hadn’t been for him, Tom would never had done this to Even.

“It’s all my fault,” he said tearfully.

“Your fault?” Eva and Jonas looked at Isak, not understanding what he meant.

“If it hadn’t been for me, this would never have happened.”

“Isak.” Eva took hold of his hand and squeezed it. “It’s not your fault.”

“This is all Tom’s fault, don’t you ever take the blame for this.” Jonas raised his voice. “That fucker, he’s not letting off the hook for this. Next time I see him, I will kick his ass. And I don’t fucking care if you tell me not to. Nobody fucks with my friends like this! Nobody.” Jonas’ face was all red and his eyes were dark.

“This time you have my permission,” Isak said quietly.

“No one is fighting anyone,” Eva said patting both of them on their thighs. “We don’t even know if it’s Tom’s doing.”

“I’m sure,” Isak said, unlocking his phone and showing both Eva and Jonas the text message he’d gotten this morning.

_Unknown number: Good morning baby Isak. I see your boyfriend is a crazy devil, hahaha. Are you crying? Butthurt now?_

 

**.**

 

They day crawled away and Isak couldn’t focus on anything. The history test went south. All that he had learned the last few days, was erased from his mind and the little things he remember got mixed up, so he was unsure if any of his answers were right. Not that he cared, nothing cared at the moment. The only thing he thought about was how to get in touch with Even. He needed to talk to him, to sort out this huge mess.

Walking from one classroom to another, Isak suddenly saw Sana passing him hastily in the hall. She didn’t stop to talk like she normally would, she didn’t say hi or even look at him.

“Sana!”

“Can’t talk now. I’m late for class.”

“Please, Sana,” he begged. “Please, I need to talk to you.” He grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop.

“Isak…”

“I just need to know. Do you know Even and is there any truth in what’s written? I can’t reach him, he’s not picking up the phone and he’s not at school.”

“I ca..”

“Please, pretty please!” Isak begged desperately. He had to control himself not to start cry again. This was his chance to finally get some information and he couldn’t let that chance go.

“OK. Come here.” Sana ushered him into the copy room and locked the door.

“I know Even OK …”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why keep it a secret?”

“Because… just because. He was.. is… used to be a friend of my brother.”

“Used to? Aren’t they friends anymore?”

“I… it’s complicated.”

“Even told me he changed school because he needed a change. Has these things that are posted on insta something to do with it? Is he crazy?”

“He’s not crazy, Isak!” Sana’s voice was firm. “He’s… I shouldn’t be talking about this.”

“Sick?”

“Bipolar.”

“Bipolar? What?”

“I’ve said too much, Isak. This isn’t my story to tell. I can’t say more. I shouldn’t have said anything at all.” Isak knew Sana was right, she shouldn’t tell him things Even didn’t want people to know, but he was desperate.

“Bipolar,” he repeated. “How…”

“Sorry, I can’t tell you more.”

Sana unlocked the door and walked out of the copy room, leaving Isak behind. He sunk down on the floor, staring aimlessly into the wall, feeling dizzy. His chest hurt and he felt like throwing up again. _Bipolar._ What was that? Was he like his mum?

“Are you hiding from your loco boyfriend?”

Isak looked up realizing the door was open. Sarah, his ex girlfriend, stood in the opening looking down at him.

“Fuck you, Sarah. Just fuck you.”

“Oooh, feisty. I told you didn’t I? I knew he was crazy.”

“Fuck you and your fucking loser of a brother for doing this to Even.”

“What? Are you accusing my brother of doing this?”

“Yes!”

“Don’t drag my brother into this, please. Jesus Christ!”

“He is responsible for this, just as he was when the same thing happened to me.”

“Seems like it’s not only your boyfriend that is loco.” 

Isak rose from the floor.

“Fuck you, Sarah!” he yelled as she turned around, ready to walk away. Students looked at them wondering what happened. “What the fuck are you looking at? Show’s over!” Isak grabbed his backpack ready to go to class when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he saw Magnus. 

“Ay, what’s up?”

“Fucking Sarah! That’s what up. She called Even loco.”

“She hasn’t changed I see.”

“Sana told me he is bipolar.”

“Who?”

“Even.”

“Oh, he’s bipolar.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You have periods where you down, you know depressed, and you have periods where you are high up. These periods can be anything from just a few days to weeks and even months. It all depends...”

“Depends… on what?”

“It’s individual.”

“Do people who are bipolar get locked up? Like in a psych ward?”

“It depends that too.” Magnus paused. “It’s all individual, if you’re on meds or not and such. Every people is a unique case.” Isak looked at him wondering, when did Magnus become so wise? How did he know all these things?

“How do you know all this?”

“Mum is bipolar.”

“Huh? You’re mum? But… I’ve met her, she’s normal.”

“Yeah, she just have her periods. Do you have class now by the way?”

“Yes.” Isak sighed out loud.

“Aaah, crap. I thought maybe we could go somewhere to talk a little. I’ve had the last class of the day.”

“Fuck it. I can’t focus anyway. Screw math class! This day have been so fucked up. Where do you wanna go?”

“Mc. Donalds?”

“I’m nearly broke.”

“I got some money. I’ll treat you a burger and fries.”

“Thank you, Mags.”

They walked over to Mc. Donalds and while Magnus ordered food for them, Isak found a place they could sit.

“How does Sana know Even is bipolar by the way?”

“She knows Even.”

“Huh? She knows him? But...how? why didn’t you know?”

“Her brother, Elias, is a friend of him. Or was. She was a bit unclear.”

“And she never mentioned this? You’re like friends. Hmm.”

“I know. She said it was not her story to tell. Maybe Even didn’t want anyone to know. She hardly wanted to tell me anything, I had to drag it out of her.” Isak paused, taking a bite of his burger. “And now I feel bad.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s something private, Even being bipolar. I’m pretty sure Even didn’t want anyone to know. But I had to know. I need to know what’s going on.” Isak sighed again, pushing the burger away. Suddenly he wasn’t hungry anymore.

“Yeah, but you kind of knew something was wrong anyway, you just got it confirmed.”

“Yeah-” Isak placed his head in his hands. “How is it to live with your mum?” he asked, thinking about Magnus’ mum again.

“Mum is amazing. She just have days she’s high up and days when she’s depressed.”

“But is she like crazy? Does she do weird things like run naked in the streets or I don’t know?”

“She’s never done anything like that. She’s on meds, so her mood swings aren’t that high.”

“What about when she’s depressed?”

“Then she’s down, not so happy, apathetic.”

“How do you deal with that?”

“You just take it slow. I remember what dad said back when my mum was diagnosed. We just take one day at the time, or one hour. And if even that is too difficult, we could just think about the next minute.”

Magnus looked at Isak with a gentle smile and Isak had a hard time recognizing him. He’d never seen Magnus like this before. He had always thought of Magnus as the goofy one, the one with the stupid ideas and a person who often spoke before thinking. Now he was the opposite.

“And that is how I think you are gonna handle things. You take things slow with Even when things get difficult.”

“But what if I can’t handle it, I moved out of mum’s apartment, partly because of her illness.”

“Let me tell you something Isak. I’ve known you for some years now, it’s five isn’t it?” Isak nodded. “I’ve never seen you as happy as you are with Even. The way you two look at each other. It’s like taken out of a picture perfect American love story. And when you got love, you can do anything.”

“But, I don’t know. Love doesn’t fix everything,” Isak objected.

“I know, but it’s a good start. And what is the option? Give up, not try at all? Leave Even when he needs someone the most? Do you want to do that?”

“No-” Isak sighed. The thought of leaving Even behind, was so awful. How could he after all he’d done for him? “Even if you’re right, I- I can’t even get a hold of him. He doesn’t pick when I call or answer my texts.”

“Give him some time. He will get back to you.”

They sat like, having an insightful conversation about Magnus’s mum, Even and mental illnesses long after they finished eating. Isak tossed half of the burger before they left Mc. Donalds. His belly was revolting, almost causing him to throw up the little he had eaten. Looking at Magnus before they were going separate ways, he couldn’t help but cry.

“Oh god, are you crying? Please don’t cry.” Magnus looked a bit embarrassed.  

“I can’t help it. I’ve always seen you as this goofball and look at you! I feel so bad! Thank you!” He leaned forward and wrapped himself around Magnus, giving him a big hug.

“Hugging too?” Magnus asked, feeling squashed. “Where is Isak?”

“Get used to it. This is how gay Isak is.” He looked at Magnus and smiled through the tears. “Soft, sappy and full of hugs.”

“Haha. OK. I guess I can get used to that.”

“But seriously. Thank you so much. It feels a tiny bit better having some valuable insight.”

“Anytime bro!”

Getting home, Isak locked himself up in his room. The fact that he had wondered if he could deal with Even, if he should give up without trying, made him feel ashamed. Dealing with a mental illness was far from easy, but how could he walk away after all Even had done for him?

He had to try, he had to give Even a chance, he had to give them a chance.

\-------

 **Evi** ❤

**19:38**

 

I don’t know what to say.

I know things are difficult now and I wish I could hold you close and hug you. Love you!

❤❤❤❤

 

\-------

After texting Even, he placed himself on the bed, opened up google and typed _bipolar_. Lots of different sites came up, giving more or less the same info. Isak read everything he came across, trying to learn as much as possible about the illness.

As he digested site after site, he tried to look back to see if there had been any signs of the illness, but he couldn’t come up with any. Even had been like every other guy, apart from the fact that he was most definitely not like every other guy. He was big hearted, extremely thoughtful, understanding and compassionate and not to forget kind. There wasn’t an ounce of bad thing in him. There had been things he felt he had been hiding from him, and he hadn’t talked about any of his friends, but that didn’t mean he was sick. It could’ve been hundreds of reasons why.

Suddenly he came to think of the drawings in Even’s room. Only now he fully understood them, he probably had drawn them while being depressed. It was beautiful drawings, although very dark and sad, but his heart ached by the thought that there had been so many of them.

A faint knock on the the door pulled Isak out of his own string of thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“It’s Noora, can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

Noora opened door and walked over to Isak’s bed, sat down at the end of it, looking softly at Isak.

“How are you holding up?” she asked tilting her head a little, pulling a string of hair behind her ear. “Have you heard from Even yet?”

“No,” Isak shook his head and started to cry, wondering if there would be an end to the tears.”I must’ve called him like ten times today.”

“Mhm.” Noora let out a sigh. “I heard Sana confirmed he is bipolar.”

“And now I’m so afraid he thinks I don’t want anything to do with him. The chest hurts just by the thought of it, because I don’t care, I want Even, all of Even.”

“Yeah, but if he’s like depressed now, he might need some time accept that. I’m not sure, I’m an expert on these things.” Noora sighed again.

_Hello Lovelies, Eskild is home!_

“Baby bean! What’s wrong?” The door to Isak’s room was open and Eskild walked right in as usual, placing himself on the bed.  

“There’s this thing that have happened to Even,” Noora started and told Eskild what had happened.

“Oh. My. God.” Eskild just gaped when Noora had finished talking and Isak saw right through him, not blinking. “Poor angel. How awful! People are so cruel.” Eskild crawled up in bed and took a good grip around Isak, giving him a long and warm hug. “You need a game plan! Have you tried to visit him?”

“No-”

“Do that tomorrow. Go visit him. Bring a friend as moral support. I can join you if you want. I’ll just tell Jean-Claude there is an emergency I need to take care of.”

Noora had jumped into bed now and placed her next to Isak, tousling his hair.

“Thanks, Eskild,” Isak said through the tears. “But I’ve already asked Jonas if he would join me and he said yes.”

“No worries, baby bean. I’m just glad you have someone with you. You shouldn’t be alone in this. Not Even either.”

Noora and Eskild stayed in Isak’s bed for a while, comforting Isak and reassuring him things would be fine in the end. No matter how much he wanted to believe that, he wasn’t so sure.

 

\-------

**Evi ❤**

**00:20**

 

[ https://open.spotify.com/track/12QrHJtNuduYqg921v5l7U ](https://open.spotify.com/track/12QrHJtNuduYqg921v5l7U)

Because the night belongs to lovers, because the night belongs to us ❤

\-------

 

Isak sent Even the song he had played for him that wednesday in september when he’d taken him to Grefsenkollen, in a desperate attempt to make him remember how beautiful that evening had been. To try make him see that they did belong to each other.

 

**.**

 

The tram was crowded with students and people going home from work. Isak sat in the back of the tram, face looking out, with Jonas beside him. His left foot were rapidly and uncontrollably going up and down. The day had gone by in a haze and he couldn’t really remember which classes he’d taken or what the teachers had spoken about. All he could think about was Even.

His stomach growled, he had hardly eaten anything the whole day, his appetite were missing. Whenever he tried to eat something, he felt like throwing up the next minute. A prominent pain was stapled to his chest, and it didn’t matter what he was doing, it would not go away.

_Beep. Beep._

Isak flinched by the sound of his phone and he lost his grip, making the phone hit the floor and sail away to the other side of the isle. Jonas got up, excused himself a few times and bent down to fetch it from under a seat.

“Is it Even?” Isak asked desperately. Jonas looked at the phone.

“No. It’s an unknown number.”

Isak just shook his head and looked out of the window again, biting his tongue, concentrating on not let out a high pitched squeal. He knew who was texting him. Jonas opened up the phone, knowing Isak being OK with it, and saw a text that couldn’t be from no other than the motherfucking psychopath himself, a name Jonas now had given Tom.

_Isak and Even sitting in a three. W.E.E.P.I.N.G. Both buthurt, right? whahaha._

Jonas’s fist clenched and knew that if he’d seen Tom in that very moment, he would’ve knocked him down on the spot, with so much force his front teeth would pop out of his mouth and blood splatter all over the place. And he would not regret it.  

“What the fuck am I going to say?” Isak suddenly said, standing outside the door, looking at the doorbell with a tag saying Even B. Næsheim / Ingrid B. Næsheim.

“Just say who you are and ask if it’s OK to come up, if you can see Even.”

“But what if she doesn’t know who I am? What if he hasn’t said anything about me?”

Isak suddenly realized that he knew nothing about what Even had told his mum. Did she know anything all? Even hadn’t told him anything. A thousand thoughts went through his mind at once, should he say he was a friend? a very close friend? or his boyfriend? Standing there paralyzed, lost in his own thoughts, Jonas walked up to the door and pressed the doorbell a couple of times.   

“Jonas! Why the fuck did you do that?”

“Sorry, but someone had to do it. We haven’t gotten here just to leave again.”

“Aaaaahhh.”

It felt like time stood still and Isak thought his heart were about to pop out of his chest any minute, it raced so fast, faster than ever before. Nothing happened, so Jonas hit the bell once more. They stood, in total silence, looking like two frightened kids, staring at the little speaker on the side of the door, both tense, wondering if a voice soon would appear. But nothing happened and even though Isak hadn’t felt so unprepared, so terrified or uncomfortable in a long time, the disappointment of no one answering hit him like a baseball bat in the back of his head.

“Can I just throw myself in the river let it take me wherever?”

 


	13. The revival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy friday and happy weekend everyone. Here's a new chapter. When things hit the bottom, it can only get better right? Enjoy reading and you know I would love to hear what you all thinks about this <3<3<3

As Isak walked passed Blå he heard loud music from inside the club. Crossing the bridge, he passed a couple of girls all dressed up, probably ready for a night out at Blå. He pictured them drinking, laughing and dancing until the club closed, then maybe head somewhere for a afterparty.

Himself were going to try visit Even again for the third day in a row. Jonas had said he would come as moral support again, but Isak had changed his mind and told him he wanted go alone. It had been really nice to have Jonas by his side the two last days, but today he felt like being alone.

So Jonas joined the other guys in a gaming night at Madhi’s place, with pizza and a shitload of candy and had told Isak to come over if he couldn’t get hold of Even. But Isak knew that if he didn’t have any luck in meeting Even today, he would just go home, hide in his room and stare aimlessly out in the air. He was not in the mood for any gaming or pizza, no matter how much Jonas thought it would help.

Walking passed Syng, his heart made a jump and instantly made him think about that karaoke night they had last month, where Even had picked a Bee Gees song and forced him to join him on stage. At first it had been really embarrassing, knowing that lots of people from school was watching them, but they ended the song singing from the top of their lungs, having a great time. The memory put a brief smile on his face.

Outside the apartment building, Isak had to compose himself, take a few deep breath before hitting the doorbell.

Riiiiing!

“Hello?”

Isak got startled by the female voice, not expecting anyone to answer so fast, or even answer at all.

“Hi...” A silence occurred. “

“Who’s there?”

“Uhm… It’s Isak Valtersen,” he started, wondering if he was too formal or not.

“Oh, Isak! Come on up.”

Even’s mum buzzed him inside and Isak walked inside, wonder what to say when she opened the door. He couldn’t remember last time he’d been so nervous about meeting someone before. His hands were sweaty and his heart raced so fast.  

A tall woman with with curly blond hair and blue eyes, wearing jeans and a dark green woolen sweater greeted him when he came up to the fourth floor. It was easy to see this was Even’s mum, there was so many similarities.

“Hi, I’m Isak.” Isak stretched out his hand, offering her a handshake.

“I’m Ingrid,” she replied. “Come in!” Ingrid backed letting Isak in and Isak took off his shoes and jacket, placing it on a hook beside the door.

“So this is Isak!” Ingird’s face lit up. “Finally I get to meet you!” Isak looked at her, unsure of what to say or do. “He  _has_  mentioned you, you know,” she said, like she had been reading Isak’s mind.

“Oh OK.” he fumbled with the words.

“There were times you where all he talked about.”

“Ohh.” Isak blushed.

“I haven’t seen Even that happy in a very long time.” She let out a happy sigh. “I’m happy that I finally get to meet you, too bad it is in these circumstances.” Her smile faded.

“Yeah. I’m sorry too.” A silence occurred. Isak rested his eyes on his feet, seeing his socks didn’t match.

“I think he’s sleeping now, but go see him. It will be good for him to see you again,” she said, smiling again.

Isak walked through the kitchen, but right before he was about to open the door he turned around.

“Ingrid?” It felt weird to say her name. For so long she’d just been someone Even briefly had mentioned.

“Yes, Isak.”

“Uhm- uh-” he struggled with finding the right words, seeing her standing in front of him, looking him directly in the eyes, with the same ocean blue eyes as Even. “Is it OK if I…”

“If you what?”

Pink roses filled up his cheeks.

“If you can stay the night?” Ingrid looked at him, giving him a gentle smile. Isak only nodded, thinking this must be on the top of the chart of awkwardness and he knew that if Even had been himself, he would’ve laughed at him, mocked him for being so hopelessly cute.

“Of course. I think it will be good for Even that you’re with him. Just let me know if you need anything, like food or anything else. I’ll be out here watching some TV before I go to bed.”

“Thank you.”

“If I’m already in bed, help yourself in the kitchen.”

Isak opened the door to Even room real slow. The ceiling lamp was off and the curtains covered the window, not allowing any light to enter the room. A head peeked up from under the duvet at the bottom part of the bunk bed. Even’s hair was messy, half his face was buried in a pillow with blue, stripy cover. With light steps Isak walked over the bed and sad down at the edge of it. Instantly his eyes welled up, it was impossible to hold the tears back. It felt so good to finally see Even again after so many days in agony, but his heart ached seeing how small and frail he looked.

“Even?” He pulled the duvet down a bit so he could see all of his head and made swirls in the back of his head with his fingertips. Even didn’t respond. The duvet slowly moved up and down, he was sleeping. “Even?” Isak’s voice was a bit louder now, still he didn’t respond.

Isak pulled off his clothes, leaving only a white t-shirt and boxers on. Gently he lifted the duvet and lay down, as close to Even as possible and wrapped his arm around him. His skin was as soft as he remembered and his body was warm as usual, but something felt different. Even was taller than Isak and whenever they had been in bed together, Isak had seen Even as the big, strong guy. Now he felt small in Isaks embrace. He shot kisses to his back and caressed his chest, letting the tips of his fingers gently trail every part of it.

A sadness washed over him. Even though it felt good to be close to Even again, his heart ached, not for himself, but for Even. Seeing Even like this, brought back so many memories. He knew what it felt like getting your secret exposed without being ready, but at the same time, it could be hundreds of things that troubled Even that he didn’t know anything about, so he didn’t really know much after all.

It was impossible to sleep, thousand thoughts swirled around in his head, like it had been for days now. Not that he wanted to sleep anyway, he needed and wanted to be awake when Even woke up. So he lay there, wrapped around him, hugging his body, trying to repay all the things Even had done for him the past months.

Sometime after midnight, it got impossible to fight the closing eyelids. At least Even is safe and sound in my arms, was his last thought before he fell asleep.

 

**.**

 

Rays of sun slipped inside the room through a chink in the curtains. Isak had already been awake for hours, not being able to fall back to sleep after he’d woken up to pee early in the morning.

“Hey, baby.”

“When did you come?”

“Last night, around eight I think. I tried to wake you up, but you were sleeping so heavy it was impossible. So I snuck under the duvet to be close to you. I hope you don’t mind.”

Even looked up in the ceiling, avoiding Isak’s eyes.  

“What are you doing here?”

“I needed to see my boyfriend again. I’ve missed you.”

“You shouldn’t have come.” He looked briefly at Isak with lifeless eyes and chapped lips, before resting his eyes in the ceiling again.

“Why are you saying that?”

“Because I know this is not what you signed up for. I’m just a burden.”

“Even-” Isak started, but Even cut him off.  

“Deep down I knew this couldn’t last. It never does and it never ever will. Somehow it will always get ruined.”

Isak wanted to cry, listening to Even’s words broke his heart, but he couldn’t, he had to stay strong for him. He couldn’t let his feelings get in the way. This was not about him, but Even. He knew Even probably would feel guilty for making him cry and he couldn’t let that happen.

“A while ago I had a sort of a life changing conversation with Jonas and he told me something so true: Life is complicated, love too, but so worth fighting for. And yesterday I had a heart to heart conversation with Magnus. You know what he said?” Isak looked at Even. He didn’t say anything, just looked at him and Isak took that as a silent yes to go ahead and tell. Even told with his eyes that he was listening.

“He said he’d never seen me as happy as I am with you. That was all that mattered. And you know, Mags was right. I’ve never truly been as happy as I’ve been when I’m with you.”

“I’m a burden,” Even just repeated.

“No, you’re not. You are everything I want. I want you, all of you.”

Even stared out in the air.

“So when I got home, after talking to Mags, I sat up all night thinking about what I wanted to say to you, trying to find the right words.” Isak kissed Even’s forehead, played with his hair and caressed his face, letting the tip of his fingers trail every part of it.  

“Can I play you a song? Since that is what we do, that’s our thing.” Even just nodded uninspired. “I found this playlist with love songs on Spotify to accompany me and suddenly this song started to play and as I listened I realised it said everything I wanted to say to you.”

 

_"Arms Open"_

 

_I can't unfeel your pain_

_I can't undo what's done_

_I can't stand back the rain_

_But if I could I would_

_My love, my arms are open_

 

_So when you feel like you can't take another round of being broken_

_My arms are open_

_And when you're losing faith and every door around you keeps on closing_

_My arms are open_

 

_I can't uncry your tears_

_I can't rewind the time_

_I can't unsay what said_

_In your crazy life_

_My love, my arms are open_

 

_Ooh, and when you're cursing at the sky_

_And thinking, "Lord, you must be joking"_

_My arms are open_

_And, and when you're looking in the mirror_

_Thinking that, "My life is over"_

_My arms are open_

 

_My arms are open. My arms are open.My arms are open. My arms are open._

 

_So what did they do to you?_

_Are you always done for me?_

_And let me be the ground_

_Underneath your feet_

 

_I can't unfeel your pain_

_I can't undo what's done_

_I can't stand back the rain_

_But if I could I would_

_My love, my arms are open, arms are open_

 

_So when you feel like you can't take another round of being broken_

_My arms are open_

_Oh, and when you're losing faith and every door around you keeps on closing_

_My arms are open_

 

_My arms are open. My arms are open.My arms are open. My arms are open._

 

_(My arms are open)_

_I will be standing here_

_I will be by your side_

_(My arms are open)_

_You feel me loud and clear_

_With my arms open wide_

_(My arms are open)_

_I will be standing here_

_I will be by your side_

_(My arms are open)_

_You feel me loud and clear_

_With my arms open wide_

 

_My arms are open_

 

The words sounded like a big cliche, like it was taken out of a sappy romantic movie, but the truth was, he meant all of it, he could do anything as long as it was with Even.

Isak looked at Even as the song ended, but there were no love in his eyes like it used to be when he played him something. He didn’t comment the lyrics, he didn’t say anything at all, just closed his eyes and turned around.

_Doesn’t he believe me?_

Remembering his conversation with Magnus, he knew this was the depression talking, but it still hurt seeing him turn his back to him. Unsure of what to say, because it felt like nothing he said would help at the moment, he just wrapped his arm around Even and kissed his shoulder. At least he didn’t push him away, maybe his presence was some sort of comfort after all? Maybe his body recognized him and believed him, hoping Even’s mind would believe him too at some point?

It didn’t take long before Even was sleeping again. He pulled the duvet all the way up to his face, like he was trying to hide. Like this he slept for hours and Isak shifted on lying close to Even, arms wrapped around him, texting with the boys and looking at meaningless things on the internet.

At 3 o’clock, he needed to leave.

 

 _Evi_ ❤

_Sorry, but I had to leave. Made a promise I have to keep. You were sleeping and I didn’t have the heart to wake you._

_I’ll be back tomorrow. If you wanna talk later just call or whatever._

_Love you_

_xo Isak_

 

“Hi.” Isak felt awkward talking to Even’s mom. It was the second day of meeting her and he didn’t know exactly what to say. He had briefly talked to her after awkwardly meeting her in the hall when he had to pee in the morning. She had offered to make breakfast, but Isak had refused, saying he wasn’t hungry.  “Uhm- I’m leaving now.”

“OK” she smiled.

“Mom’s birthday today, I promised to come,” he quickly added, afraid she would think he was leaving just because he was fed up or something.

“Birthday’s gotta be celebrated you know,” she said letting her hand run through her hair.

“Mhm.” Isak nodded and walked into the hall to find his belongings.

“Isak?”

“Yes?”

“You know, it is OK that you leave. You don’t have to stay with Even 24/7. I’m looking out for him, you know.” A set of gentle, compassionate eyes looked right into Isak’s and it was like staring into Even’s eyes.

“I know, but I want to be here. I want to be there for him.”

“I’m sure Even appreciate you being here. He wants you here.”

“Well- I’m not so sure.”

“Just give him some time. You know as I said yesterday, he’s talked so fondly about you. At times it was all he talked about.” Isak blushed again.  “Well, I'm not gonna take up more of your time. You probably need to go.”

“Yes, I should be going. Don’t want to be late.” Isak opened the door. “I’ll be back tomorrow if that’s OK?”

“Of course! You’re welcome anytime.” Ingrid took a step forward and hugged Isak.

Walking back home, he thought of the hugs Even’s mom had given him. It had felt a bit awkward, but very comforting at the same time. She exuded the same warmth as Even and it was easy to see where he had gotten his compassion and tenderness from.

 

**.**

 

“You seem a bit unfocused. Is everything OK?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, mum. Sorry. I just got lost in my own thoughts for a second.”

“How are things going? Apart from school. Are you seeing anyone? You were seeing boys, weren’t you?”

“Yes, I do like boys, mom.” Isak smiled faintly, looking into her eyes, trying to figure out if she really was OK with it or not. “I’ve actually met someone,” he stated shortly, a bit worried how she would react.

“You have? What’s his name?”

“Even. His name is Even.”

“Lovely name. You know what? Your father wanted to name you Even when you were born. I wasn’t negative to the idea, but when I saw you for the first time, you where no Even. Seeing you, I instantly knew I had to name you Isak. Your dad had no saying.”

“Is that true?”

“Yes. Maybe I haven’t told you that before,” his mom said, drifting off a bit.

“No.”

“Well, that how it was.” She smiled. “But tell me more about this boy you’re seeing. How is he and where did you meet?”

“We met at school sort of. I saw him first at school, but the first time we talked was at Kaffebrenneriet were he works part time,” Isak started. It was weird talking to her mum about Even, this being the first time ever he’d talked to her about his lovelife and the fact that he was into boys. “He’s so sweet, compassionate and loving.”

“How old is he?”

“18. Third year at school.”

“So he goes to the same school as you?”

“Yes.”

“Where does he live?”

“Close to my place, at Grünerløkka with his mum.”

“Any siblings?”

“No, he’s an only child.”

“So what made you fall for this guy?”

“His eyes and smile. I’ll show you a picture of him.”  Isak pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed her mum a few pictures of Even.

“What a handsome guy. I can see why you have fallen for him.”

“You should see him smile in real life, it’s…” Isak paused. Suddenly he felt his chest tighten. It was days, almost a week since he’d seen him smile and he missed it, he missed it so bad. “It’s-” Isak nearly choked and a few tears escaped the corner of his eyes.

“Isak?”

“I’m sorry.” He wiped tears from his cheek. “It’s just that Even is going through a rough time right now. I haven’t seen him smile this week. I’m sorry. I don’t want to ruin your birthday with this. Sorry.”

“It’s OK. Hopefully he will feel better soon.”

“I hope so too.”

Astrid didn’t ask what was wrong with Even and Isak didn’t tell. He didn’t want to burden her with his illness, thinking she had enough with her own and it wasn’t really his place to tell either. But he couldn’t help but wonder why she didn’t ask about it. Didn’t she want to pry or did she simply not care?

It felt good, sitting there talking to her mum, having a real conversation, despite everything that was going on around him. It was ages since last time, so long ago Isak couldn’t remember when. Around the time she had divorced Isak’s father, she had gone through a depressive period and nothing she had said had made sense.  

Isak left his mum two and a half hour later, with a big, warm hug and promise to not wait too long to come back. Astrid had even said she hoped she could meet Even someday in near future. It had felt good seeing her again and talk about Even. Maybe they could visit her together one day? Maybe. Maybe not.

 

**.**

 

Trying to find a song to send Even, Isak saw that Even had listened to music less than two hours ago. His last song was Dead Souls by Joy Division. Not being familiar that band, he clicked on the song to have a listen.

 

_Someone take these dreams away,_

_That point me to another day,_

_A duel of personalities,_

_That stretch all true realities._

 

_That keep calling me,_

_They keep calling me,_

_Keep on calling me,_

_They keep calling me._

 

_Where figures from the past stand tall,_

_And mocking voices ring the halls._

_Imperialistic house of prayer,_

_Conquistadors who took their share._

 

_That keep calling me,_

_They keep calling me,_

_Keep on calling me,_

_They keep calling me..._

 

By the time the song ended, Isak was in full tears. The pain Even must feel had screamed through voice of the singer. He felt like running out the door, out in the streets and over to Even’s house as fast as he could and wrap himself around him, holding him tight, so tight and whisper all the comforting words he knew.

Even’s mums words lingered in the back of his mind.  _You need to give Even time._  And she was right, he needed to give Even time. But it was hard, oh so hard, because he didn’t want to lose Even. He just couldn’t. It would break his heart.

\-------

 **Evi** ❤

**21:00**

 

I’m thinking of you ❤

I love you with all of my heart.

 

\-------

 

Laying in bed thinking of Even, Isad decided to brave himself and watch one of the sappy romantic movies Even had in his collection. Clouded by a foggy memory, he only could remember Romeo & Juliet, so that was the one he downloaded. Two third into the movie, his eyes were glassy and by the time the movie had ended  he was in full tears. The sappy movie had really gotten to him.

“Baby bean! Are you crying?” Eskild nearly shouted, having stormed into his room, again without knocking.

“No,” he said, trying to dry his eyes with his hoodie.

“Isak. Your eyes are all read.” Eskild raised his eyebrows as he jumped into the bed. Landing beside him, he saw the marquee of Romeo & Juliet roll over the screen. “Awww. Were my baby boy crying over Romeo & Juliet? Who knew you had it in you, you sap!”

“Eskild. Not now, Eskild.”

“Aww. Are my little bean sad?” He lay down beside Isak and took hold of his hand. “Is it Even?”

“Mmm.”

“Tell me.”

“I try to come through to him. I tell him I’m there for him. I tell him I want him, all of him, that he’s not a burden, but it’s like he doesn’t believe me. It’s like my words doesn’t mean anything to him and it hurts. Because I don’t want to lose him. I know what we had and it was so good and I know we can get through this. How can I make him understand?”

“You know what?” Eskild started, caressing Isak’s hand. “Even needs time. This has probably been Even’s biggest and darkest secret and it has been exposed without him being ready. You know how that is.”

“Yes,” he sighed, thinking back on his own experience.

“If you just are there for him, letting him know you’re not leaving, you’ll see he will come around.”

“I hope so, if not it’ll break my heart and I don’t know if I can stitch that back together.”

“Oh baby bean.” Eskild turned around and wrapped himself around Isak, giving him a big hug.

“What’s happening here?” Noora stood in the door, watching Eskild and Isak embracing each other, both teary eyed.

“Just a little heart to heart.”

“Can I join?”

“Sure, the more the merrier.” Noora jumped onto the bed, hugging them both.

“Wanna watch another sappy movie?” Eskild asked when they let go of each other. “Isak just finished watching Romeo & Juliet.”

“Romeo & Juliet? Wow. Didn’t think you were such a romantic sap,” Noora said.

“I suspect Even has something to do with that.”

“Probably, how’s Even by the way?” Noora asked.

“Still depressed.” Isak sighed. “Not saying much at the moment.”

“He’ll come around. Just give him time. You two are meant for each other. I know it.” Noora said.

“I hope so,” Isak sighed.

“I’m sure,” Noora said, ruffling Isaks hair, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“I wanna pick the movie! Let’s see Dirty Dancing.”

“Yesss!” Noora exclaimed excited. “Patrick Swayze is hot!”

“Indeed,” Eskild followed up.

“Patrick Swayze?” Isak wrinkled his nose.

“Oh my god! Don’t tell me you don’t know who he is?” Both Eskild and Noora looked at Isak with big eyes.

“Ehh-”

“We have a job to do! Find Dirty Dancing. Isak need some education!” Eskild nearly shouted.

 

Even hadn’t seen the last message he’d sent him, but Isak couldn’t help but send one more. He wasn’t sure if it helped, but he had to try and sending meaningful songs to each other was their thing. There wasn’t anything else to do anyway, it was impossible to get any sleep.   

 

\-------

 **Evi** ❤

**02:13**

 

Sitting in the window sill, watching Sirius and thinking about you.

I want you to know I’m not giving up on us.

Found this song and I just wanted you to hear it.

[ https://open.spotify.com/track/5Pfy9JtSZXgJ19rOPFiljg ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5Pfy9JtSZXgJ19rOPFiljg)

 

_By the way when you’re not around the sky turns grey_

_And the clouds fill up with rain_

_And the sun won’t show her face_

_And my chest aches with a dull and constant pain_

_So I wait and wait and wait for you_

_To pull me from this state_

 

_You make everything brighter_

_It’s so much brighter when you’re around_

_You make it brighter_

_It’s so much brighter when you’re around_

 

_And when you’re near the sky is shining neon_

_From earth to the great beyond_

_Your light travels on and on_

_And my body soars over tree and mountain top_

_I’ll follow you without a thought_

_Anywhere that you go_

 

_You make everything brighter_

_It’s so much brighter when you’re around_

_You make it brighter_

_It’s so much brighter when you’re around_

 

_And even when I’m covered up with dirt_

_You could brush it off and make me work_

_Straighten up my tie and pull me out_

_So keep going ’til you get what you want_

_What you want_

_You make everything brighter_

_It’s so much brighter when you’re around_

_You make it brighter_

_It’s so much brighter when you’re around_

\-------

 

\-------

**The Squad**

**02:16**

 

Anyone up?

Mags: ay, wazzup bro?

Jonas: yo!

Does anyone of you know who Patrick Swayze is?

Mags: yeah, that’s the dude from Dirty Dancing.

Jonas: yass! That guy’s six foot under.

Jonas: but why are you asking us this in the middle of the night?

Mags: Sometimes I don’t get you Isak. LOL

I watched Dirty Dancing with Eskild and Noora tonight and they were both shocked I didn’t know who he was. Then I started to wonder if you guys were as lost as me.

Mags: and you thought it was important to ask us this in the middle of the night?

Jonas: can’t sleep?

Nope.

Mags: seeing Even tomorrow?

That’s the plan.

Mags: what are your plans?

Eh… no idea. Just ‘be’, I dunno. Depends on his mood I guess. Maybe I’ll put on one of the movies he got.

Mags: one of the sappy love movies?

Even likes them.

Jonas: And you don’t? You watched Dirty Dancing this evening.

That was Eskild’s idea, not mine. I’m not the one who knew who that actor was. I bet both you and Magnus had romantic dates with Eva and Vilde watching Dirty Dancing.

Mags: Vilde forced me.

Yeah, right.

Jonas: I’m such a great boyfriend, I willingly accepted it when Eva suggested that movie.

LOL!

Jonas: learn from me, Mags. It paid off… ;)

Mags: how?

Jonas: Two words.

BJ?

hahahah

Jonas: 8-)

Mags: damn!

Mags: Isak, do you think Even will lend me one of his sappy movies?

 

\-------

.

 

It was noon by the time Isak managed to get out of bed. He wasn’t sure, but reckoned he’d fallen asleep sometime after 03.30. After taking a shower, eating some breakfast and having a chat with Noora, he headed out. Even had seen his messages this morning, but there was no response. At least he’d seen them, it was something. Maybe he just needed some time to reply?

Outside the wind was strong, so Isak tightened the burgundy scarf and pulled his cap over his ears not to freeze. It was rain in the air and swore out loud when he realized he’d forgotten his umbrella. He contemplated to go back to get it, but a strong gust came the very same second,  reminding him it would be pointless with an umbrella outside now. A raincoat would’ve been great, if he only had one. He cursed the month of november, it had started real shitty this year.

 

**.**

 

“Hi, Isak. Come in.” Isak stepped inside and took off his shoes and jacket. “Let me take your jacket.” Ingrid offered.

“Thank you.” Isak smiled.

“It’s good to see you.” Ingrid surprised him with a hug again. “Sorry if I overwhelmed you, I just felt like giving you a hug,” she excused herself, with the same gentle, compassionate smile as the days before. Just like Even, Isak thought to himself.

“It’s fine. Hugging is good.”

“Isn’t it?”

“How’s Even doing?”

“He slept most of yesterday evening after you left. This morning he was up and we had breakfast together. He’s in his room again now, not sure what he’s doing, if he’s sleeping or not. I heard he play a song this morning. It was some song, a happier song than what he’s been playing this week. He played it over and over, I take that as a good sign.”

Isak’s heart nearly skipped a beat. Was it the song he’d sent him?

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure!”

“What did really happen to Even?”

“I think Even should tell you that himself. When he’s ready. It’s not my story to tell.”

“Ohhh-” Isak instantly felt stupid for having asked, feeling his cheeks turn red and this was not cute, pink roses that Even adored, but dark red patches of embarrassment. “Of course. I shouldn’t have asked. Sorry.”

“It’s OK. It’s not easy to navigate through this. But I think you are doing good.”

“Thank you.”

“Now go and see Even. I guess it wasn’t me you were coming for.” Ingrid laughed.

“No, it wasn’t,” he stuttered and walked through the hall.

Isak slowly opened the door, unsure of what was waiting for him behind it. Even sat in the window sill, staring blankly out in the air, completely lost in his own thoughts.

“Hi.”Isak walked over to Even and kissed him on the cheek.

“Hey.” His voice was barely audible.

“I hope it’s OK that I came,” he said, placing himself at the opposite side of Even, looking directly at him, at his messy hair peeking out of his grey hoodie, at his blue eyes that weren’t shining like they used to, at his weary hands that didn’t lay still.

“Yeah.”

Even didn’t look at Isak, just stared indifferently out the window.

 _Beep! Beep!_  Isak’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw it was his mum that had texted him.

_I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday. I really hope Even gets better soon. Tell him I said hi when you see him._

Isak stared at the messages for a long time, reading it over and over, smiling because his mum had thought about Even. Maybe she felt some kind of connection, Isak knew lots of time when his mum hadn’t smiled for weeks.

“It was mum,” he started, looking out of the window trying to figure out what Even was looking at. “I saw her yesterday, it was her birthday. The last week has gotten me thinking, about you, mum, Mags’ mum and a lot of things. When I saw that mum had texted me when I woke up yesterday, asking me to come visit her since it was her birthday, I knew I had to go.” Isak glanced at Even, to see if he had gotten his attention and he had. Even rested his eyes on him. “It’s been ages since I’ve seen her. We talked and she asked me if I was seeing someone and then I realized I hadn’t told her about you. I hadn’t told my mum about the best thing in my life and I felt really bad about it. So I told her I’d met you and then she asked all these questions, like how old is he, where does he live, what does he do, where did you meet and then she asked me what made me fall for you.”

Isak paused for a second pulling a eyelash out of his left eye, stealing another glance at Even, seeing he still was looking at him.

“It was your smile and your ocean blue eyes. Especially how your eyes narrow, almost disappear, when you laugh. Telling mum this instantly made me realized how much I miss that, how much I miss seeing you smile and laugh. It’s only been a week since last time, but it feels like an eternity. I think I’ve become addicted to it. I nearly cried telling her, I choked, and she wondered why of course. So I told my mum, that you weren’t doing so well-”

Even’s eyes widen and some of the fear Isak had seen before was back, probably afraid Isak had told more than he was willing to share.

“I didn’t tell her you were- uhm-” Isak fumbled with the words. “I didn’t say that you- uh- I just told her you were going through a rough time. It’s not my story to tell, it’s up to you to tell her that if you see her one day.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a few seconds.   

“And I hope that we will visit her together some time. Mum said she would like to meet you.”

A tear escaped Even’s eye.

“Oh and what sparked all this talking...” Isak smiled “Mum just texted me, she had been thinking and said she really hoped you would get better soon.”  

Even’s eyes were full of tears now and Isak instantly jumped off the window sill, walked over to Even and pulled him close, wrapped himself around him, hugged him tight. Like this they stood for minutes, comforting each other. Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

“Oh hi, I didn’t mean to disturb you,” ‘Ingrid said a bit embarrassed, looking at Isak and Even tightly wrapped around each other, before they let go of each other. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m leaving now. There is pizza from yesterday in the fridge. You can just heat it up. And I think there are some sour cream left too, just have a look. I won’t be home before late.”

“OK” They said simultaneously.  _You owe me a coke,_  Isak thought to himself.

Even’s mum left the room and Isak and Even stood on the floor looking at each other, unsure of what to do or say.

“I was thinking, maybe we could watch a movie, if you’re up for it? Or we don’t have to do anything, if you’d rather do nothing? Or- I dunno.” All of a sudden, he got nervous, fumbling with his words, unsure why.

“Movie is OK.”

“Let’s see one of your sappy movies.” Isak walked over the the shelf where Even had stacked all his romantic movies. “Titanic, I’ve seen. Ex girlfriend forced me to see it. Romeo & Juliet I saw yesterday. Cried like a baby at the end.”

He looked at Even, hoping for a reaction. Normally he would laugh or make a funny comment by his confession, now he only gave him a faint smile. But it was ok, it was a start. A faint smile is good, they could laugh later.

“Dirty Dancing, also saw that yesterday. Eskild and Noora made me because I had never heard about Patrick Swayze.” Isak glanced at Even again, this time his smile was wee bit wider. “You can mock me later.” He looked further. “What about this one?” He said after have read the back of the cover of the Great Gatsby. “This might be good.”

“Can we watch Pretty Woman?” Even asked apologetic.

“Sure!” Isak took a look at the cover. “At least I’ve heard of Julia Roberts,” he laughed. “And that Gere dude looks handsome, although a bit old for me.”

“I like that one.” Even spoke so low, it felt like someone had forgotten to turn up the sound.

“All right, Pretty Woman it is.”

“I brought popcorn for us. Couldn’t remember if you had a microwave or not, so I brought both micro pop and the old fashioned one.” Isak went into the hall to get his backpack. “Why don’t you get comfortable in the living room, maybe put the movie on while I do the popping.”

“OK.”

Four minutes later, Isak came into the living room with a plastic bowl full of freshly popped popcorn and it smelled so good. Isak placed the popcorn on the table, dropped down on the couch and placed his legs on the chaise with a little distance to Even, unsure if he wanted to be close or not. He didn’t want to force himself on Even, thinking he should decide whether they should be intimate or not. Just as the movie started Even scooted himself closer to Isak and placed his head in his lap.

Isak couldn’t help but smile and placed one hand in Even’s hair, playing with it calmed him down. The other one he placed it on Even’s chest and Even instantly grabbed it with both his hands and held it tightly. Warmth exuded through the hands and throughout Isak’s body, filling up his heart with happiness. It was the small things that mattered now, the small things telling him Even was slowly coming back to life, coming back to him.

After the movie ended, Isak went into the kitchen and heated up pizza for both of them. Even didn’t eat much, just two small pieces, but Isak ate for both of them and felt a bit embarrassed afterwards, seeing he had eaten all the pizza there was left. It might have been six or seven pieces, maybe even eight. He wasn’t sure, he’d stopped counting after his fourth.

Even didn’t talk much and sometimes he drifted off to a place Isak only could imagine where was. He let Even be silent and space out. Not only because he wanted him to talk whenever he was ready and not when being forced, but also because he didn’t exactly know what to say. It felt so trivial to talk about the bad weather, the history test he was so certain he’d failed or how he nearly got caught on the bus without a valid ticket last thursday, when they had bigger, more important things to talk about.

**.**

Walking home, Isak couldn’t get that last thing Edward had said to Vivian out of his head.  _So what happened after he climbed the tower and rescued her? she rescue him right back._  The whole sentiment of the movie had reasoned with him. It felt like Even and his relationship. First Even had rescued him and now it was his time to rescue Even.

 

\-------

 **Evi** ❤

**23:42**

so what happened after he climbed the tower and rescued her? she rescue him right back.

I’m a terrible drawer, but anyway…

You’re the rainbow in my cloud. Let me be the rainbow in yours ❤

\-------

**.**

 

It was now six days since hell broke loose and ever since he’d walked around with a dull and constant pain in the chest. He felt going around in some reality show, constantly waiting to either be exed out or voted through to the next round. Every time something happened on his phone, his heart skipped a beat, hoping it would be Even and every time he got disappointed by the fact that it wasn’t. It was exhausting, but he couldn’t give up, not now, not yet.

Coming home, he remembered to check the mailbox for once. It was always Noora who brought in the mail, but it never hardly came any. At the bottom of the mailbox he saw one single letter and it was addressed to him. He didn’t recognize the handwriting at first, so he got a little worried it might be from Tom. He put the letter in his back pocket and skipped up the stairs to the apartment and locked himself into his room. Carefully he opened the envelope and alongside a small note, a thousand kroner bill fell out.

_Dear Isak,_

_I don’t remember if I gave you something for your birthday or not, so here is a gift from me. I want you to spend it on you and Even. Do something nice together._

_Hold on to the love, because you’ll never know when it slips out of your hand._

_Love,_

_mum_

 

A mix of happy and sad tears ran down Isak’s face. He was happy his mum had thought of Even and him, but there was a sadness over the sparesome letter. His mum had experienced exactly what she’d written--she’d seen love slip out of her hands, not able to control it and getting it back.

Quickly he sent her a text message back, not to forget, because in the haze he was in, he didn’t trust his own brain.

_Thank you for the letter mum and the money. I will spend them on Even and myself, and I will tell you all about it. Love you! Isak_

Reading his mum’s letter, he felt he had no time to lose, he needed to see Even as soon as possible. He had no intention to let his love slip away.

 

**.**

 

Yet another time he stood in Korsgata 4, still as nervous as all the other days. Ingrid buzzed him in and Isak skipped up the stair to the fourth floor.

“Hi, Isak” Ingrid greeted him, standing in the doorway.

“Hi.”

“Even’s not here.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he said he needed some fresh air. Left half an hour ago.”

“Did he say where he was going?”

“No, he just said he needed some time to think. Sorry.”

Isak walked down the stairs with head hung, disappointed Even wasn’t there. He had let Even know he would be back today, after school was over, yet he hadn’t left a note for him or texted him saying he wouldn’t be home. The pain in his chest increased and a tie knot in his stomach. Was Even slipping out of his hand after all?

Walking towards the tram, not sure where he was heading, a thought suddenly popped up in his head. Hadn’t Even’s mum said he needed some time to think? Was it possible that he’d gone to the fortress, like he had told he used to do when he needed a timeout? A hope rose inside him and he started to walk faster, ending up running towards the tram stop.

Nearly out of breath, heaving, with a heart pounding so fast, he hopped on the tram. He cursed inwardly by all the people going on and off, slowing the tram down. It felt like it was barely moving and the five minute ride seemed to take forever. A tall, blond guy entered the tram at Jernbanetorget and at first glance it looked like Even and it startled him. As the guy neared him and sat down across him, Isak saw it was just a feeble copy.

Walking up the cobblestoned street, leading up to the fortress, his heart beat so fast and it was hard to keep his nerves under control. He tried to figure out what to say to Even if he was up there. There were a thousand things he wanted to tell him, but every word failed on him and he couldn’t seem to form one single coherent thought.

As he came to the end of the street, he saw the contours of someone sitting at the same spot he and Even had done, overlooking the fjord.

“Even,” he said softly, seeing Even turn around a bit startled. The dim light from the light above them, made it hard to see all of Even, still the darkness in his eyes were not to miss.

“Hey.” His words were barely audible and a barking dog made it even harder to hear him.

“I hoped I would find you here,” Isak started, before he took a deep breath. “I know it’s very selfish of me to come, since you probably escaped here to get some space to think, alone. I probably shouldn’t have come, but the thought of you sitting here all by yourself with your thoughts- I didn’t want you to be here all alone. But to be honest, I came just as much for myself, because I miss drowning in your eyes, I miss your soft skin against mine, I miss your hair, your lips, your laughter, your wise words, I miss you mocking me, I miss the silly songs you send me- I know it’s less than 24 hours since I saw you, but still- my heart is aching.” Isak took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come, this is your free space. This isn’t about me at all. I don’t know why I’m so stupid. I’ll go. I’ll let you sit here and think. Sorry.”

Isak’s eyes filled up with tears and he frantically wiped them away, trying to hide he was crying. Even didn’t need his tears now, he had enough with his own.

“Don’t go.” Even looked up at Isak, reached out his hand and took hold of the hem of his jacket. “Stay. Please. I don’t want you to go.”

Isak looked at Even through the tears, unable to do anything. Even pulled his jacket, now with more power, forcing Isak to sit down next to him.

“Please don’t cry. I can’t bare to see you cry like that.” Even begged.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry. I told myself not to cry. It’s not fair of me. You don’t need my selfish tears.”

Isak bit his lip hard and closed his eyes, trying to end the tears. Suddenly he felt Even’s hands against his skin. Even cupped his face and Isak gasped as he gently kissed his eyelids.

“Please don’t cry,” he repeated, kissing away the tears running down the cheeks and Isak felt stupid and awful. This was not supposed to be about him. Isak had no choice and let himself be kissed by Even, as he focused on his own breathing, trying to calm down. It took him almost a minute to gain control of himself, his breath and the tears and when he finally had calmed down, he opened his eyes and saw directly into Even’s.

“Hey,” he said softly, embarrassed by his own outburst.

“Hey,” Even replied with a faint smile that disappeared as soon as it came.

Isak took hold of Even’s hands and rested his eyes on them, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes. They sat in silence, holding hands and thousand thoughts swirled around in his head.

“I have been scared,” Even suddenly said, breaking the silence and Isak looked up, seeing Even’s eyes all wet.

“Of what?”

“Pretty much everything, but most of all losing you and my new friends,” Even sniffled. “It hurt when you said your mum was crazy. The worst though was that you couldn’t handle living with her and had to move out, because how would you be able to handle me, since I’m crazy too.”

The words stung, they hit him like a knife in the heart. Knowing he had hurt Even with his words was a lot to take in.

“Oh,  Even. The thing about me moving out was complicated. It wasn’t just her illness that made me move out. It was-  I’m so sorry I gave you the short version earlier, I shouldn’t have done that. I was angry because of what Tom did to me. I was angry at dad for leaving mum, I felt he was abandoning her, so I wanted to punish him by moving out, that way he would have to pay for me living elsewhere out of guilt and I needed a space on my own to deal with my own problems. Not that I dealt with any of them really, I just avoided them, but that’s a whole nother story.” Isak took a deep breath. “I’m so, so sorry, Even.”

“My mind told our relationship wouldn’t last that long because of what you said, so I tried to distance myself from you a bit, but it only lasted a day or so, because that hurt even more. So I decided- well, I don’t know what I decided, if I decided anything at all, I just knew I needed all of you again. I guess I was thinking that I could ride the train until it crashed.” Even took a deep breath. “And now it has crashed.”

“But I’m not leaving you.”

“You say that now, but history tends to repeat itself and people do leave me. I’m still scared everyone will walk away, you included. Maybe not now, but surely after you’ve experience all of me. They did last time, why won’t they do it now? It’s just how people are.” The sadness in Even’s voice was unbearable.

“Oh, Even.” Isak had to bite his lip not to start cry again. “You’re wrong. Not every people are like that. How can I make you see I have no intention leaving you?

“Why wouldn’t you? I’m crazy,” he shrugged. “You’ve seen the Insta-posts.”

“First of all, you’re not crazy, you have an illness. And second, I don’t care about what you’ve done in the past. All I care about is now and what we have, and I know we have something beautiful going on. It’s no use dwelling on the past, what has happened has happened, nothing you can do about that. There’s also no use worrying about the future and what  _might_  happen, because no one can predict the future. What if I stick around long enough to marry you?”

Isak brushed his thumb over Even’s cheek, wiping away some tears.

“People say you don’t know what you had until it’s gone. If there is one thing I’ve learned this week, it’s that I can’t fucking lose you. I just can’t. It will be the death of me.”

Isak was desperate and couldn’t hold the tears back any longer.

“I don’t want this,” Even said.

“What this?” Isak ask through the tears.

“You crying like this, my heart can’t take it.” He kissed Isak’s hand gently. “I don’t want to make your life complicated. My life is complicated.”

“I want all your complications, Even.”

“You say that now-” Even took a deep breath. “You haven’t seen me at my lowest or my highest.”

“Remember what you told me that night when I first told you about my sexual problems?” Isak didn’t wait for Even to respond. “You told me we could take it slow, because slow is sexy. That is what we are going to do when things get difficult, we’re just gonna take it slow. Take one day at the time, or one hour. And if even that is too difficult, we could just think about the next minute.”

Tears escaped Even’s eye and Isak wiped them away with his fingers.

“And you know, I’ll cry my eyes out if there won’t be anymore of us, I will die. So you better stick with me,” Isak said sending him short smile, pulling him close, hugging him hard and long.

“Are you sure you want all of it?” Even whispered into his neck. “I’m a lot to handle. Probably too much.”  

“I have never been more sure about anything my entire life.”

Isak let go of Even and looked at him, still seeing doubt in his eyes.

“I will show you! You just wait and see. I will show you.”

They sat in silence, leaned against each other, looking into the darkness. All they could see was the dim light from the city under them.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Lots of stuff,” Even said rubbing his hands, clearly being nervous.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t feel like it. “ Isak took hold of Even’s hand. “If that was something you wondered about. “ Even just nodded. “Whatever you did is in the past and I don’t care. All I care about is now.”  He kissed Even’s hand repeatedly. “But if you choose to talk, know that I’m here to listen.“

Isak turned around and cupped Even’s head with his hands and looked him in the eyes.

“OK?”

“OK.”

“Good”

“Your hands are cold.”

“Mmm. And you are warm as always.”

“Mmm.”

“Another reason that we belong together. You warming me and I can cool you down.”

Isak smiled for the first time today and thought that it was good to see Even open up and even if it went slow, they were getting somewhere.

“Tell me more.”

“More?”

“More reasons for us belonging together.”

“OK. You make me happy, like genuinely happy. We have the same sense of humor, I laugh a lot when I’m with you. But you don’t laugh at me when I tell you about my problems and I will never laugh at your problems either. We give each other great blowjobs. I love cinnamon buns and you work at KB. Do you want more?”

“Please.”

“I love your kisses. My heart sings whenever I see you. We are each other’s rainbows. No one picks me up when I’m feeling down like you do. I love all the silly songs you play for  me, even Tom fucking Jones just because they come from you and because the thrill it gets you to play them for me. Because I secretly love all the movies with epic love stories that you make me see. Your hand seem to fit perfectly into mine.” Isak took hold of Even’s hand and soon their fingers entwined. “See? A perfect match.”

“What have I done to deserve you?”

“All you had to do was to be you, Evi. That was simply enough. I don’t think you understand how great you are.” Even blushed and just mumbled something Isak didn’t understood, clearly unable to take the compliment.

“Your hands are still cold.”

“The world are crashing around you and you’re worrying about my cold hands-”

“Yeah-”

“You are incredible, in the most fantastic way ever.”

“Shush.”

“Even if you don’t believe it, it’s still the truth.”

“Maybe we should go?” he just said, changing the subject. .

“If it’s OK for you?”

“Yes.”

“Even?”

“Mmm?”

“I’m really sorry for being so incredible selfish and crashing your alone time here.”

“I’m glad you came,” Even said trying to smile. “Can I stay at your place tonight?”

“Of course, there is nothing I want more.”

“Thank you.”

Even took hold of Isak’s hand as they started to walk and Isak let their fingers lace. It felt so good to have Even’s hand in his again. Walking across Rådhusplassen his mind went back to that friday nearly a month ago. They had been walking exactly the same way as they did now, fingers entwined on their way home to his place.

“Evi?”

“Yeah?”

“So what happened after he climbed the tower and rescued him?” Isak looked at Even.

“He rescue him right back,” Even whispered.

“Exactly.”

Even squeezed his hand a little bit harder and Isak finally felt the firm grip around his heart slowly slipping. Even was slowly coming back to life, back to him and it felt so good. Suddenly a thought popped into his head and he was back at that friday again. It was time to do that thing he didn’t had the energy or mood to do last time.

In front of him someone had placed a quite big concrete brick and Isak wasn’t sure what the actual purpose of it was, but he knew exactly what to do with it. Slowly he unentangled Even’s fingers and climbed on top of the concrete brick. Even looked confused by Isak’s act.

“What are you doing?” he asked with puzzled look.

“Even Bæch Nesheim,” Isak shouted and threw his arms in the air! “I love you with all my heart. You hear me. I love you with all my heart and then some more.”

A group of people walking past them turned their head and stared at Isak, who didn’t seem to care at all. And it was the truth, Isak didn’t care. He could’ve gotten all the looks in the entire world and it wouldn’t mattered. He was in love and he didn’t only wanted Even to know, he would like the whole world to know about it.

**.**

 

“Even!” Eskild threw him over Even and gave him a big, warm hug, seeing his eyes were all red and sore.

“Oh-”

“It’s so, so, so good to see you again. How are you?”

“I dunno, a bit better I guess,” he said looking at Eskild, grabbing Isak’s hand, gently squeezing it.

“Good, good. If you need anything from papa Eskild, just let me know.”

“Thanks.” Even said silently, looking embarrassed by the attention he was receiving.

As soon as Isak and Even got into Isak’s room, Even took off his hoodie and threw himself on the bed yawning and Isak asked if he was tired and Even confirmed by another yawn, letting him know it had been a mentally exhausting evening.

Isak watched him from the end of the bed wondering what he was thinking about, it was easy to see his head was full of thoughts. Even wasn’t alone with thoughts spinning around, his own head was full of them as well and it wasn’t easy to decide which thought to hide and which one to talk about, eventually he decided to hide them all and just lay down beside Even and just be.

He scooted himself closer to Even, let their legs intertwined, kissing the top of Even’s head. His hair smelled nice and Isak suddenly wondered what kind of shampoo he was using, could it be his mums since he smelled like roses?

Even had been distant for nearly a week, both physically and mentally, so it was nice to lay in bed with Even again, even if they didn’t do anything. Just the fact that he was there with him was enough, they didn’t have to talk or kiss all the time.

“Sorry for not trusting you, for not believing you.” Even said, breaking the silence, wiping away tears from his eyes.

“Don’t say that.” Isak looked at Even, seeing he was staring out in the air. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who should apologies- for bringing that psychopath into your life.”

“That’s not your fault.”

“If it hadn’t been for me- none of this had happened.” Isak argued, sighing out loud.

“If it hadn’t been for you? Well-” He paused and turned around, leveling Isak, facing him. “If it hadn’t been for you, my life would’ve been pretty grey. You’re like a sunshine, brightening up the darkest days,” he said bringing a hand to Isak’s face and brushing his thumb over his cheekbone.

They lay in silence for a while, caressing each other's face, just admiring each other.

Suddenly Even stopped and looked at Isak, like he was going to tell him something important.

“Are they mortified?”

“What?”

“You know- by me.”

“Who?”

“Jonas. The boys, the girls.”

“Noooo. They’ve all been nothing but concerned. Everyone has been concerned. The boys, Eva, Vilde, Chris, Noora and you saw Eskild.”

“Mmhm.”

“You know, he said he was gonna kick Tom’s ass.” Isak couldn’t help but chuckle.

“He did?”

“Yeah! But that’s not gonna happen because Eskild isn’t capable to kick anyone. Have I told-”

“And Sana?” Even cut him off.

“Sana too.”

“I have a confession.” His eyes darkened and they kept shifting gaze.

“Me too.”

“I know Sana.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yes. I asked Sana about you because of what Tom wrote. She tried to avoid me, but I forced her to talk to me and she told me you knew each other and that you were sick, but only because I pressed her, I might have cried too, can’t remember, I was desperate to know. Please don’t hate on Sana. She really didn’t want to tell me anything. Be mad at me if anyone.”

“I don’t think I can ever be mad at you.” Even said tousling Isak’s hair.

“I feel really bad for pushing her up in a corner like that.”

“It’s fine. Everyone knew anyway.” He paused, closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.“I used to hang out with her brother. Until everything went south.”

Even rolled back on his back looking up in the ceiling.

“Mmhm. I see. And you haven’t spoken since?”

“No. Everything just got so fucked up, so weird and I dunno.” Even sighed, rubbing his eyes

“I can understand that.”

“I wonder if he misses me.” Even sighed again.

“I bet he do.”

Isak wanted to tell him that he should ask him, it was the only way to find out, but he didn’t want to push him, to tell him what to do or what not to do. Without knowing his whole story, it was kind of pointless.

“About missing someone, the guys have been asking about you.”

“They have?”

“Yeah. They are wondering how you are doing. Especially Magnus.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not sure if I’ve told you, the last days have been a bit hazy, but I had a really good talk with him on tuesday. After Sana told me you were sick, I needed to talk to someone and Magnus was the first I saw. When I told him you were bipolar, he told me his mum was too, just like that, like it was the most natural thing ever.”

“She is?” Even asked looking at Isak.

“Yes.” he nodded. “I didn’t know, I’m not sure if anyone knew to be honest, but he told me and then we had a really good chat. I had all these questions and he told me everything he knew, letting me know there was nothing to be afraid of, saying you weren’t crazy and that I just should take things slow, give you time, until things got better.”

Even’s eyes filled with tears and Isak did his best wiping them away as they trailed down his face.  

“I think all the boys wonder when you’re coming back to school, they miss you. I know Magnus hope you will be back soon.”

“I dunno. Mum asked me the same today, if I’d been thinking about going back to school.”

“Have you?”

“Up to now it’s been quite a distant thought. I just hate the idea of everybody knowing.  That’s why I changed school, to get a fresh start. I just want to be Even, not crazy Even, bipolar Even, Even who goes mental. They label you as soon they know.”

“I know how fucking hard it is, I’ve been there myself, but you should try to focus on the people that matters. Like Magnus, Jonas and Madhi. And the girls. None of them think you are crazy, to them you’re just Even, my boyfriend. But not only my boyfriend.You’re one of their friends too.”

Even’s face teared up again and Isak wiped the tears away, cupping his head, gently kissing his face. A smile revealed when Isak let go of him and his heart filled up with happiness seeing him smiling.

“I like that you are smiling again,” he said softly, kissing his nose.

“You are giving me reasons to smile, Isak.” Even leaned in and returned the favour, kissing his nose back.

“I’m trying my best.”

“You really think they don’t care and want me back?” Even asked, looking for reassurance.

“I’m 100 percent sure.”

 

\-------

**The Squad**

**21:21**

_Mags has invited Even to the group._

 

Mags: Welcome to the the Squad.

Madhi: Bro! Hi!

Mags: This chat is has been a ‘no girl/boyfriend’ zone. Up to now.

Mags: you deserve to be included to this group. You are part of the squad after all.

Madhi: Yes :)

Mags: but there are some rules to follow.

Mags: 1. No mushy-mushy talk with the boyfriend (aka the lovebird, aka Isak) here.

Mags: 2. No girls allowed in this group.

Madhi: 3. What happens here, stays here.

Jonas: 4. You’re allowed to scold Mags whenever he says something stupid. Which is quite often.

Jonas: Hi btw!

Mags: fuck you Jonas.  

Jonas: I like you Mags, but no thanks.

Madhi: hahahaha

Mags: three strikes and you’re suspended.

Jonas: 5. no sharing of shitty music like Freddy Kalas and such.

Mags: apart from that, be yourself.

\-------

The latest episode of Narcos was soon ending and when Isak turned his head to stretch his neck, he saw Even staring at his phone smiling with tears in his eyes. Isak pressed pause on the show, thinking this was something important.

“What’s up?

“Look!”

Even handed him the phone and let him read.

“Is this your doing?” Even asked when Isak gave him the phone back. “Did you make them do this?”

“No.” He shook his head. “This is all Mags.”

Isak kissed Even on the cheek before grabbing his own phone.

 

\-------

**The Squad**

**21:26**

 

❤❤❤❤❤

Mags: easy with the heart emojis Isak

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

https://youtu.be/KrJBlk8q8qc

I love you always forever  
Near and far, closer together  
Everywhere I will be with you  
Everything I will do for you  
I love you always forever  
Near and far, closer together  
Everywhere I will be with you  
Everything I will do for you

Mags: Rule no. 6: no sappy love songs or overload of heart emojis.

Even: thank you guys, you have no idea how much this means ❤❤❤

\-------

That evening Isak and Even fell asleep tightly wrapped around each other, hearts filled up with more happiness than the day before, knowing they probably would have the best sleep in a long time.

 

**.**

 

Fuck monday, Isak thought to himself as he got out of bed, looking at Even sound asleep under the duvet. It was monday, his room was cold and even though he’d slept through the night, getting over eight hours of sleep, he was still tired and all he wanted was to go back under the duvet and lay close to Even.

When he got back from the shower and after getting dressed, he placed himself at the edge of the bed, trying to wake Even up. He gently tousled his hair, whispering his name and when he didn’t respond, Isak started to kiss him instead, showering Even with wet smooches, slowly waking him up.

“Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning, baby.”

“You were sleeping so good, I didn’t have the heart to wake you until now.”

“I haven’t slept this good in a long time.”

“Me neither.”

“I wish I could wake up like this every day, with you showering me with kisses.”

The smile Even gave Isak was so genuine, it was impossible not to smile back and it instantly filled up his heart, making it flutter. Even was slowly, but surely getting back to his old self and Isak couldn’t be more happy. Isak quickly found his phone, snapping a picture of Even.

“Ugh. Why did you take my picture?” Even moaned. “I look like shit, bed hair and everything.”

“Because I want to remember this moment,” he explained. “And I happen to love your bed hair, it’s fluffy and it reminds me of cotton candy.”

Isak left for school with Even still in bed, knowing it was going to be a good day after all. Before the first class started he met up with the boys. They asked him how Even was doing and Isak told them everything that had happened the last 24 hours, apart from him declaring his love to Even on top of a concrete block outside the town hall. He knew they would mock him for it and Isak thought that moment was something just for the two of them.

For the first time in a week Isak didn’t have any trouble following the classes and the teachers, knowing Even was sleeping in his bed, waiting for him to get home. Knowing that the last thing Even gave him before he left, was a smile and a kiss on the mouth.

When the school day was over Isak rushed home, he even declined an invite to join the boys at Mc Donalds. He couldn’t wait to get back to Even, to be near him again, to kiss him and and just talk.

“Even?”

Isak walked into his room trying to locate Even. His jacket and shoes were gone. Had he left without saying anything? His heart started to beat a little faster. They hadn’t discussed if Even was going to stay there all day, he had just been so sure that Even would be there when he got home, and if not, he surely would’ve texted him letting him now. Suddenly he saw a note on the bed.

 

_Isak ❤_

_I missed you after you’d left so I stole some paper and a pencil and drew you something. It kinda sucks, but… I didn’t have time to do it all over again. Mum asked me to come home for dinner and some talking, so I had to leave._

_I can’t wait to see you again. Come by tonight?_

_xo_

_Even_

\-------

**Evi ❤**

**16:32**

Loved that drawing! ❤

You did?

It’s beautiful.

Thanks

Don’t ever doubt your own drawing skills.When can I come over? I miss you.

Miss you too. 19 ish?

I’ll be there 19 sharp! ❤

\-------

 

**.**

 

Isak jumped onto the bed and patted on duvet, inviting Even to sit next to him. Even placed himself close to Isak and Isak instantly felt the warmth from Even.

 

\-------

**The Squad**

**19:58**

 

Jonas: Yo, yo, yo Even! Isak told me you're thinking of coming back to school tomorrow. We’ve missed you.

Madhi: bro! Cool. Can’t wait to see you!

Mags: and we got your back. Like for real! 8-)

Jonas: if anyone mess with you, they mess with us.

Mags:

Madhi: a handstand? Are you gonna fight someone with a handstand? LOL

Mags: it was supposed to look like a ninja move. Eh…

hahaha. Classic Mags!

Even: thank you guys ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Mags: app, app, app. We love you, but be careful of the heart emojis.

Even: this requires a shitload of hearts. Sorry guys!

Jonas: ❤

\-------

“Ay, Even.” Isak pulled him closer.

“Happy tears,” Even stated, smiling through the tears. Seeing that smile on Even, a genuine smile, Isak couldn’t hold back on his own tears and quickly his eyes filled up. “Why are  _you_  crying now?”

“Happy tears,” Isak stated and kissed his cheek.

 

**.**

 

Back home, Isak quickly brushed his teeth and went to bed. Tucked under the duvet he reached for his phone to change the alarm. Right before Isak had left Even, they had agreed to meet up in the school court before school started, it had been Even’s idea. Isak knew Even was anxious about going back to school, probably more anxious than he told Isak and Isak worried Even tried to be stronger than he was or needed to be. So while walking home, he decided to met up Even outside his apartment, as a surprise. He wanted to make Even feel safe all the way to school.

 

\-------

**Evi ❤**

**23:47**

Goodnight, bby.

Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite  **❤**

Goodnight sunshine.

If you can’t sleep because your mind gets clouded with negative thoughts, remember this.

 

 

Hahaha.

Is that you?

do you need to ask?

Love you, bby.

xxx

\-------

 

**.**

 

It was a cold november morning and even though Isak had fallen asleep way too late and was tired, he had an assignment he hadn’t finished, he had no breakfast and even though the wind was so strong he nearly lost his scarf a couple of times, he felt happy walking the seven minutes it took to get to Even. Even made him happy, it was as simple as that and today it seemed like nothing could break his good mood.

Isak jumped when the door downstairs opened right before he was going to push the doorbell.

“Isak!” Ingrid exclaimed.

“Oh hi.”

“What are you doing here? Even said you were going to meet up at school.”

“I wanted to surprise Even,”  he said blushing.

“Aww. How sweet. I know he will be happy that you’re here, he was nervous this morning.” Ingrid held up the door. “Just go in.”

“Thank you.”

“Isak?”

“Yeah?”  
“You should come for dinner one day, so I can get to know you a bit better.”

“Oh- yeah-” Isak suddenly fumbled with the words. “Sure. That would be nice.”

The door closed and Isak skipped up to the fourth floor, ringing the doorbell twice.

“Isak!”

“Hi, Evi.” Isak smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“What are you doing here? Didn’t we agree to meet up at school?”

“We did, but I missed you and it’s boring to take the tram all by myself, so I figured out I’d come here,” he said, puppy eyed, tilting his head, trying to make this about him needing Even and not the other way around.

“You’re cute,” Even replied smiling, while stealing a kiss and Isak wasn’t sure if Even bought the lie or not, but either way he looked genuinely happy Isak was there. “How did you get in?”

“I met your mum downstairs.”

“Oh you met mum.”

“She even invited me for dinner.” Isak chuckled. “She wants to know that guy who dates her son better. Should I be alarmed?” Isak raised his eyebrows.

“You have nothing to worry about.” Even grabbed Isak and hugged him tightly. “I have only good things to say about you.”

Even grabbed Isak’s hand as they started to walk towards the tram and Isak felt it was a bit sweaty, so he let their fingers intertwine, hoping it would make Even a bit more safe. They stopped by Kaffebrenneriet so Isak could get some breakfast, it was a small detour, but the growling stomach could not wait.

After buying a large sandwich with cheese and ham and a big smoothie, Isak suddenly saw a familiar face right outside the coffeeshop. It was Jakob, a classmate from 9th grade that had spent last year as an exchange student in the states.

“Isak!”

“Jakob! Long time no see!”

“I can say the same. How are you?”

“I’m good,” he smiled. “No actually, I’m great! Meet Even, my boyfriend.” Isak was beaming with pride, letting go of Even’s hand so Jakob and Even could shake hands.

“Hi, I’m Even.”

“Jakob here,” he said looking a bit surprised.  

“So you-” Jakob hesitated.

“Yep. I’m loving them boys now.” Isak smiled.

“Last I heard was you and Sarah being together.”

“Oh god, don’t mention her. I rather not think about her.”

“Oh ok.” Jakob laughed. “I was wondering about that when I heard you were together…”

“Big mistake! Biggest one yet. Jesus Christ!” Isak shook his head and grabbed Even’s hand again.”This on the other hand,” he said and pointed at Even.

“You seem happy.” Jakob cut him off.

“Best thing ever happened!”

“Cool!” Jakob eyed his watch. “Well, I better get going if I’m not gonna be late for school.”

“Yeah, same here. It was nice to run into you. I guess we’ll see each other again sometime?”

“Sure. If there’s any party around, let me know.”

They said goodbye and Jakob went inside the the coffee shop while Isak and Even went to the tram stop.

“Why are smiling so wide?” Even asked Isak halfway to the stop.

“Because it feels so good.”

“What?”

“To be able to tell people that doesn’t know I’m gay that I got a boyfriend and not feel weird about it.” Isak stopped walking and looked at Even. “But what I love more, is to tell people  _you_  are my boyfriend. I just feel so darn lucky.”

Even looked at Isak with loving eyes and gave him a big, wet smooch.

“Hold that thought.” Isak fetched his phone from the pocket of his jacket. “I wanna eternalize this moment. Kiss me again.”

Isak snapped a photo of Even kissing him and couldn’t wait to upload it to Instagram, so everyone could see how happy he was and not to forget how happy Even looked.

Inside the tram, Even leaned his head against Isak, still holding hands. Even didn’t say much and Isak feel his tension linger in the air.

“Nervous? he asked.

“Mhm.”

“People will stare and it will get uncomfortable. At least that’s how it was for me. But there are people who doesn’t care as well. Like the boys and the girl-squad. Try focus on the good things.”

“Mmhm.”

Even took hold of Isak’s hand as they went off the tram and walked towards the school. He squeezed it a bit harder than usual and Isak pulled it close to him, kissing it repeatedly, trying to ease the tension.

“Even,” Magnus shouted from the other side of the school court. He ushered the boys to come along, to greet him and Isak. “So good to see you!” Magnus took a good grip around Even and hugged him.

“You too, thank you.”

Jonas and Madhi greeted Even with a fist bump.

“How are you feeling?” Magnus asked.

“Better, thanks to Isak,” he said and kissed Isak’s hand. “And you guys,” he quickly added.

“Mission completed,” Madhi said with a big grin.

“Yasss,” Jonas joined in! “No one fucks with any of the squad members!” Jonas clenched his fist.

“Magnus will fight anyone with a handstand,” Madhi laughed and soon everyone was laughing too.

“It was supposed to be a ninja kick! Arrgh.” Magnus let out a sigh and shook his head.

Isak eyed his phone, seeing it was time to go to class.

“Where are you today, Evi?”

“Room 205.”

“OK. I’ll catch up with you guys in class.”

“Ait. See you at lunch, Even.” Jonas said before they left.

“Aren’t you going too?”

“I’m following my boyfriend to class, if that’s OK?”

Even looked at Isak with loving eyes and kissed him on the mouth. As they started walking, Isak grabbed his hand, letting their hands entwine. While walking across the school court several people stared at them and Isak caught Even looking down as he walked. Isak’s chest tightened a bit, thinking about how Even must feel getting all those looks and he felt like screaming out loud, telling them to mind their own business, but he knew attention wasn’t something Even was looking for, so he kept his mouth shut and just hold Even’s hand tightly.

Inside the school, outside room 205, Isak gently pushed Even against the wall, leaned in and gave him a wet kiss. He placed one hand on Even’s ass and the other one caressed his face, while their tongues danced around in a passionate kiss. Isak paid no attention to the people passing, looking at them. It was rather cheesy and corny to make out with your boyfriend so openly inside school and he had mocked other couples for doing the same, but right now he couldn’t care less. Pleasing Even, make him less tense and maybe shift his focus from all the negative shit and onto something more positive was all that he cared about now.  

“I’m a sexual camel,” Isak breathed into Even, giggling and Even couldn’t help but laugh too.

“Did you just say that?”

“It’s the truth,” Isak let him know, letting go of his lips.

“You are impossible,” Even chuckled.

“Just wait until lunch. We can go back to that alley and then you can ride a camel.” Isak raised his eyebrows.

“Oh my god! I need to go now.” Even shook his head and smiled.

“See you later,” he said stealing a kiss before they parted.  

Half an hour before lunch, Isak texted Even asking if they were going to meet up outside the cafeteria at the start of the lunch break. Lunch came and Even hadn’t replied, so Isak went down to the cafeteria to look for him, maybe he’d just forgotten to let him know he was going to be there, but Even wasn’t there. Isak tried to call him and when he didn’t pick up the phone the second time, Isak got a little worried and told the boys he was going to look for him.

He walked to his classroom, asked a few girls from his class if they’d seen him, but Even was nowhere to be found and no one he asked had seen him. As he walked down the hall, heart racing a bit faster, he saw a guy he thought went in Even’s class.

“Ay, you’re in Even’s class right?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see where he went after lunch started? I can’t find him.”

“He walked in this direction,” the guy pointed. “I assumed he went to the library. But that was over an hour ago, we didn’t have class now.”

“Oh OK. Thanks.”

“You’re his boyfriend, right?”

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering.”

Just wondering, Isak repeated to himself, not believing him. Isak walked with fast steps towards the library, wondering why he hadn’t thought about that in the first place. The library was a perfect place to hide, he knew that all too well.

Inside the library, behind some huge shelves with books, he found Even sitting with his hoodie on, face planted in the table and it looked like he was trying to hide from the world around him. Isak pulled out a chair, sat down and placed his arm around Even, stroking his back.

“Evi?” he whispered.

“Hey,” he said quietly, looking at Isak.

“How are you feeling?”

“Not so good.”

“Awww, baby.” Isak pulled Even’s chair, forcing him to face him.”You want to talk about it?” He took hold of his hands and gently kissed them, still looking at him. “Has anyone said anything?”

“They don’t have to. I hear them whisper, but stop if I look at them or go by.” Even let out a loud sigh. “I got this pain in my chest and it won’t go away.”

“Where? Show me.”

“Here.”

Even pressed his fingers on a point a little below his left collarbone. Isak scooted forward on the chair, now sitting on the edge and snuck his hand under Even’s hoodie and t-shirt, searching for the painful spot.

“Is it here?”

“A bit lower.”

“Here?”

“Mhm”

Isak started to massage his chest, not letting go of his eyes. While sitting there, trying to ease up the pain he felt, Even’s stomach started to growl real bad.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, I haven’t eaten today.” he said apologetic.

“No food at all?”

“Nope.”

“Did you bring lunch? I have nothing and I need to buy something.”

“I don’t have any and I forgot my wallet.”

“I’ll buy you something, join me to the cafeteria?”

“I don’t know… I rather stay here.”

“OK. Then I’ll just buy something for us. I’ll be back in five.” Isak smiled and got up. “Even?”

“Yes?”

“I see the couch over there is available, maybe we can sit there?”

“Sure.”

The cafeteria was full of people, but most of them had already bought lunch, so only six minutes later was Isak back at the library. Even had placed himself on the couch and his eyes widen when he saw Isak.

“What?”

“You’re wearing the pink oversized hoodie?” Even said in disbelief. “At school?”

“Yeah, I told you it’s my fav hoodie.” Isak grinned back, placing him close to Even at the couch. “Here.” He handed him his chicken sandwich.

“Gosh, you are so freaking adorable.”

They sat quietly eating, with the sandwich in one hand and the other one placed on the other’s tight and Isak didn’t mind the silence, thinking it wasn’t necessary to talk all the time.

“Thank you for making me feel better,” Even suddenly said, having taken the last bite of the sandwich.

“Oh I didn’t do much,” Isak smiled.

“Just being here is enough, Isak.”

“It is? Good thing you’re stuck with me forever then.”

Even eyed the clock, seeing the lunch soon was over. He sighed and asked if Isak would follow him back to class and Isak let him know he would, he would follow him back to class or anywhere for that matter.

 

**.**

 

“Oh my god. You two!” Eva nearly screamed, seeing Isak and Even as they walked down the hall as the school day was over. “So relationship goals. If I asked Jonas to hold hands at school he would cringe.”

“Hi Eva,” Isak said smiling.

“And that pink sweater! Oh my god, you look so adorable. Is it really yours?”

“Even gave it to me.”

“Gave it to you?” Even raised his eyebrows. “I lend it to you and then you wouldn’t give it back. Do you call that giving you something?”

“Whatever, it’s mine now.”

“You two.” Eva sighed. “Best thing that happened to you Isak!”

“Best thing happening to me too,” Even said kissling Isak’s hand.

“Gosh, I think I need to hug you.” Eva smiled blissfully. “Can I hug you?” She didn’t wait for any of them to answer and opened her arms, making a sandwich with her in the middle, squeezing them both tightly.

When Eva left to meet up with the other girls, Even and Isak walked outside, seeing the boys right outside the entrance.

“We missed you at lunch, bro!” Magnus exclaimed, seeing Even.

“I just needed a timeout,” Even said apologetic, resting his eyes on his shoes.

“That’s understandable. It’s probably a bit overwhelming to be back.”

“Mhm.” Even nodded.

“Who’s down for Skur 5 now?” Jonas asked.

“I got biology test tomorrow that I need to study for.” Isak explained.

“What about you Even, are you in?”

“Another day, I’m exhausted.”

“Ait. Got it. Mags? Madhi?”

“I’m in,” they both said simoustanly.

The boys parted on the tram, leaving Isak and Even after two stops. Even said he would walk Isak home, as a thank you for helping him get through the day and they walked hand in hand from Brugata and all the way up to the door where Isak lived.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Isak pouted.

“But you need to study, “ Even argued.

Even gently pressed him up against the wall, taking hold of his lower lip with his teeth, sucking on it. Isak gasped as their lips met, trying to recall last time Even had initiated a kiss like that, realizing it must have been more than a week ago. Lust welled up in him and his whole body tingled, letting him how much he’d missed Even’s soft lips against his own.

“Oh how I’ve missed this,” Isak said breathing into Even’s mouth.

“Sorry for the long wait,” he apologized after letting go of Isak’s lips.

“Shhh. Just shut up and kiss me,” he urged.

They dived into another passionate kiss, got lost in each other and didn’t notice the world around them. Not the people going inside the door less than two feet beside them, not the barking dog passing them, not the guy from the other side of the street asking them to get a room or the ambulance with a loud siren hastily driving down a street close to them.

“We need to stop now.” Even moaned. “Before we reach the point of no return.”

“Just one more, please,” Isak begged, gently biting Even’s lower lip.

“I can’t,” he said playing along. “I’m getting a boner.”

“Come on. Don’t say that.” Isak breathed into Even. “Not fair. Now I want more.”

“It’s your fault.” Even reluctantly let go of Isak. “Meet me at the tram tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Isak leaned forward trying to steal a kiss, but Even pushed him away.

“Seriously, you need to stop.” Even saod, bringing a hand to Isak’s face and brushing his thumb over his cheekbone. Isak instantly took hold of his hand and kissed the palm of it.

“Text me tomorrow morning.”

“I will.”

 

**.**

 

\-------

**Sana**

**19:46**

 

Sanaoool!

Yes, Isabell?

I have a bio question.

Shoot.

Everything is affected by gravity right?

Even the organisms in the water are affected by gravity, so why do not the algae need to take into account gravity while plants on land have to?

 

You see, as you lie and float on the water, you are affected by both gravity and buoyancy. These two forces act in the opposite direction and will outweigh each other. Similarly, with water plants, when they grow on the bottom and extend to the surface, the buoyancy is greater than the weight.

Aha! Thank youuu! :D

:-)

I heard Even was back at school today btw.

Yeah :)

How is he doing?

He’s better. We’re taking one day at the time.

I’m sorry I pushed you to talk about Even.

It’s OK. I get you were desperate.

Yeah, but still- it wasn’t right.

Did you tell him I told you?

I did. But you don’t have to worry. He ain’t mad at you.

peace 'n luv

 

\-------

 

Isak lay in bed reading in his biology notebook trying to repeat what he needed to know one last time before going to bed, but he was so sleepy it was hard to remember what he was reading. Biology was one of his best subject, the one he really had the hang on. But last week's classes had gone by in a haze and he didn’t really remember anything of what the teacher lectured about, so it was good that Sana had been available to answer some questions. Maybe it wouldn’t go so bad on tomorrow’s test after all?

 

**.**

 

\-------

 **Evi** ❤

**23:56**

There? Are you up?

I am now ;) what’s up?

Oh did I wake you? I’m so sorry!

It’s fine ❤

I can’t sleep… been tossing and turning for an hour. Head spinning again.

Come here!

Now?

Yes! Why not?

But it’s late…

So? It’s never too late for YOU! Come!

Are you sure?

You are my boyfriend, of course I want you here.

❤

Just text me when you’re outside, then we won’t wake up the others.

\-------  


Fifteen minutes later, Even texted Isak letting him know he was there. He buzzed him in and stood in the hall in just his boxer waiting for Even to come up.

“Hey, baby”

“Hey.”

Even stood in the door opening, shifting gaze, clearly feeling awkward and uncomfortable, so Isak had to usher him inside by grabbing his hand. He leaned in and kissed Even on the cheek before taking off his scarf and beanie, signalising he should take off his outerwear.

Inside the bedroom Isak jumped into bed and watched Even undress, a sight he wondered if he ever would get tired of. To see his lean body unfold as all the layers of clothes fell on the floor, was a sight for sore eyes.

“I'm sorry I texted you so late and that I’m so needy.” He said, standing on the floor in just his boxer.

“I’m just happy I get a hunk next to me in bed. Who am I to complain?” Isak chuckled and winked, but Even didn’t laugh, he barely smiled. “Come here.” Isak patted on the bed and made place for Even under the duvet. “I want all of you, Evi. Happy Even, sad Even, excited Even, sexy Even and even needy Even. And for the record, I don’t find you needy right now.”

“You’re always so kind.” He said making swirls on Isak’s chest.

“So are you Even. You might not always see it yourself, but you are one of the kindest people I know.” Isak kissed his forehead. “If it had been the other way around, if I had texted you in the middle of the night saying I couldn’t sleep, you wouldn’t have hesitated to ask me to come over. Right?”

“I would’ve asked you to come, yes.”

“See.”

They lay in bed, Even with his head on Isak’s chest, talking, and it didn’t take long before Even started to yawn and fight his own eyelids. Isak kept talking, hearing Even mumbling his responses, until his eyes closed completely and he fell asleep.

Watching Even’s chest slowly going up and down, a whole lot of feelings welled up in him. Seeing Even sleep so peacefully filled up his heart with happiness, but something that felt even better, making him proud, was the fact that Even trusted him enough to let his guard down, he trusted him enough to be vulnerable and outspoken about how he felt. To know he was that someone he could open up to, felt incredibly good and he thought he had to thank him for letting him be that person.

 

**.**

 

Sitting in history class watching another boring film, this one about first world war, Isak let his mind wander off again and Even was of course the first thing that popped into his mind, it always was. What was Even doing now? What was he thinking about and how did he feel? Did someone stare at him in this very moment, making him uncomfortable?

Maybe he should do something special for Even, to lift his spirit? Do something to make him feel good, to feel loved and not like an outsider or weirdo. Suddenly he remembered the belated birthday gift from his mum, he had forgotten about the money she’d given him. He had to take him out on a date, but where?

Isak spent the rest of the class, thinking of places to take Even and things to do. Wouldn’t it be nice to go somewhere they could sit and watch the stars? And bring something hot to drink, like cocoa and maybe something for the sweet tooth to eat--like cinnamon buns that was their thing? Isak got the wild idea to bake the buns himself, but he quickly realised he would need help with that, considering he’d only baked a handful of times himself and that was many years ago.

**\-------**

**Noora**

**10:23**

 

Ay, are you home tonight? I need help with something.

What?

Promise you won’t laugh.

I promise.

I need help with baking cinnamon buns.

What? Cinnamon buns? Why?

It’s for Even, I’m gonna take him out on a date. Outdoor. I want hot cocoa and cinnamon buns, but I have no idea how to bake…

Please. You’ll get to taste as many as you like.

OH MY GOD! How romantic! ❤❤❤

Of course!

Don’t tell anyone, ok? I haven’t told Even yet.

Why don’t you surprise him?

It has crossed my mind.

Meet me after school?

Sure :)

Thank you <3 I owe you one.


	14. Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely readers. This is the second last chapter and the title of the chapters does say it all doesn't it? A date is happening, but...   
> Enjoy reading and feel free to let me know what you think ❤❤❤

\-------

**Evi ❤**

**18:05**

 

Baby, can we just hang out at your place tonight. I’m exhausted. 

I have other plans.

Oh you do? I thought we were gonna hang. So I won’t see you? :(

 

\--------

 

Isak looked at the phone and saw that Even had replied him, thinking he ought to see what he wrote, but there was no time, he had to collect his stuff and get off the bus soon. With a full backpack and a huge bag he’d borrowed from Noora he crossed the street and skipped the way to the coffeeshop. His heart was filled with happiness and butterflies flew inside him. He wondered how Even react to his surprise, did he like surprises? 

The coffee shop was closed, so Isak knocked hard on the door, hoping Even would hear him. He pressed his nose against the window, squeezing it, trying to see if he could spot him and he did. Even walked towards him and when he saw it was Isak that stood outside, he looked both happy and surprised.

“Hey. You’re here. I thought you had other plans?” 

“Hi.” Isak put down his bag, pulled Even close and gave him a kiss. “Other plans than chill at home yes.” 

“But-” Even looked confused.

“Oh, you thought I had other plans than being with you?”

“Well- uhm- yes.” Even said blushing, looking embarrassed. “When you wrote-” 

“You silly guy,” he interrupted. “I wouldn’t ditch the “us time” like that. Especially not now.” Their faces was inches away from each other now. Isak leaned in making their foreheads link and looked into Even’s beautiful blue eyes. “I got other plans for  _ us _ , baby,” he said stealing a kiss.  

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Sorry I doubted you. It was stupid.” Even sighed, looking down.

“It’s fine. Are you finished soon?” 

“I just have a few things to do. It will take ten minutes tops I think.”

“Good. Do your thing, then we can get going.” Isak smiled and let go of Even.

“What are we doing?”

“I’m taking you out on a date.” 

“A date.” Even lit up. “Where?”

“I’m not saying. But you’ll need this.” Isak pulled out one of his thick woolen sweaters from the bag. “It might be a bit short, but it’ll have to do. It was all I had. I also got some mittens, borrowed them from Eskild, just in case your hands get cold.”

Fifteen minutes later they stood outside waiting for the bus. Even was tired from working, both physically and mentally. It had been an extremely busy day with lots of customers and every time the door to the coffee shop had opened, he’d worried it was someone from school coming inside. No one at work knew about what had happened and he wanted it that way. 

Waiting for the bus, Even collapsed in Isak’s arms, placing his head on his shoulder, burying his face in his big burgundy scarf. Isak hold him tightly in his embrace, letting him rest. 

“Busy day?” Isak wondered, stroking Even’s back. 

“Yes.” Even nodded.

“We’re just gonna take it easy for the rest of the evening.”

“Good. I don’t wanna think at all, just be.”

“That’s the plan.”

It didn’t take long for the bus to arrive and 12 minutes later, they entered the subway station at the National Theater. It was dark outside, but Isak knew that most of Holmenkollen was lit up and he had bought a cheap led lamp just in case they needed more light, so he wasn’t worried. 

“Are you taking me out in the woods again?” Even asked, as they hopped on the subway to Frognerseteren, thinking about their first date at Grefsenkollen nearly two months ago. 

“Not this time. We’re going off the subway before we reach the forest.” 

Isak took the window seat and asked Even to next to him so they could be close. 

“Come here,” Isak invited, turning around, opening his arms so Even could rest in his embrace again and Even didn’t hesitate. 

“I love your arms,” he sighed happily, closing his eyes. “It feels good.”

“And I love you in my arms. My arms have found a new purpose. Hold you whenever it’s needed.” He smiled. “And not needed,” he quickly added.  

“They are doing a great job.”

“Do you like surprises? I wasn’t sure if I should tell you about the date or not.” He tousled with Even’s hair, it was always so nice to let his hand get lost in his soft and fluffy hair and he knew Even liked it too. 

“I’ve never been a fan of surprises. They hold so much expectations and I feel forced to like whatever comes, just because I don’t want to disappoint anyone.” He took a deep breath.

“Oh OK.” Isak stopped tousling his hair,  suddenly getting nervous. Had he been faking happy to avoid disappointing him?

“But with you it’s different.” Even straighten up and looked at Isak. “You only do good things, so I trust you. I can't imagine you arranging something bad.” He smiled, brushing Isak’s cheek with his thumb.

Isak’s eyes got glassy. Hearing that Even trusted him like that made his heart flutter. It was nothing more he wanted, to have someone who trusted him completely. 

“It feels so good to hear you say this.” Isak took hold of his hand and kissed the tips of his fingers. “I was thinking here the other day when you came over to sleep. I felt so incredibly proud that day that you let me be the person you open up to, the person you can be vulnerable around. I’ve never felt like that before and I want to thank you for that.” 

Isak looked Even in the eyes as he spoke.

“I’m the one who should thank  _ you _ for putting up with me,” he replied giving Isak a crooked smile. 

“I’m not putting up with you, Even. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I enjoy every single second with you.” Isak took hold of his neck and leaned in for a kiss, opening his mouth and took hold of his upper lip. “Like this second,” he breathed into his mouth, letting his tongue inside. “And this second and this one and this one,” he said between the wet and sloppy kisses. 

“You’re making me horny,” Even whispered giggling. 

“Whoa, that went fast.”

“I know, but I can’t control myself.”

“Tonight I’m all yours.”

“Do I get you all naked on the bed?” he whispered, letting his lips gently touch Isak’s ear.

“Yes. In the shower too.”

“Do you remember that thing you did in the shower last time?”

“Mmm. Do you want me to do that again?”

“Yes.”

_ Next stop Holmenkollen.  _

“We’re getting off here.” Isak said, reluctantly letting go of Even. 

It had taken twenty minutes to get to Holmenkollen and Even looked at Isak with wondering eyes as they walked off the subway and it looked like he didn’t really understand why they were at Holmenkollen or what they were gonna do there. Isak put on his backpack and Even offered to carry the bag. They walked up a narrow path, passing a restaurant, ending up at a sidewalk leading to the big lit up ski jump. 

“We’re going up there,” Isak pointed.

“Up the ski jump?” Even asked.

“Yep.”

“All the way up?”

“To the very top. I want to get as close to the stars as possible.” Isak smiled. 

“But isn’t it illegal to go all the way up there?”

“Probably yes, but who cares? No one's gonna stop me from taking my boyfriend on a date at the top of the ski jump. I doubt there is any guards there now anyway.”

“Did you come up with this idea all by yourself?”

“Mhm.”

“This day is getting way better than I could ever imagine.”

“Wait, can I take a picture of us under that lamp post? I promised mum I tell her about this.”

“You promised your mum?” Even wondered. 

“Yes I did,” Isak said and told Even all about the letter and the money she’d sent him. 

“So she gave you 1000 kroner to spend on us?”

“Mmm.” Isak smiled.

“Awww, that is so sweet and sad at the same time. Let’s take that picture, she deserves one.” 

They walked up the 600 stairs and both were out of breath when they reached the top. Isak took off this backpack and leaned into the fence, looking out over Oslo, seeing the dark city being lit up by thousands of lights. It was a pretty sight. Even put down the bag, walked over to Isak and placed himself next to him, putting his arm around him. 

“Wow, what a spectacular view even though it’s dark. Look at all the lights.” Even smiled brightly, trying to catch his breath. 

“It’s quite amazing. If it was daylight, I’m sure we could’ve spotted where we live.”

“Jeeze, those stairs took its toll on my legs,” Even complained. 

“You want to sit down?”

“I think I need that. It might be a bit cold though.”

“Don’t worry about that.”

Isak opened up the backpack and pulled out two woolen seat pads he’d borrowed from Jonas’ father. He placed them both on the hard concrete floor next to each other, before pulling up a small led light and turning it on.

“We got some more light. Sit down.” 

Even sat down and Isak placed himself next to him, both leaning against the wall behind them. He pulled out a fleece blanket, purchased for the occasion and laid it over them, so they would keep warm. 

“You want something warm to drink?”

“That would be nice.”

“Good, I got some hot cocoa for us. Do you want cream on top?”

“You got hot cocoa and cream?”

“Yeah,” he said looking at Even’s bright smile.  “And home made cinnamon buns.”

“What?” Even exclaimed. “You’ve baked cinnamon buns for us?”

“Mhm.”

“Oh my god. You are impossible. Come here.” Even made Isak turn around, inviting him into a kiss, long and passionate and they didn’t stop until they were out of breath again, but this time it felt way better. 

“You want more?” Isak asked, bringing his hand to Even’s back hair, pulling him closer, he could never get too close. Even’s hat fell off, but neither of them seemed to notice, absorbed by each other. “Or do you want to have that drink.”

“I want all of it at once, but I know that’s not possible,” he answered, gently biting Isak’s lip. “So I’ll have one more of th-” 

Isak didn’t let him finish and gave him a big smooch on the mouth, then parted his lips, inviting Even’s tongue inside again. He did not hesitate and soon they were tied up in a wet kiss again. This time it was urgent and sloppy, but still so, so hot and for a while they both forgot about the cocoa, the buns and everything else around them.     

“I’m a bit curious about those cinnamon buns now,” Even said as their lips parted. “Any chance I can have one?”

“Of course.” Isak let go of Even and opened up his backpack again, took out a plastic bag with buns and a thermos with the hot cocoa. 

“Here.” 

Isak handed him a plastic cup, poured up some cocoa, put some cream on top and gave him a cinnamon bun, before serving himself. Even took a big bite of the bun, it was a bit sticky since Isak had been very generous with the sugar and butter filling. He didn’t say anything, just chew as he looked intensely at the bun and Isak got a bit worried he didn’t like it.   

“Did you really bake these?” Even asked. 

“Yes I did.” He looked at Even waiting for his verdict. ”Well.. with a little help from Noora.”

“They taste delicious,” he said taking another big bite, letting Isak know he meant what he’d said. 

“I’m happy you like them,” Isak said with a relieved sigh. “Not too much filling?”

“Just perfect!” Even took a sip of the hot cocoa and got cream on his nose. “Did you make them just for me? For us? For this date?”

“Yeah.” He paused. “I wanted to incorporate all the things that reminds me of us into this date. That’s why I picked this spot, so we could be as close to the stars as possible, because everytime I see the stars, I think of you. The buns- you know. Oh and I have a song I want to play for you.” 

Isak blushed, hoping Even wouldn’t find it too cheesy or over the top. But Even didn’t say anything, he just continued to eat on his bun and Isak wondered what he was thinking of. They sat in silence for a short while and Isak waited for Even to say something.  

“How can you be so great?” Even asked, breaking the silence. 

“You are the reason.” The answer came without hesitation. It was so obvious, Isak had never been like this before, so open, generous with his smile and genuinely happy. Before he met Even, he’d been closed off, grumpy and so often uncomfortable. 

“How?”

“ _ You _ bring out the best in me.”

Even didn’t know what to say, so he just kissed Isak, before rearranging himself. He parted Isak’s legs and put the seat pad right in front of him, then sat down and wrapped his legs around his torso. 

They got lost in each other’s eyes, smiling but without saying anything. Only a faint buzzing sound from the city underneath them could be heard. Surrounded by darkness, the led light partly lit up their face and Isak took all of Even in. He couldn’t see them, but he gently touched the three small molds shaped like an L on Even’s cheek, thinking it stood for love or lovable.  

“Do you remember this song?” Isak fetched out his phone from his pocket and put on Because the Night by Patti Smith, thinking back on the first time spending time together, that evening that turned into a date. 

“How can I forget? That song will forever be linked to the evening at Grefsenkollen. When you played me that song, I nearly exploded inside. I had told myself not to get my hopes up, but with that song my dreams seemed closer than ever.” Even sighed happily.  

“And look where we are now?” 

“My dream came through,” he said and pressed his lips against Isak’s, giving him a wet kiss. “I never thought I could get someone like you.”

Isak leaned in, grabbed Even by his back hair and parted his lips,  catching Even’s upper lip between his own. They felt like silk and tasted like sugar. Even breathed into him and let out a moan as Isak gently bit his upper lip. He parted his lips soon as Isak let go, inviting Isak inside. Their tongues met and soon something ignited, making Even moan again.

“You’re making me horny,” Even whispered between kisses. 

“Again?”

“Sorry, I can’t help myself, “ he apologized. 

“Don’t be sorry. Just hold that thought until we get home, OK?”

“That won’t be any problem,” Even giggled as their lips parted.  “Can I play you a song?” Even asked with a cheeky smile when the song ended. Isak looked at him, raising his eyebrows. 

“No cheesy love song, OK?

“No, no. This is something totally different. I heard it here the other day, very beautiful,” he explained with a convincing voice. 

“OK.”

It took a little while before Even found the song, but eventually Sex Bomb by Tom Jones started to play. Isak looked at Even, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“Even! Ahhh. I take you out on a romantic date and then you play this song? I said no cheesy songs! It’s like the worst of the worst.” Even didn’t listen to Isak, just started to sing out loud. 

 

_ Now you found the secret code I use _

_ To wash away my lonely blues, well _

_ So I can't deny or lie, 'cause you're the only one to make me fly _

_ You know what you are, you are a _

_ Sexbomb, sexbomb, yeah, you're a sexbomb, uh, huh _

_ You can give it to me when I need to come along, give it to me _

_ Sexbomb, sexbomb, you're my sexbomb _

_ And, baby, you can turn me on, baby, you can turn me on _

 

“Even! You are impossible.” 

Even was now laughing so hard his whole body was shaking and the edge of his eyes crinkled up in the most endearing way. Isak looked at Even and couldn’t do anything but love that stupid song now. If this was what it took to see Even laugh like that, he would put that song on infinite repeat, because it was nothing more he loved than seeing Even laugh.

“But seriously, how come you know all these songs? The scariest thing is that you know the lyrics so well. Like how? ” Isak shook his head. “It’s kinda freaky.”

“Well, you know. I just love good, quality music. Tom Jones is a legend,” Even grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. 

“A legend? Are you serious? God, I don’t know what to make of you.”

“But you love it, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Isak sighed and had to admit he did love it. These songs were so cheesy, so over the top and so wrong, but at the same time he couldn’t not laugh thinking about them.  

Isak leaned in, closed the distance between them and kissed Even. Pressing his lips against Even’s was probably his favorite thing to do and he couldn’t imagine ever getting tired of it. They tasted so good, always so good and no one else had been close to kiss as good as Even. Thinking about this, his mouth widen so much their lips disconnected. 

“What are you smiling about?” Even wondered, trying to link their lips again. 

“The way you kiss me.”

“What about it?”

“You give me the best kisses. I’ve never had anyone kiss me like you do. You’re number one!”

“Oh-” Even paused and blushed shyly. “Who’s number two?” he asked curiously.

“Uhm-” Isak had to stop and think. “No one really.”

“Surely you’ve kissed other boys.”

“Yeah, but the few I’ve kissed- they haven’t been worthy a second place. They’re like all way down on the list- like number 18 or something.”

“So there is no one between me at the top and number 18?” Even laughed and shook his head. 

“Nope.”

“You are adorable, do you know that?” Even said placing a kiss on his nose.    
  


“Look at all the star. Do you think we’ll find Sirius?” Isak suddenly asked. 

“I know we can. It’s not that hard.”

“I have an idea. Let’s unfold the blanket and lay down.” 

They untangled and lay down side by side, bodies linking, on the fleece blanket, looking up at the starry sky, searching for their star. Even took hold of Isak’s hand, lacing their fingers. 

“Sirius, along with two other stars, Procyon and Betelgeuse if my memory isn’t failing me, forms one of the three vertices of the Winter Triangle,” Even explained. “And Sirius is the brightest shining star among them.”

“How come you know all this?” Isak asked curiously.

“Oh, I’ve just been reading.”

“Is that Sirius?” Isak pointed at a star above them. “Every star can form a triangle.”

“No, it’s not. Do you see the belt of Orion? The three stars that forms a belt.”

“Mmm.”

“I’ve read that Orion is very useful as an aid to locating other stars. If you extend the line of the Belt southeastward, you can find Sirius. So the bright shining star south east of the Belt is Sirius.”

“Oh, I think I see it. Like there?” Isak pointed out in the air.

“Yes. That is Sirius.” 

“Cool. We found our star,” Isak said blissfully.

“We sure did.”

Isak rolled over the side, looking at Even, feeling his heart swell two sizes. Laying on the blanket, on top of the ski jump, looking at the stars holding Even’s hand, must be the most romantic thing ever happened in his life. He was getting cold, but it didn’t matter. A happy sigh escaped his mouth, making Even turn around looking fondly at him. 

“I’m just so happy,” Isak said before Even got the chance to open his mouth. 

“So am I,” Even smiled blissfully. 

“To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy as I am right now.”

“No?” 

“Well maybe that time I found out you liked me too. That moment I connected all the dots and went  _ holy fuck, he’s into me too _ was pure bliss. But apart from that, this is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“Same here. That first time you kissed me, oh boy, I nearly imploded from happiness, because my heart had trouble dealing with it. Couldn’t really grasp the fact that you liked  _ me _ , that the most precious thing on earth wanted to kiss  _ me _ . I still have trouble understand how I got that lucky. I’m just an average guy with a troubled mind. I sometimes wake up at night and have to pinch myself when I see you next to me, thinking it surely is just a dream.” 

“Average guy? If average guy means fucking special, awesome, genuine, gentle and funny- sure yeah, you’re an average guy.”

Even leaned in and brushed the tip of his nose against Isak’s. He gave only a single short happy sigh and then angled his head to kiss him. 

“I like eskimo kisses,” Isak said when their lips parted again. 

“Me too,” Even smiled. 

“Your nose seemed cold.”

“It is. Yours too.”

“Mmm.”

“Do you wanna leave?”

“Not really,” Even said and scooted himself even closer to Isak and wrapped his arm around his middle. “I could lay like this forever.” He breathed into Isak’s open mouth. 

“Me too.” Isak paused. “But maybe I can tempt you with a warm shower,” he whispered. “You and me wrapped around each other.”

“Are you trying to make me horny?” Even raised his eyebrows.

“Maybe I am?” Isak smirked. 

“In that case, you’re doing the right thing.”

“Think about it. Two naked bodies, groins pressed against each other, my hands digging into you, my tongue shoved down your throat.”

“I’m already sold. Let’s get home.” 

They kissed one more time before packing up and leaving the ski tower. On the subway home, Isak uploaded the picture they’d taken earlier to Instagram. Everyone needed to see how happy they were together, both their friends and their enemies, especially Tom.

“Even?” Isak asked leaning his head against Even’s shoulder inside the nearly empty subway.

“Mhm.”

“I just come to think of something. This might sound dumb, but would you like to draw me?”

“Draw you? I would draw you any day, baby. You are my fav subject. Why do you want a drawing of yourself? Are you  _ that _ in love with yourself?” Even teased wiggling his eyebrows. 

“No,” Isak laughed. “I’m not  _ that  _ self centered.” Isak elbowed Even. “I was more thinking of giving my mum a portrait. Do you think it’s lame?”

“Oh- your mum. Not at all. But I’m not that good. Not sure if your mum would be satisfied with a portrait by me,” Even huffed. “I’m not exactly Munch or Picasso.”

“Not that good? You are great Even!” Isak argued. “Don’t talk yourself down. Even if you’re no Munch, you are so much better than the average people and it would be kind of special that it’s you that drew it.” Isak took hold of Even’s hands and kissed them. “Please.”

“How can I say no to you when you give me that look?” Even huffed out a laugh. 

“What look?”

“That look you just gave me. Batting your eyelashes towards me and looking all cute with red roses in your cheeks.”

“So you will do it?” Isak grinned. 

“Of course.” 

“Thank you!” Isak gave Even a giant smooch on the chin. “We should go visit her together. Would you do that? I’ve already met your mum so-”

“Sure. I wouldn’t mind.” 

“You wouldn’t find it awkward?”

“Nah. It will be fine.”

“Talking about awkward. First time I met your mum- oh my god.”

“What?”

“I asked if I could stay the night. It was so embarrassing, since I’d just said hi to her two minutes prior,” Isak laughed. 

“You did?” Even laughed too. “I bet you looked all cute and what not,” Even grinned and put his arm around Isak, squeezing him hard, ruffling his hair. 

“Well, she had to drag the words out of me, because I was so fucking nervous. I probably looked like a complete dork.” 

“A cute dork. Probably the cutest dork ever.”   

“I don’t know about that.” Isak rolled his eyes. 

“My cute dork. I’m gonna ask my mum about this!” 

“Oh god, please don’t!” Isak groaned. 

“I so am! I need every detail about this,” Even said enthusiastically. 

“Whatever.”

.

  
  


As soon as they got home, they undressed and turned on the shower. Even with a warm blanket up at the ski tower and kisses to keep them warm, they still had gotten cold to the bone.

The cramped up in the relatively small shower, it wasn’t made for two really, but they didn’t care. A small shower meant they had to be closer and who didn’t like that? All they wanted was to get warm and they could easily get that wrapped around each other. And hey, being close meant easy access to each others lips and lips wasn’t something they ever could get enough of - at least not each others. 

Standing wrapped up in the shower kissing, it was inevitable to not be aroused, groin brushing against each other, dicks swaying, and it didn’t take long before they got more heated up by each other than the warm water coming down in streams from the showerhead in the roof. 

Stumbling out of the shower and into the bedroom, they fell on the bed and even before they had dried up, they were all over each other. Mouth glued together, limbs weaved into the other, heaving chests and aroused members and minds. 

It had been merely two weeks since last time and even thought it felt like two eternities ago, Even took his time, didn’t rush it this time either and let their bodies slowly weave into each other. 

Isak didn’t have anything to compare it with, but he still thought Even must be the best one in this universe or any other universes for that matter, to make love. Because it was that he did, he made love to him, so slow and so delicate and Isak felt just as special as the first time. 

“Holy fuck,” Isak exclaimed, trying to catch his breath. “That was intense.”

“Mmm.” Even said with a content smile on his face. 

“We need to do this more often.”

“We sure do.” Even smiled fondly at Isak, brushing away hair from his forehead. “And you need to take me on more dates like tonight.” 

“Yeah?” Isak smiled, taking hold of Even’s hand. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Best fucking date ever!” 

“Oh-” Isak blushed and felt his heart swell two sizes. “You deserved every minute of it. I know things haven’t been easy the last two weeks to say it mildly.” Isak looked at Even that suddenly drifted off for a while. 

“Not for you either,” Even eventually said pensively. “I’m sorr-”

Isak cut him off mid sentence with a kiss on the lips, not interested in hearing about any apology because there wasn’t anything to be sorry about. Isak knew that it had been the bipolar part of Even that had doubled himself, his value as a person and boyfriend and this relationship, not Even. As their lips parted, Even’s phone beeped. 

“Just one moment,” Even said and got up. Isak watched his lean body and firm ass as he walked over to the cupboard to get his phone. Seeing his member sway a little as he turned around Isak decided he was going to give Even one more round of pleasure by offering him a blowjob. 

Two seconds later he changed his mind, seeing Even with a terrified look on his face. It looked like he’s seen a ghost and his heart was about to stop. His eyes widen filling up with tears and he started to breath heavily, erratic and uneven. A panic attack was on its way and Even shut his eyes and tried his best to get control of his breath, but it was impossible. 

Isak abruptly tossed the duvet aside, got out of bed and rushed over to Even.

“Even, look at me,” he said cupping his face, not fully understanding what was happening, but enough to see he needed help. “Look at me and breath slowly. In and out, in and out. Slowly.” 

Isak had a firm grip on Even and didn’t let go of his eyes until his breathing was somewhat under control again. 

“I think it was-” he started, unable to say his name out loud. “-him.” His voice was so low, Isak had trouble understand what he was saying and his eyes were full of tears. 

“Who?”

“Him.” 

“Him?” Isak asked not able to connect the dots, but when he finally did, a few seconds later, his eyes frowned, blood surged inside him. “Oh him!” Isak read the message Tom had sent Even. 

_ Why don’t you just kill yourself? Lol _

Isak wrapped himself around Even, hugged him tightly, not saying anything. His body was shaking and the chest tighten, making it hard to breath. It was hard to stay strong, when all he wanted to do was scream out loud and cry. 

Suddenly Isak’s stomach revolted and it felt like both the hot cocoa and the cinnamon buns was on the way back. He swallowed a couple of times, trying to keep himself from puking, but it looked like his stomach had other plans. 

“Toilet.” Isak ran into the bathroom and nearly missed the toilet. He landed on his knees, head over the seat spraying the white porcelain with everything he had eaten the last hours. Even came after Isak, seeing him sitting on the bathroom floor breathing heavily. 

“Hey, are you OK?” Even asked with a shaky voice and eyes full of tears.

“Yeah, sorry.” He said, got up and rinsed his mouth. “Shit that came fast,” he huffed. 

Isak put his arms around Even and hugged him. They stood like that, wrapped around each other, still naked, both shaking, not saying anything for a long time and it felt good to know they had each other. 

“Let’s go to bed and kiss until our lips are numb. Let’s kiss until we forget why we’re upset or scared. Let’s just forget everything but us. OK?”

“Yes,” Even mumbled into Isak’s skin. 

“I refuse to let someone dictate when I’m gonna be happy or not and when we kiss, no one will have it better than us and no one will be able to take that away from us.”

Isak let their foreheads link and pierced his eye into Even’s. 

“Are you OK?”

“No, but if you kiss me, hopefully it will get better,” Even said barely audible. 

“Then let’s kiss,” Isak said and pressed his lips against Even’s. 

They stumbled into the bedroom, lips mounted and nearly fell onto the floor in front of the bed, not seeing the shoes in front of them. A few seconds later, they crawled under the duvet and Isak pulled Even close, so close their body linked, because they could never get close enough. 

When their lips met, Isak closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the moment, shutting out his thoughts, every worry, the knot in his stomach and the world around him. This moment should only contain two things - Even and him. 

They kissed for the longest time, neither of them sure of how long, but their lips were chapped, nearly numb and the most prominent dullness in their chests had faded, making it easier to breath.

“I love you, Evi.”

“And I love you, baby.”

“You know what?” Isak pulled strings of hair away from Even’s forehead.

“No?” Even answered, brushing his thumb on Isak’s cheek. 

“Together we are unbreakable. If anyone tries to break us, if anyone makes us feel like we just did, we just kiss until things get better. Right?”

“We just kiss until things get better,” Even nodded. 


	15. Payback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end people! I hope you like the ending. Thank you everyone who has read, liked or commented on this story. Love you all <3<3<3

Isak woke up early with a bittersweet feeling lingering in the air. Even was sleeping peacefully beside him, looking like an angel, and he couldn’t be more happy about that. But the fact that Tom had ruined their perfect evening was taking up so much space in his head and heart. Logic said it wasn’t his fault that Tom was a mean human being projecting his hate towards him via Even, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty for Tom to make Even’s life hard. As if life wasn’t hard as it was, he didn’t need Tom’s hate on top on everything that troubled him.

Isak got out of bed, tiptoed over the floor not to wake up Even, thinking he could rest his head and sleep some more. Because if he was asleep, his troubled mind was at ease at least.

If Tom only had projected all his hate towards him, it would’ve been so much better, but Tom wasn’t stupid, he knew he would easily get him this way and Tom was too fucked up to care about dragging Even down too.

It was no use to write him back with angry words, that would only feed his ego, fuel his desire to keep on. He didn’t want to engage in any conversation with him either, so he did the only thing he could think of and put up a happy picture of them with a text saying: _a silent fuck you to the ones that hate me/him/us._

It took only two minutes before Jonas texted him, asking if everything was OK and Isak was surprised he was awake, taken it was only 7.30 and Jonas had been partying the night before. Isak asked if he could call him and Jonas didn’t bother texting back, he just called up Isak, being the best friend he was.

They talked for a good twenty minutes, Isak sitting on the toilet seat with the door locked. Isak told him everything and he could feel Jonas’ blood surge and clenched fist just by hearing his voice. By the end of the conversation, Isak hoped that Jonas wouldn’t meet Tom, because he knew that Jonas had had enough and surely would punch him in the face if the opportunity arised. Isak asked Jonas not to say anything to Even about this thing unless Even brought it up, because he wasn't sure if Even wanted everyone to know.

Right after they’d hung up, Isak got another notification from Insta and he looked at it. Surprisingly many had liked the picture, even though the clock had just passed 8 on a saturday morning and some had even written a comment.

It was Jonas who noticed it first and texted Isak who still was locked up in the bathroom. Tom had slipped and used his real account to comment his picture of him and Even.

_Oooh, so Even didn’t take my advice and killed himself last night? How disappointing :(_

Isak tiptoed back to his room hoping Even wouldn’t see the comment, forgetting he tagged him in the post. Opening the door he saw him sitting upright in bed with lifeless eyes, flickering his phone in his hands.

“You’ve seen it too?” Isak asked walking over to the bed.

“Mhm,” Even said barely audible, staring out in the open.

“How are you feeling?” Isak jumped into bed, scooted himself close to Even, sitting back on his knees.

“I’m happy I’m in bed with you,” Even said quietly forcing a small smile. Isak could see he was struggling with his answer and he felt Even was trying to come up with something positive instead of being honest, just to push the negative thoughts away.

“I’m happy you are here too.” He paused for a few seconds, took hold of Even’s head and forced him to look his way.. “-but you know, it’s OK not to feel great after what’s happening.”

“It’s just- I’ve felt way too miserable and depressed lately and I don’t want you to be a tangled up in my heavy head _again_ ,” Even sighed out loud.

“Evi, it’s fine. Even I woke up with a dull and prominent pain in my chest. And I _want_ to know when you’re not feeling great. You don’t have to pretend thing are good if they’re not. I can see it it in your eyes anyway.” Isak placed his hand on Even’s cheek and gently caressed it.

“Is it that obvious?” Even huffed.

“Mhm. They’re not really sparkling like they do when you’re happy.”

“Pfft. Fuck,” he mutted

“You know I love you just as much if you’re feeling down.” Isak brushed his thumb against the smooth skin on his cheek. “We are in this together you know, it’s not you or me, it’s us.”

“Us.” Even let the word linger on his tongue and eventually a small smile revealed. “I like _us_ ,” he said and put his hand on top of Isaks’. “Can we do like last night?”

“Kiss?”

“Mhm.” Even nodded.” Maybe that ache in my chest will fade a little?”

Isak didn’t say anything, just scooted himself even closer, happy Even didn’t ask him how he was doing because he didn’t want to bother him with his thoughts, then angled his head so they could kiss. And they kissed for what seemed like an eternity and they only stopped to change their position, so both were more comfortable.

Slightly cold, only Isak of course, they slid down under the duvet, pulling it all the way up to their shoulders. Isak wrapped himself around Even, legs weaved into his and one hand massaging the spot where the pain was pinned to the chest. They didn’t talk, sometimes it was enough to just lie close, listen to each other breath and feel the others skin. The massage slowly turned into soft swirls, fingers trailed his skin light as feather.

“I think I’m gonna-” Even mumbled.

“What?” Isak asked quietly looking at Even struggling to stay awake.

“I think I-” Even mumbled again, “-slee.” A split second later, he was gone, chest going steadily up and down.

“Get some rest, baby,” Isak said and kissed his temple before closing his own eyes, thinking he might as well sleep some, it was still early.

Almost two hours later, they were both awake, still curled up in bed, bodies linked, caressing each other.

“Are you hungry?” Isak asked, repeatedly drawing a heart with his index finger on his belly.

“Nah, not really.”

“OK.”

“But you can get up and eat if you like.”

“Nah, I rather stay here under the warm duvet with you.”

Suddenly both of their phones peeped at the same time and Even flinched, body instantly tense up. Isak stretched out his hand and fetched out his phone, seeing it was Magnus that had written something in the group chat.

“Mags in the group chat,” Isak jus said, hearing Even exhale loudly. “He wants to know if we’re ready for the skatepark in an hour. Are we?”

“I- I think-.”

“Do you wanna stay here?”

“Mmh,” Even nodded.

“It’s fine, we can meet the boys another day. I’ll Mags know.”

“Let me write him,” Even said reaching for his phone.

\-------

**The Squad**

**11:20**

Mags: ready for Skur 13 in an hour?

Even: Sorry, but I’m not up for it. Don’t wanna go outside and meet people today...

I’m staying here with Even <3

Madhi: Yo! I’m ready. Next time, Even :)

Mags: No stress. Next time <3

Even: next time yes :)

\-------  

.

 

An hour later, they were still in bed, neither of them very keen on talking about Tom so they had just put up some old Seinfeld. Noora and Eskild were about to leave the apartment, they were going shopping. Eskild was going to some birthday and needed some new clothes. From the other side of the door, they had heard him beg Noora to join him. _Please baby Noora, it will be quick, just an hour. Pretty please._ Noora had eventually said yes, probably just to shut him up.

Before leaving, Eskild popped his head inside Isak’s room, seeing Isak and Even curled up in bed, staring aimlessly at the TV screen, only short laughs escaping their mouths. He immediately sensed something was up and was out of the room as quickly as he had entered it.

“Hmm, that's odd.” Isak said with a frown.

“What?” Even asked looking at him for a brief second.

“Eskild just popping his head inside the room, then leaving again without a word.”

“Mhm. Odd indeed,” Even looked at Isak again, letting out a small chuckle. “I’m sure he will come back before they go shopping, leaving us a grand goodbye.”

Four minutes later Eskild waltzed in with a bowl of fruit and two cups of tea. He took a spin on the floor and it was a miracle he didn’t spill any of the tea on the tray.

“Romservice! Would my lovely babies care for some fruit and tea?”

“We are no-” Isak started, ready to roll his eyes, but stopped mid sentence because it was a nice gesture of Eskild to bring them tea and fruit. They hadn’t asked for anything, but he had probably seen the grey cloud over their head and wanted to cheer them up. “Yes,” Isak smiled brightly, straightening up in bed. “Thank you, this was really nice.”

“Thanks. It looks lovely,” Even chimed in, giving Eskild the smile he knew he wanted.

“Enjoy the meal. Noora and I, we’re going out for some shopping. She happily agreed to come along help me pick out an outfit for tonight.”

“Happily?” Isak raised her eyebrows. “There’s thin walls here Eskild, have you forgotten that? We heard you beg like a five year old begging for candy.” Isak chuckled.

“I _know_ there is thin walls here, Linn reminded me this morning, telling me she’d heard you repeatedly scream loudly last night.”

Even choked on the piece of orange he was nibbling on, juices coming everywhere and Isak just covered his crimson red face in his hands.

“You’re cute when you blush, baby bean.”

“Just go, Eskild. I bet Noora is waiting.”

“Good job last night, Even.” Eskild winked and turned.

“Uhm- thanks I guess,” Even replied still chuckling. “What did I tell you,” Even said giggling.

“Jesus Christ, sometimes I wish I lived on my own,” Isak shook his head and took a bite of a banana.

The brief encounter with Eskild had lifted the mood a little bit, but they still stayed in bed staring into the screen, half heartedly watching Seinfeld. Suddenly they heard the doorbell rang and Isak lay still, hoping it would stop, they weren’t expecting anyone anyway, but when it kept on buzzing, he reluctantly got out of bed and out in the hall. Half a minute later he was back in the bedroom.

“The boys are here.”

“Huh? Didn’t they go to the skate park?”

“I dunno, they are here at least and I sort of had to buzz them in.”

“Of course.” Even looked at Isak, then at himself. “Uh, maybe we should get dressed?”

“Probably.”

Isak put on some sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Even grabbed his t-shirt, seeing it had a big stain on it. Out of other things to wear, he grabbed the first t-shirt he could find in Isak’s closet and ended up with a little too short Simpson t-shirt, leaving a gap between it and the waistband of the sweatpants. With no socks and messy hair, looking a bit like Einstein, he walked out in the hall with Isak.

“Hey, guys,” they said simultaneously, Isak leaning against Even, arms wrapped around his middle.

“Hey, boys!” They all greeted, Magnus walking in first, Madhi and Jonas right after.

“What the fuck has happened?” Isak exclaimed, staring at Jonas.

“I just ran into Tom’” Jonas explained.

“Oh-” Even just said.

“I couldn’t help myself,” he shrugged putting his hands in the air.

“Tom looks worse,” Magnus chuckled.

“You shouldn’t have,” Even said with a low voice. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“That’s when you are wrong, Even. I should have and I did, because no one treats my friend like that. No one! That mother fucker deserved it! Some bruises is nothing compared to what you have gone through.”

Even took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Jonas, giving him a real good hug whispering a thank you and even though Jonas wasn’t much of a hugger, he hold on to Even as long as Even wanted.

“Your nose isn’t broken, is it?” Even asked worried, taking a step back.

“No, only a bit sore, but I suspect Tom’s are,” he chuckled.

“I’m positive because that noise he made when your fist hit him- it sounded like a broken nose kinda sound.” Magnus laughed out loud.

“Yeah, that was some heavy shit man!” Madhi chimed in.

Suddenly the doorbell rang again and Isak looked confused, wondering who it could be this time, taken that Noora and Eskil had left and Linn hardly had anyone over.

“Pizza delivery,” a guy said as Isak pressed the intercom to his ear.

“Pizza delivery?” Isak said confused. “This must be a mist-” Magnus yanked the phone out of his hand.

“I’ll buzz you in. It’s the 4th floor.”

“Huh?” Isak and Even looked confused at the boys.

“We skipped the skating and thought we could hang here instead. Magnus came up with the idea to bring pizza, because pizza is always a good idea, but you know us, we’re lazy as fuck so we had it delivered here!” Jonas explained.

“I hope it’s OK,” Madhi asked.

Isak looked at Even, wondering what he thought, if he was up for it.

“We even brought a movie,” Madhi continued. “We thought it could be a low-key hang. No pressure and we will leave when you are fed up with us.”

“Just a heads up before you decide, Even. It’s not a epic love story, but some real gangster shit though!” The roomed filled up with laughter and when Isak saw Even was smiling, he let out a happy sigh and squeezed his middle.

“Uhm- look at you, poorly dressed, not even socks on, we didn’t interrupt anything, did we?” Jonas wondered.

“No, we were just spacing out in bed watching Seinfeld,” Isak assured.

“But is it OK that we’re here?” Magnus asked.

“It’s fine,” Even said and smiled shortly.

The pizza delivery handed them three large pizza, some sour cream and a large can of coke and Magnus paid for the whole ordeal. Isak ushered them into his room, because the TV in the living room was broken. He took hold of Even as he was about to go, just to check on him.

“You OK with this? I can kick them out if you’re not up for it.” Isak brushed away hair from his forehead so he could see his eyes better.

“It’s fine. Madhi said low-key, it’s only pizza and a movie. How about you?”

“Me?”

“Are you fine with it?”

“Sure. Like you said, it’s only pizza and a movie.”

“I can see that there is something tugging in the back of your head and I have a fairly good idea of what it is.”

“Oh-”

“I know you feel guilty. This sucks more than anyone can imagine, but I rather have this than not having you at all. Because that would be the case if this was never to happen. And it’s not your fault.” Even wrapped himself around Isak and kissed his neck. “Now let's go and have some of that pizza. The smell actually made me a bit hungry.”

The boys had already occupied the bed so Isak and Even was confined the floor, but they didn’t mind. They made themselves comfortable in front of the TV, leaning against the bed, legs weaved into one another.

“I love you,” Isak whispered mouth full of pizza as the movie started. “Like really, really love you.”

“Love you too,” Even whispered back.

Two hours later the movie ended and Magnus couldn’t stop chanting about how good he thought it was.

“What did you think guys? It was awesome, right?” Magnus addressed himself to Even and Isak.

“Eh-” They both said simultaneously with a hint of red roses in their cheeks. Both of them had spaced out half an hour into the movie, mind clouded by last night. “I’m sure it was a great movie, the start was good-” Even started. “I just couldn’t focus,” he said apologetic. “Sorry.”

“Me too,” Isak had to admit.

“Oh, that’s fine. Nothing to be sorry about. I get it,” Magnus said and the others agreed, humming and nodding their heads.

“Sorry I’m not the best company right now,” Even sighed. “It’s just that-”

“You don’t have to explain, Even. We get it. Maybe we can meet up another day, when things are a bit better?” Jonas said. Even just nodded and swallowed a couple of times, trying to stifle a cry.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea,” Isak said seeing Even struggle.

They got up from the bed and went out in the hall, getting dressed.

“Magnus?” Even said, pulling him aside.

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t properly thanked you-”

“Thanked me?” Magnus wondered.

“For talking to Isak when my world crashed. He told me your mum-” Even took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

“She’s bipolar too, yes” Magnus squeezed his shoulder gently. “You don’t need to thank me. It was the least I could do. Isak was a wreck and when Sana confirmed you were bipolar, I thought I should talk to him, reassure him that it was not the end of the world, that you too would be fine. Because when you got that solid foundation of love, anything is possible. Never doubt he’s up for this, because the way he talks about you, sometimes I think he will run out of superlatives to describe how awesome you are or how much he loves you.”

“Thank you,” Even whispered and embraced Magnus, holding on so long everyone’s eyes turned to them.

“You’re more than welcome, Even,” Magnus patted his back a few times. “If you ever want to talk about the illness or I dunno, life or whatever, I’m available. Whenever.”

“Thanks,” Even said letting out a short smile, still wrapped around Magnus. “I might take you up on that offer.”

“I hope you do.”

The boys left and Isak and Even stood in the hall looking at each other. Even let out a huff, looking apologetic at Isak and Isak instantly knew what he was thinking about. He took hold of Even’s arm, pulling him close, then tilted his head slightly, looking up to level with Even’s big, blue and beautiful eyes.

“It’s OK. I wanted them to leave too,” Isak said softly, tucking a string of hair away from his forehead.

“It wasn’t rude to kick them out? They did come with free pizza and movie.” Even asked.

“No, don’t worry about it. They understand.”

“Sure?” Even’s hands tugged at the hem of Isak’s sweatpants.

“Yes,” Isak reassured him, closing the distance between them even more, letting his nose brush against Even’s.

“I like Eskimo kisses,” Even suddenly said with a smile on his face, before stealing another kiss.

“Me too.” Isk smiled back. “What I also like-” Isak said nestling his head in the crook of his neck. “-is this. Your soft skin against my chin. And when you hold me-” Isak took hold of Even’s hands and wrapped the properly around his middle. “Yes, like that,” he said feeling Even tighten the grip like he’d read his mind. “I feel safe.” Isak let out a content sigh.“

“I like the idea of keeping you safe,” Even said kissing the top of Isak’s head. “Not sure if I’m doing such a good job though.”

“Even-” Isak said firmly, slowly letting go of the comfort of the arch of Even’s neck. “You are doing the best job.”

“Are you sure?” he asked doubtful.

“Come here,” Isak just said, untangled him from Even and took hold of his hand. He led them to the bedroom and Isak asked Even to lie down, before he took off his t-shirt and lie down on this back next to Even. “My heart yes. Just listen to it, Even.” Isak pointed at his chest. “Place your fingers here and press gently. Can you feel my heart?” Even moved his fingers slightly.

“Yes.”

“It beats slowly and steady right?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s my heart telling you are doing a mighty good job at making me feel safe.”

 

.

 

“Isak?” Even played with Isak’s hair as he sat in bed with Isak’s head in his lap, watching some nature series from BBC narrated by David Attenborough.

“Yeah?” Isak looked up at Even.

“I’ve been thinking about something-” he stated.

“Mhm?”

“I was thinking about inviting the boys over next weekend. For a party- or- I dunno. Some beers and pizza maybe? I got some weed too.”

“Cool.”

“Do you think they would come?”

“There is nothing I’m more sure of.” Isak smiled. “Uh- apart from how much I love you that is.”

Isak took hold of Even’s head and pulled it down. His intention was to link their lips into a kiss, but they weren’t angled the right way, so he his lips landed on his chin instead, letting out a small laugh.

“Yeah?” Even lit up.

“If you just mention the word weed, you’ll have Mags humping your leg as a dog with maturity.

“Humping my leg?” Even snorted.

“Yes.”

“I like Magnus,” Even confessed with a smile. “If there is one person that deserves weed, it’s him.”

“Like him?” Isak raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. He’s really good guy.”

“But you’re not gonna let him hump your leg.” Isak abruptly got up and straddled Even, looking him deeply in the eyes. “Because your legs are all mine and I’m the only one allowed to hump them.” He tried to keep a straight face, but it was nearly impossible and four seconds later the corner of his lips moved and he let out a small laugh.

“They are yours, baby,” Even said and placed kiss on his mouth. “Just yours.” Even leaned forward and showered Isak with wet kisses all over his face, before he leaned back again resting his eyes on Isak’s grinning face. “I want to thank them for being so supportive,” he said pensively and smiled briefly.

“I’m positive they will appreciate that.”

“And for you-” Even started.

“Me?”

“Yes, _you_ ,” he pressed his index finger at Isak’s heart, piercing his eyes into his. “I haven’t quite yet figured out a way big enough to thank you for being the most incredible boyfriend anyone can ask for. But I will, you just have to have some patient.”

“Oh-” Isak blushed and they lapsed into a short silence, Even thinking of how to thank Isak and Isak how the respond to the high praise. “I would just settle for a blow job.”

\-------

**The Squad**

**19:38**

 

Even: hi guys. Any plans for saturday?

Madhi: nope

Jonas: no plans yet.

Mags: negative.

Even: wanna come hang at my place? Pizza, beer and a joint.

Madhi: yassss

Mags: omg. Yes! I love you Even.

Back off Mags, Even is mine! **❤**

Even: **❤**

Mags: sharing is caring **❤**

Even: Isak is bit avaricious ;-p

WTF Even?

Even: **❤ ;-)**

I’m not sharing. So if you want Mags Even, go ahead and grab him. I’m out of here.

 

_Isak left the group_

_Even added Isak to the group_

 

Jonas: you can do better than Mags, Even. Stick with Isak

Mags: WTF Jonas?!

Even: bby, you know I only want you **❤❤❤**

Jonas: sorry, Mags.

Truth hurts, doesn’t it Mags?

You gotta prove it, Even

Even: put down your phone and I’ll prove it to you. I’ll give you what you talked about earlier today ;-) Let this be the my first step to thank you

Mags: BJ?! Or number two?

Mags!!!

Jonas: and we all know that a happy Isak is WAY better than a grumpy one.

Jonas: so it’s better that Isak and Even sticks together forever.

Mags: true.

Madhi: oh yes. Grumpy Isak, ugh.

Jonas: thank you for saving Isak (and us) from eternal grump, Even.

Even: ❤

❤

Jonas: anyway, party is ON!

Even: ..

Even: Isak is all over me... gott ag jkoævvf

Madhi: wut?

Mags: and there we lost the lovebirds again.

.

The clock had just turned 14.30 and it was over four hours to the boys were coming, they had lots of time let to prepare for the get-together, still Even was running around like crazy doing three things at once. He had asked him at least four times if he was sure they had ordered enough pizza.The bag of cinnamon buns Isak had brought had just been put on a plate to defrost and now he was in front of the laptop with Spotify open, apparently trying to make the perfect playlist for the evening. He tapped his leg uncontrollably huffing and puffing, adding and deleting songs like his life was depending on this playlist.

“Even, come here.”

“Just one moment, I need to finish the playlist and then I need to check if we have enough chips. Maybe we should’ve bought peanuts too?”

“It wasn’t a question, come here.”

Even reluctantly got up from the chair and met Isak on the kitchen floor.

“What?” he said a impatient, clearly not having time for Isak at the moment. Isak cupped his face and looked directly into his eyes.

“You don’t have to stress so much.”

“But I want to make this perfect,” he sighed. “The guys deserve that.”

“As long as you have a bag of chips that’s not plain salt, a joint and spotify working, it’s gonna be great. Do we have that?”

“Yes.”

“And you have already ordered the pizza.”

“Yes.”

“Then it's gonna be great.”

“But-”

“No but, Even.” Isak’s hands were still firmly gripping his face. “What can I do to take your mind off this?”

“Blow me perhaps?” Even said quietly a bit embarrassed.

.

“Hey, guys.” Even greet Jonas and Madhi a fist pump. Magnus went straight for the hug as always and Even embraced it with a smile.

“So this is where you live,” Jonas said.

“Yep. Me and mum. This is the kitchen, the living room is that way and there is my room.”

“I wanna see your room,” Magnus exclaimed.

“Oh- ok. Go inside. It’s not that much to see.” They all went inside, Even stood in the door opening, curling his toes.  

“You’ve drawn all these?” Magnus pointed at the drawings at the wall.

“Yeah,” Even said shyly.

“They’re fucking great,” Magnus grinned.

“Shit yes,” both Jonas and Madhi agreed.

“Whoa! That’s like Isak!” Madhi’s mouth widen looking at drawn portrait of Isak. “Shit, that looks so real.”

“Thanks.”

“I heard my name,” Isak said coming from the toilet. He stopped at the door opening, leaning against Even, wrapping his arm around his middle.

“You’re on the wall and it looks like a freaking photo,” Madhi said enthusiastically.

“I told you he was good, didn’t I?” Isak’s smile widen into a grin.

“Yeah, but like wow. Dude, that’s awesome.”

“Shall we go into the living room?” Even asked, clearly bothered by all the compliments. “The pizza is on its way. Three large ones.”

“Ooohh! Pizza! Yas!” Jonas grinned.

They all walked into the living room with a beer each and ten minutes later, the pizza arrived. Three large pizzas got placed on the sofa table and nearly half an hour later, most of it was gone. They were meant to play FIFA, but got caught up in beer, music and talking so the Nintendo never got turned on.

Magnus wanted to show them all a funny clip he’d seen on youtube earlier that day, it had made him belly laugh for five minutes straight. Even hooked up his laptop to the TV, to get a bigger picture so everyone could see. The clip had indeed been funny, everyone laughed out loud, and right after it ended, Jonas pointed at another video he demanded Even to play. It went like it always did when you opened youtube, an hour later they were still watching youtube and the room was filled with laughter. Suddenly the internet connection fucked up and they took it as a sign to shut down youtube for the evening.

They resumed to what they had been doing an hour earlier, talk and listen to music. Madhi stared at Even tugging his fingers into Isak’s middle, kissing his temple. His eyes rested on them a little too long, because Even noticed and blushed by the stare.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m just a little bit jealous,” he said, now gaining everyone's attention. “Look at you. You are so great together. You just seem to fit, like this was meant to be. I wish I had some of that,” Madhi sighed.

“Awww. Are you lonely?” Isak asked.

“If I just had an ounce of what you to have, I would be happy. Last time I hooked up with someone, I found out the day after that she was my third cousin.”

“Holy shit!” Jonas shrieked. “For real?”

“For real,” Madhi groaned. “No way I could fuck her again after that, it would be impossible to get it up.”

“I bet.” Magnus laughed shaking his head.

Even abruptly got up, startling Isak.

“Everything OK? Isak whispered into Even’s ear as he also stood up.

“Yeah, I just got to pee. Like really bad.”

“Oh ok,” Isak chuckled. “But other than that?” He pressed his lips against the silky skin in the arch of his neck, leaving a wet smack. “You’re having a good time?”

“I’m having the best time, Isak.” Even smiled and pulled Isak in for a hug. “But now I really have to go, if not there will be an accident,” he huffed out a laugh.

“Go, go.” Isak let go of him, then squeezing his ass gently before pushing him forward, hearing a faint moan escape Even’s mouth.

Three minutes later, Even was back and waved his hand in the air.

“Anyone up for some weed?” Even wiggled his eyebrows with two big joints resting in his hands.

“Yes!” everyone shouted.

“We need to be on the balcony. I don’t want it to smell like weed in the living room. Mum is cool, but not _that_ cool. And she kinds freaks out because-,” Even paused. “I’m not supposed to smoke weed. It’s like- uhm- it doesn’t match well with my medication.”

“Oh yeah,” they hummed and nodded.

“But sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and have some,” Even chuckled.

“I’m with ya man,” Magnus said and high fived Even.

“But don’t worry, I won’t go all crazy on you, I’m not there now.” Even chuckled again, this time a bit more nervously.

“We’ll make you stop if that happens,” Magnus said reassuring. “I know a thing or two about these things.”

Isak had always been a bit annoyed with Magnus. He’d more than often spoken before thinking and was the goofball in the group. But after they had learned that Even was bipolar, Magnus had showed a side he’d never seen before and he’d grown more and more fondly of him. When Magnus said he would stop Even before things got out of hand, he knew it wasn’t just something he said, but true words. Magnus had been a great friend to Even ever since they’d met for the first time and especially after the shit hit the fan, and he wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up as best friends at some point.  

“I have a little confession to make,” Even said, clearing his throat, after most of the weed was gone. Everyone looked at him with curious eyes.

“While we’re talking about jealousy.” Even straighten up a bit. “I was kinda jealous of your group when I first came to Nissen. You know I saw Isak on the first day and as you might know I was sold the very second I laid my eyes on that beautiful boy,” he said looking at Isak who blushed by the compliment. “Whenever I saw him I saw you guys too and you seemed to be the perfect clique, always laughing and having fun. I missed that since _my_ clique sort of vanished up in smokes months earlier because-” he paused, like he was weighing his words carefully, debating what to reveal from the past. “-just let’s say shit hit the fan, _my shit,_ and nothing resumed to what it was after that.”

Everyone stood quietly listening to Even speak, like kids listening to someone telling a story. They were smart enough to not ask about his previous clique, thinking it was a sensitive subject, something that Even would tell about when he was ready for it.

“I just want to say I’m happy to have you around.”

“Awww, man.” Magnus put his arm on Even’s shoulder and squeezed it. “You’re a great addition to this group.”

“Yes!” Jonas and Madhi chimed in. “And not only because you provide us weed,” Jonas said inhaling.

“And Isak is so much better to be around now that you’re here. You don’t know what we had to put up with,” Madhi teased. “It wasn’t all fun and laughter.”

“Fuck you, Madhi,” Isak played offended, but deep down he knew he’d been a pain in the ass to be around for a great deal of time.

“You saved Isak from eternal grump.” Jonas said.

“You’re clearly doing something right and whatever that is, don’t ever stop!” Magnus added.

Even blushed by the compliments and it didn’t help when Isak opened his mouth, making his cheeks three shades darker.

“Even is indeed doing something right.” He said and put his arm around his middle, closing the distance between them until their hips linked. “If you have a couple of hours, I’m happy to elaborate on exactly what. We can start with the way he kisses. If you only knew-” Isak said blissfully.

“Oh shut up,” Even said embarrassed.

“And don’t forget the blowjobs!” Isak continued inhaling the joint Even had made. “He gives the best ones. This morning-”

“Enough jay for you,” Even huffed, even more embarrassed, grabbing the joint, resting between Isak’s fingers, in an unguarded moment. Isak seemed far off, probably thinking about the awesome blowjob he’d gotten that morning.

“Even, can you have a chat with Vilde?” Magnus asked.

“Why?” Even wondered.

“Yes, why?” Isak wondered too, coming back to the conversation after having spaced out for a minute.

“Because she refuses to blow me,” Magnus complained. “Maybe you can teach her a few things and tell her it’s not so scary?” Isak choked on thin air visualising the conversation.

“Even is not going to talk to Vilde about blowjobs,” Isak protested. “Jesus Christ!”

“Let Even speak for himself, Isak!” Magnus snapped back. “Maybe he wants to share his wisdom?”

“What did you have in mind, Mags? _How_ should I teach her a few things? I’m not so good with with words and it’s better to show how to do it, you learn more that way. Should I put my dick in her mouth?” Even asked dead serious, nose crinkled.

“Even!” Isak shouted while the others laughed out loud. “Definitely no more jay for you either! You clearly can’t handle it.” Isak shook his head, face flushed, thinking about Even and Vilde together.

“I wasn’t actually thinking that,” Magnus stated dryly. “But- if that would make her blow me, I’m not totally against the idea.”

“What the fuck?” Madhi and Jonas exclaimed simultaneously. “You’re not your right mind, Mags.” Jonas shook his head laughing. “That desperate?”

“Sort of. And if one of your dicks should ever be in Vilde’s mouth, I would prefer it to be Evens,” he casually said, inhaling the joint. Even looked at him in disbelief, but Isak saw the little satisfied smirk resting in the corner of his mouth.

“You have a secret gay crush on my boyfriend?” Isak frowned.

“Eh- no, I was just speaking hypothetically,” he said not embarrassed at all and Isak wondered if he ever got embarrassed.

“My boyfriends dick isn’t going into anyone’s mouth but mine.” Isak assured everyone, letting the palm of his hand rest in Even’s groin. “This is mine and only mine.” Everyone laughed when they saw Isak squeezing Even’s dick. Even’s laughed mixed up with a slight moan and Isak looked at Even and giggled.

“Magnus, I like you a lot, but I think you have to solve the issue yourself,” he said half apologetic. “My boyfriend is clearly not having any of it.

“That’s the only thing stopping you,” Isak frowned again.

“I bet I _could_ teach her a thing or two,” he answered smugly. “I think I recall _someone_ , not mentioning any name, moaning my name this morning telling me I was awesome.”

“Even!”

Isak shrieked covering his face with his hands. This was beyond embarrassing, he’d never talked to his friends about stuff like this. But at the same time he loved how carefree Even was, how happy he seemed to be, hanging out with the boys. If some awkward talk about blowjobs and moaning was what it took, Isak just had to deal with it. Even being happy was the most important thing.

The boys belly laughed, nearly dropping the joint, clearly more amused than embarrassed. Seeing his face crimson red, Isak reckoned was on their top three list of favorite things to watch.

“Or-” Magnus paused. “Maybe Vilde can watch you?”

The laugh stilled and everyone stared at Magnus.

“You didn’t just ask that did you? Jesus Christ Mags. Vilde is not gonna watch!” Isak said out loud.

“Could be kinda hot?” Even pondered.

“Even! No!” Isak groaned. “ Don’t even think about it!”

“I bet you can find some suitable how-to videos online,” Madhi said. “Let me check on the laptop when we get inside.”

“No, no, no!” Jonas shouted. “I have nothing against gay sex, but we’re not gonna watch that together.”

“I was just trying to help out,” Madhi whined. “But whatever.”

“Thanks Madhi, but Jonas is a little sensitive so we better not. We don’t want to scar him for life.”

“Fuck you, Mags” Jonas flipped his finger glaring at him.

Back inside the living room they opened more beer. Even placed him next to Magnus and soon they were deep down in a serious discussion. Isak could only imagine what they were talking about, but hoped for the longest they didn’t didn’t dwell on blowjobs.

The rest, Madhi, Jonas and Isak, were yet again discussing 90ies hip hop after Gang Starr’s You Know my Steez started to play, making Jonas shout out loud that he loved Even’s playlist. Isak could see, even though Even didn’t break eye contact with Magnus as they talked, that he smirked by the comment.

Twenty minutes later, Isak glanced at Even, seeing him all fired up, gesticulating, eagerly telling Magnus something and Magnus looked at him like he was God talking. Isak spaced out for a while, heart swelling as he looked at Even, all happy Even was happy, maybe a little too long, because suddenly he felt Jonas nudge him.

“Isak? Earth calling Isak Valtersen!” Jonas said.

“Sorry,” Isak excused himself. “You said what?”

“Why aren’t you paying attention?” Jonas rolled his eyes.

“Because I’m so freaking happy. Look at Even! He’s so fucking beautiful and happy and I’m so fucking lucky.” The words slip out of him and he didn’t care about how mushy it sounded. This was to the point why he had spaced out. His head spinned slightly and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was drunk in love or just drunk. It was probably a mix.

“Awww. You sap!” Jonas teased.

“Whatever,” Isak sighed blissfully, letting his eyes rest on Even again.

“This!” Madhi shouted making Even and Magnus abruptly stop talking and turn to them. “This is what I want. I want someone that looks at me the way Isak looks at Even and if I can be just ten percent as happy as Isak is right now, Jesus Christ I would be so satisfied.” Madhi let out a big sigh. “Fuck, just look at him!” He sighed again.

Isak’s face redden by Madhi’s sudden outburst and when he looked at Even, seeing him blowing him kisses his way, he died a bit inside.

“How did you do it, guys?” Madhi asked with a dejected smile, collapsing into the chair he was sitting in.

“Cinnamon buns,” Isak just said.

“Cinnamon buns, huh?” Madhi frowned.

“Yup. I needed cinnamon buns and then Even was just there, right behind the counter, like some perfect human being nearly killing me with that bright smile on his face.”

“And you were shining like the sun itself,” Even added blissfully.

“Cinnamon buns, hmmm.” Madhi scratched his head.

“Fuck, now I crave cinnamon buns,” Jonas whined.

Even abruptly got up and ran into the kitchen, almost tripping over his own feet. Everyone looked at him, wondering what he was up to.

“Too much jay?” Jonas asked.

Isak was about to get up and go see Even, when he saw him coming back with a bowl with cinnamon buns.

“Best fucking cinnamon buns ever,” Even declared with a big grin, wavering a little from too much beer. “Made by the one and only Isak fucking Valtersen!”

“Definitely too much jay,” Jonas laughed out loud making his hair sway. “Isak baking? You’re not fooling us, Even.”

“I’m telling you the truth and I got evidence!” Even parried.

“Show me!” Jonas demanded.

“Proof?” Isak frowned, feeling his cheek heat up.

Even walked over to the table and everyone gathered around him as he scrolled through his phone to find the picture. He flipped up a photo of Isak standing in the kitchen with dough in his hand, flour on his clothes and a slightly strained smile on his face.

“Holy fuck!” Magnus yelled. “You actually baked? What happened to Isak?”

“He brought them to our date,” Even light up.

“Isak fell in love, that’s what happened,” Jonas concluded.

“Fuck! Does it ever end?” Madhi said out loud, hands in the air.

“Sorry guys, but I think my boyfriend is in another league than you,” Even stated matter-of-factly, looking at Isak as his face flushed, turning three shades darker.

“Bold statement!” Jonas raised his eyebrows.  

“Whoa!” Magnus glared at Even. “It is Isak we’re talking about, you know. I wouldn’t be so sure if I was you.”

“Ay!” Isak shouted.

“We were at the top of Holmenkollen, the ski jump, overlooking the city and he’d brought blankets, hot cocoa and homemade cinnamon buns for us. Oh and there was music,  he played me the song he played me at our first date at Grefsenkollen and he even brought a little led-lamp. One more thing, he brought me a woolen sweater, a scarf, a winter hat and mittens so I wouldn’t freeze. And everything was a fucking surprise. Anyone care to raise me with a better date?”

Everyone turned silent and Isak just sat there with crimson red cheeks, thanking the jay for decrease the level of embarrassment he normally would’ve had. Madhi eventually let out another groan.

“Fucking shit. Just ten percent, please! I need just ten percent!” Madhi swiftly took one of the buns and dig deep into it. “At least no one can deny me a fucking bun!” He took another bite, clucking out loud.

“No? no?” Even wondered.

“Eh-” Jonas started. “Ok- Isak wins.”

“Yeah.” Magnus just agreed, not even trying to top what Isak had done.

“ _I_ win!” Even said and took hold of Isak and pressed his lips against Isak, smacking them.

“I guess we _both_ win,” Isak said, thinking he was about to implode, that was how overjoyed he was. He linked his forehead with Even and locked his eyes with his. “Shit, you can’t do this to me,” he slurred a little.

“Why?” Even whispered.

“My heart is swelling so many sizes I might implode any minute or explode- I’m not sure.” His nose crinkled. “Either way, I’ll be in thousand pieces.”

“I’ll just glue you back together if that happens,” Even reassured.

When Isak and Even let go of each other, they saw Jonas with a bun stuffed inside his mouth.

“Fucking fantastic,” he said, sound muffled by the bun itself.

They both laughed and soon the others followed along.

“What?” Jonas asked confused.

“Just look at my snapchat story tomorrow and you’ll understand,” Magnus grinned, filming Jonas.

Isak excused himself and went to the toilet unload some of the beer he had drinken. The jay made his memory a bit fuzzy, but he thought he might have had five beers or was it only four? No, wait, it might have been six actually.

Opening the door to the bathroom, he heard some familiar music coming out from the speakers in the living room and Isak instantly knew who who was in control of the laptop now. The song took him back to that friday when Isak had put 20 seconds of courage in good use and asked Even to come with him to a party. It had been one of the best decision he’d ever made.

Isak was probably more in love now than back then, as if that was even possible. One thing was certainly different now - Isak was sure Even loved him. It was easy to see because as he stepped inside the room, he saw Even lit up and walked towards him reaching out his hand.

“Let’s dance!”

Isak didn’t hesitate to take his hand. It was nothing more he wanted than to dance with Even, even if it was bloody Beach Boys as Jonas would put it. And he wasn’t surprised, just laughed happily, when Even knew all the goddamn words to the song and sang along, holding on to Isak.   

 

_Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up_

_In the morning when the day is new?_

_And after having spent the day together_

_Hold each other close the whole night through_

 

_Happy times together at dawn have we been spending_

_I wish that every kiss was never ending_

_Wouldn't it be nice?_

 

_Maybe if we think, and wish, and hope, and pray, it might come true_

_Baby, then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do_

_We could be married_

_And then we'd be happy_

 

Magnus snapped some photos of the them, thinking it was a great moment to eternalise and show the world. Madhi halfly lie in his chair, staring at the dancing couple, shifting on letting out happy awwws and shaking his head, wondering how the fuck they did it. Jonas had just finished his third cinnamon bun when he realised what kind of music was blasting from the speakers.

“Who the fuck put-” Jonas yelled, but stopped mid sentence, seeing Isak and Even happily dancing together and just turned up the volume and grinned.


End file.
